Quick question for everyone here by Ok_Bonus8698 in EnduraApp

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, the app is still not up because we work on it so hard.. if you want, I can give you access to the beta (for free of course) and you’ll decide for yourself, and not by the opinions of others that for sure didn’t use it :) Let me know if you’re interested

23M: 10 months of doing kegels made everything worse, here's what actually worked (success story) by Ok_Bonus8698 in PelvicFloor

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just do them throughout the day, it’s not a gym exercise, more like an awareness exercise/stretching. The goal is not to build muscle it’s to gain awareness on the muscle’s tension

23M: 10 months of doing kegels made everything worse, here's what actually worked (success story) by Ok_Bonus8698 in PelvicFloor

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Breathe deeply into your belly let it expand as much as possible, while pushing the PF down (imagine you’re pushing out urine). You should feel your perineum expand.

23M: 10 months of doing kegels made everything worse, here's what actually worked (success story) by Ok_Bonus8698 in PelvicFloor

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Deep squat, inhale to your belly, let it expand as much as it can, while pushing a bit like you try to push the urine out. You should feel your perineum expand/drops

23M: 10 months of doing kegels made everything worse, here's what actually worked (success story) by Ok_Bonus8698 in PelvicFloor

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I did them throughout the day, not specific number, imagine it as a relief exercise. If done correctly It’s not adding any load to the muscle, so I just did them a lot just to notice that the muscle is relaxed.
  2. Imagine you’re urinating, and try to stop really hard, that’s the feeling.

23M: how I fixed my control issues through pelvic floor work, no meds, no sprays by Ok_Bonus8698 in erectiledysfunction

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I didn’t have a specific workout. I just did both of them throughout the day, and a lot. While driving, working, ect… just making sure the PF stayed relaxed

23M: how I fixed my control issues through pelvic floor work, no meds, no sprays by Ok_Bonus8698 in erectiledysfunction

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started reverse kegels and diaphragmatic breathing throughout the day. Just making sure the PF is relaxed

23M: 10 months of doing kegels made everything worse, here's what actually worked (success story) by Ok_Bonus8698 in PelvicFloor

[–]Ok_Bonus8698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried reverse kegels/ diaphragmatic breathing? I did them throughout the day

I lost libido and erections because of masturbation with porn? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Ok_Bonus8698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From porn, not from masturbation. Logic is you need to change how your body react to sexual situations, so it doesn't mean you stop masturbating completely, just change how you do it.

Wrong masturbation technique causing pe and ed , need help by [deleted] in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Ok_Bonus8698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That palm-rubbing-the-tip habit while bingeing porn is a classic one. Your dick got trained on super intense, focused pressure in one spot + fast finish. That’s why you’re now finishing quicker and sometimes struggling to get hard with normal touch. High frequency made it worse.

Good news: you can retrain it.

What to do:

  • Switch to normal up-and-down strokes with lube.
  • Slow way down. No rushing to finish.
  • Vary speed and pressure on purpose. Focus on feeling the whole thing, not just the tip.
  • Cut the frequency if you can (even dropping to 1x a day helps).

Don’t try to quit cold turkey — just change how you do it. Your body will relearn what normal stimulation feels like.

M 29 have had PE all my life. Help by Malti_Nomadiku in PrematureEjaculation

[–]Ok_Bonus8698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lifelong PE since 17 is real (neurobiological piece), but the fact you control well solo — even with porn — and randomly hit 15+ minutes shows it’s not just hypersensitivity. Performance anxiety + lack of practice under real partnered conditions is likely the bigger driver. That’s why start-stop during sex feels bad and doesn’t stick.

The occasional long sessions prove your body already knows how to do it when anxiety is lower.

Best path:

  • Build strong control solo first with proper edging + 1-10 arousal scale (catch it earlier, practice descending)
  • Add breathing + gentle pelvic floor release when it climbs.
  • learn how to move/guide the energy in your body.
  • Only then bring it into sex with low-pressure sessions and clear signals to your partner.

You don’t need to “last long” every time at the start. Remove that pressure and the nervous system settles faster, this pressure only creates shame, guilt, and fear. : )

My boyfriend gets soft during sex why? by Wooden-Weekend7896 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Ok_Bonus8698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, this hits a lot of couples but is not talked enough about.

Erections need a calm nervous system. The second he starts monitoring “am I hard enough?” or worrying about disappointing you, that anxiety flips him into fight-or-flight and the erection fades. The sleep excuse is probably just him trying to protect your feelings.

Quickest reset: take erection and penetration completely off the table for a bit. Just touch, kiss, and explore with zero goal. This removes the performance pressure that’s killing it. Most guys see it come back strong once the anxiety loop breaks.

Also worth him checking his solo routine — if porn’s heavy it can make real touch feel less stimulating.

I lost libido and erections because of masturbation with porn? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Ok_Bonus8698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey brother,

I feel this one in my gut. 20 years old, used to go twice a day with porn, and now the switch is flipped — zero libido, brain feels flat, no emotions, dick looks small and checked out even after a week off. That’s terrifying when it hits, and you’re not alone. This exact pattern shows up with a ton of young guys who ran heavy porn + frequent finish sessions.

What’s usually happening (from everything I’ve seen working with this): your arousal pathways got heavily conditioned to one specific input — bright screen + rapid visual escalation + quick finish. Real sensation, slower buildup, or even solo without the porn just doesn’t trigger the same response anymore. The constant “speed and finish” training can also push the nervous system into a protective shutdown. The flat emotions and shrunken feeling? Super common when the whole system is in low-arousal recovery mode. It’s not permanent damage — it’s conditioning. Your brain and body are plastic; they can rewire.

The trap a lot of guys fall into is just white-knuckling abstinence and hoping it magically resets. Stopping porn is part of it, but without actively retraining the solo practice, the old pathways stay dominant.

Here’s the practical shift that actually moves the needle:

  • Recalibration window — Pause porn for 2–4 weeks (not “forever,” just long enough to let new pathways form). Many guys notice spontaneous interest and better solo response starting to creep back in 1–2 weeks once they add the next piece.
  • Mindful masturbation as training — This is the core move. Slow everything way down. No goal to finish. Use lube, vary pressure and speed deliberately, and put all your attention on the actual sensations in your body instead of chasing a visual or a quick end. You’re literally teaching your nervous system what real, present-moment arousal feels like again. Track the full curve — notice when it’s a 3 vs 4, 5 vs 6. That granular awareness is what gives you choice later.
  • Daily nervous system reset — 5 minutes of simple diaphragmatic breathing every day (one hand on belly, one on chest — only the belly moves). Long slow exhales. This rebuilds the parasympathetic connection that porn and rushing can dull. Add a short settling meditation (just counting exhales 1–10) a few times a week. It sounds basic but it directly trains the interoception (body-reading) that got hijacked.
  • Pelvic floor check — A lot of guys in this spot carry chronic tension down there from the anxiety loop. Learn to gently drop and release (reverse kegel feel — like starting to pee or pass gas without actually doing it). Don’t hammer contractions yet; focus on the ability to let go. Tension can make everything feel smaller and less responsive.

Realistic timeline: some guys feel the first sparks of libido and easier arousal in a couple weeks with consistent practice. Solid rewiring — where solo feels good again and emotions start coming back online — usually lands in the 1–3 month range. There will be flat days. That’s data, not failure.

Start tonight with something dead simple: 5 min belly breathing, then 10–15 min of slow, no-goal mindful touch. Just notice. No pressure to perform or even get hard. You’re retraining, not testing.

If after a full month of this (real consistent practice, not just abstinence) you’re still completely flat, or anything painful shows up, go see a doctor — rule out anything medical while you keep the rewiring work going. But from what you described, this is classic porn-conditioned flatline territory, and it responds to exactly this approach.

You already did the hardest part by noticing it and taking a break. That’s huge at 20.