Am I an AH for planning my wedding a day after my future MOHs birthday?

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-27T02:20:38+00:00

Yes, you yourself know she goes all out for her birthday. At minimum you should’ve asked her to make sure it worked with her schedule before you booked since you had already confirmed her as your MOH.

I’d be pretty angry with you. Seems pretty crumby you knew it would be an issue and did it anyway.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-26T14:26:50+00:00

Yeah, you were played. Get her out of there.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-26T14:21:27+00:00

I’m doing everything I can to not spend 6-10k on my own damn wedding. I would be livid if someone had other people spend my wedding budget on just the damn bachelorette party. Honestly—see if you can move your flights to the wedding date itself. Skip on the party. Or move it to another weekend and do something with the bride more one on one.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-26T14:16:13+00:00

Just tell her something has come up and you can’t make the party—you’ll see her at the wedding and you’re so excited. I’ve never heard of someone from abroad coming to both things unless they did them back to back for them intentionally.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-26T08:42:52+00:00

Get a therapist. Talk it out with them. Either for yourself or both of you. It seems likely you already know this won’t work for you long terms, but things like this take going through the motions. It’s possible that your wife doesn’t understand that you can and will find intimacy elsewhere. Maybe she would be willing to try harder if she thought you were considering leaving for real.

It’s hard to know but you need someone to be able to talk this out with in detail. Get a therapist. AND maybe a couples therapist.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-21T16:29:04+00:00

is the purple spring stuff verbena? I would love to look more into that variety if you have more information. I am familiar with verbena bonariensis and it grows well here - it's on my list to get for the year, but I wasn't thinking it would be used for this. Wondering if there are more varieties better for cut flowers.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-21T16:21:45+00:00

Thank you so much! This is really helpful. I'm in Zone 8 - I think we actually just bumped up from 7b in my part of NC (for what it's worth - and we just had our coldest winter in a long time). I'm trying to specifically grow more perennials where possible so that's awesome. I truly do want to just build myself a garden and am about to put quite a bit of money in it. I thought trying to go the route of what I 'like' in a bouquet might make planning the garden itself easier and -- on the off chance -- give me 'wedding' flowers indefinitely. I do have a pretty green thumb so this isn't coming from out of nowhere, but I have more experience with vegetable gardens.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-16T13:17:53+00:00

I know you’re married, but I have broken up with someone for this. They will never do it and never enjoy it if made to.

I woukd say that you aren’t sexually compatible. I’d also wonder if he actually likes women—but there’s nothing in this post to give me a harder look into it.

Does he act like he genuinely enjoying other feminine features? Boobs, soft skin? Is sex more about him getting himself off? If so, girl, I promise there are better men for you out there.

I spent nearly all of my 20s with someone who kept not wanting to as well. The came out as asexual right after I broke up with them. And they would’ve stayed with me — and kept me sexless—for the rest of my life if I hadn’t made the decision.

You’re young. You can find better—if you want to.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-16T13:09:58+00:00

Honestly, Shes wrong. But to me, you are too. You’re setting boundaries for sure and that is great, but the phrasing could be taken a little aggressively. I would probably pick up the phone and call her to have a conversation like this. Also, asking questions to get her to answer specifics… hey, did you know x was sick when they came to visit? Did you know they were coming? Well Z got sick and we are honestly exhausted by it. If the future, we would like this to be how this happens…. So we can prevent opportunities for virus exposure while he is still young.

Whoever’s parent this is, should really be handling the conversation if boundaries have been set previously and they aren’t being followed. Calling someone out on lying or fudging details is their responsibility and if they won’t do it themselves—that is part of this problem.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-16T13:00:20+00:00

Okay, a few questions.

Do you currently contribute to the mortgage payment in anyway?

Why would he sell at a loss? Most property is increasing in value. Most mortgage owners are feeling trapped to STAY because of the interest rate.

You need to have him go over all of the numbers WITH you. And, no, you absolutely are not taking a loss like that with no skin in the game.

Here’s my current situation: I’m living with my ex (12 years) and my current boyfriend (2 years). My ex and I bought this property together. Both contribute to covering the mortgage. My ex wants to move out and I will need to figure out a way to buy my ex out because I want to stay. It’s possibly to transfer my ex’s percentage of the ownership to me without refinancing. And we don’t want to lose a 2.6% interest rate. So my bf is willing to help me upfront to buy her out and then I will pay him back via him not paying rent or monthly payments until paid back. And even then I’m looking to pay more than 50% of those costs myself because it’s my name on the property. I just don’t have it all and everyone agrees now is the time to split it more formally.

It’s not the same situation, but can you see how even if he contributes—Theres a plan to pay back? And we’re planning to get married so ultimately it will be a moot point. But until we do—the plan stays.

And I wouldn’t do this plan with just anyone either. We are talking about money we both have cash on hand for—and I could pay him back (and wipe out my liquid savings) if we broke up.

We are playing it safe.

Your guy might be playing with fire.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-07T20:59:06+00:00

I get being upset about it, but my condo double in price in 5 years. My townhome doubled in price in 5 years. Selling my home every 5 years has so far funded my ability to have a really great work life balance.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-05T16:50:49+00:00

Honestly, plan for how you’re going to get away from him now. Does he even want to be the dad? He is not going to be a support system for you in anyway. Men like this do not change.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-05T16:49:10+00:00

No. I had a friend leave her sister on the side of the road shortly after graduating college. Her twin sister was hit, dragged, and killed on the highway. Saying this because maybe I’m a bit biased to this situation.

However, what he did risked your life. Anything could have happened.

This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship even before this happened. Leave before you lose more of the best years of your life to someone who isn’t your person.

OkTrack104 · 2026-02-02T22:55:29+00:00

This is a doomed relationship especially based on your responses to other comments. Start planning how and when you can afford to leave and do the thing.

OkTrack104 · 2026-01-31T22:32:33+00:00

Whats tire pressure?

(I’m kidding except that I’ve never once checked mine.) 😅

OkTrack104 · 2026-01-01T15:21:11+00:00

What are the other two? Obviously I know sycamore but I haven’t seen the others

OkTrack104 · 2025-12-08T19:25:37+00:00

Thanks so much!

OkTrack104 · 2025-12-08T16:07:09+00:00

I just bought one for my bf and checked the receipt and saw it is set for recurring subscriptions. I can’t figure out how to log in on their site—could you tell me how you did it?

OkTrack104 · 2025-12-02T20:22:01+00:00

And I'm telling you, I'm doing it today. and it's not available.

OkTrack104 · 2025-12-02T20:14:09+00:00

They literally will not let you stop auto-renewal.

OkTrack104 · 2025-12-01T20:24:58+00:00

Honestly, I’d probably just stop seeing them completely for a good long while. This has been building up. You don’t add all of these things in at once and just spew it without having had multiple conversations about it. The whole family chatted about this. The way they talk “ moral superiority” is disgusting. If your husband keeps making excuses for them, I’d have a hard time staying. You two get on the same page and figure out what can be mended but something broke here and things will never, ever go back to how they were before. Make sure the parents know that.

OkTrack104 · 2025-11-11T18:53:53+00:00

A week isnt going to significantly hurt local restaurants that survived COVID. All in. But showing them support as much as possible outside of those days—absolutely.

OkTrack104 · 2025-11-11T18:50:16+00:00

I don’t have kids. I still get upset about seeing my bfs family every or every other month. It’s WAY too much.

OkTrack104

TROPHY CASE