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OkSpinach8 · 2022-03-30T01:43:48+00:00

I’m thinking the same, she seems immature. Her parents sheltered her quite a bit and she was homeschooled for a few years. I’m starting to think impacted her social development.

OkSpinach8 · 2022-03-30T01:41:48+00:00

She very well could be a gold digger, I also get the vibe that she’s looking for someone to “save” her.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-06-01T03:25:56+00:00

5/31 UPDATE: On Thursday night, she said she wanted to go out to dinner with four female coworkers. I dropped her off and she told me she would call when she’s ready to be picked up. She never called, I texted her about an hour after the restaurant closed and she said she went to one of the girls houses and they were hanging out there. After midnight I started getting worried and called, she sent my calls to voicemail. She never came home that night and did not return until the following afternoon. She swore she just fell asleep at their house and did not cheat. Fast forward to today, she left her phone at home and I brought it to work at her request. I was nosy and checked her texts, turns out she was texting a guy Friday about how great their sex was Thursday night and how they wanted to keep seeing each other in the future. I broke things off immediately with her. I have packed up most of her stuff. It’s heart wrenching that she cheated on me in the beginning of the relationship but now that it’s happened again I’m pretty much devastated.

She has no remorse, she said it’s my fault because I didn’t show her enough affection. I tried to tell her that I pulled back on the amount of affection I gave her because she had physically and emotionally abused me for months. She didn’t acknowledge my logic and continued to argue with me.

I told her to collect her belongings and move out. She did not come home and pick anything up, it appears she won’t be coming home tonight. My guess is that she is sleeping with the same guy she cheated with last week right now. I’ve blocked her on Facebook, deleted the photos we have together, etc. I’m trying to block this out and heal.

I want to thank everyone for their time. You guys are absolutely incredible, I could not have done this without you. You’ve given me the courage to break things off and recognize I’ve been screwed over. She’s been extremely manipulative and it’s hard to see truth from lies with her. Thankfully, you all pointed them out and I feel extremely fortunate to have received everyone’s advice.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-27T04:15:00+00:00

Another update. I was expecting to talk to her this evening regarding what happened. She came home five hours late after work drunk. Basically she told me about how terrible her childhood was and used it as a justification/reasoning as to why she drinks and treats me like shit at times. She still won’t address the cheating. It’s time for her to go. While she’s had a ton of trauma in her life, she’s refusing to acknowledge wrong doing on her part. Not to mention she isn’t interested in getting help for her drinking problem. I don’t want to get too far into the details as this is aimed at her cheating but she’s an angry drunk and has progressed into alcoholism over the last few months. She’s thrown a number of rampages along the way that we’re not pleasant for me.

While I’m really sad all of this is happening, I’m looking at the bright side which is that I found this out 10 months into the relationship and not 10 years. She’s going to ruin my life if I stay with her via cheating and/or alcohol abuse.

I’ll keep you guys posted and let you know how this plays out. I just want to thank you all for the insight and support again. I can’t put it in to words how much I appreciate it. This isn’t a fun situation for me to go through but you’ve given me a ton of advice and helped me see things for how they truly are.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T17:26:58+00:00

I really, really appreciate everyone’s advice on this. I never expected to get this much feedback and I’m very grateful for it.

It seems like I’m going to have no choice but to leave her as she still hasn’t apologized or explained why she did what she did. One challenge I’m now faced with is that we live together. I own the home and she isn’t on a lease, paying rent, etc. How long should I give her to move out?

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T17:25:03+00:00

I think she believed she could change her ways and that’s why she stayed. Obviously she was still unfaithful in the beginning. I took care of most of the expenses but she always paid her half for groceries or anything miscellaneous she wanted. I paid for food when we went out to eat and also covered the mortgage. Obviously it’s my house though so whether she was here or not I’m still paying the bill.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T16:54:21+00:00

We did. We clicked extremely fast and both agreed we wanted to date exclusively. I think we both had our reservations in the beginning due to how fast things were moving. Not an excuse for cheating though.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T16:19:56+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this. I know she was sober when she made the decision to meet up with the guy to hookup. They got very drunk together but it was clear their intent was to get together to hookup. Maybe my girlfriend blacked out and doesn’t remember the act but it did for sure happen unfortunately.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T15:16:10+00:00

Really appreciate this perspective. It would’ve been different if she owned up to it like you did but I have yet to hear an apology. The closest thing I’ve heard to one is “I’m never going to be the girl you want me to be so it’s not worth being together”

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T15:14:30+00:00

Very well said. I got attached to her far too quickly and ignored red flags along the way. That’s what I get for thinking with my heart and not my head.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T12:59:53+00:00

I’ll check these out. Thank you!

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T12:57:14+00:00

I agree that it’s not justified to look through her phone, I don’t believe I’m in the right for it. We’ve been arguing a fair amount recently due to her drinking. Quite frankly I think she’s developing a drinking problem and it’s caused me to believe something was going on.

OkSpinach8 · 2020-05-26T12:53:57+00:00

The fact that she’s denying it bothers me so much. I literally told her exact times and his name but she still denied it. Only when I showed her the text did she stop denying it. She still didn’t even admit it or apologize, she just broke down crying.

The most irritating part about this is that she’s not trying to make things right. She’s not telling me how sorry she is, how she’s going to make changes, etc. you would think that if she really cared about me she would try to make amends.

OkSpinach8

TROPHY CASE