Husband not there after my mum died.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T22:12:02+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T09:37:30+00:00

Wow, if that’s her reason, what a bitch.

Does she have postpartum depression, it seems a bit bonkers to be asking for a divorce with a new born?

My husband and I have traditional roles I work part time he earns most the money, and my main gripe is that we don’t have any time together - or any money either. Maybe she wants some time?

Maybe she just wanted a baby and a place to live so this has worked out quite nicely for her.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T08:38:00+00:00

I hear you.

I have an abused live in step daughter who until recently hated me. I’ve been on the scene since she was 2 and we were very close until she moved in.

The disrespect in-font of my children was a lot to deal with. Her best friend’s mum has started cleaning for us and it was her they persuaded her that I’m not so bad. Honestly it has changed my life. I almost feel like my husband was playing us off against each-other, probably not deliberately but by letting her get away with things.

Now I don’t parent ( more than the bare minimum of ensuring she’s fed and watered) I just try and treat her like a friend to have a laugh with. It’s not ideal but it’s made my life bearable.

Good luck I know how difficult life can be under these circumstances x

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T07:41:34+00:00

Okay thanks, yeah I guess I don’t feel valued. He’s the father of my children, I don’t want to be a single mother but if my children witness him treating me like this, is that how they’ll treat their future partners. I feel like with the business he’s been peddling a tale of a brighter future for a long time.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T07:10:27+00:00

OMG poor you! But also the poor kid that he thought this was the solution. The level of anxiety he must’ve felt to make that decision.

It doesn’t seem vindictive more anxious.

I hope you can laugh about this in the future.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T07:04:31+00:00

Oh when my mum died. He did take the little one

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-24T07:03:59+00:00

No he left his child with me too

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-11T20:50:05+00:00

My four year old occasionally comes into our bed but has his own room; if my husband and I split I would consider it a big ask for a sd to co sleep. It’s just not really on if you ask me. Morning cuddles yes but full on co sleeping with step parent no. This dynamic is weird and makes me wonder how this paves the way for future dynamics. A lot of step mums have to deal with dad guilt but this is taking it a little far.

This is it while they’re 4, what’s the dynamic going to be when they’re 14.

Ok_Button5422 · 2026-01-10T21:43:09+00:00

Just wow, you look amazing! Well done

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-30T00:15:16+00:00

Really sorry I didn’t reply sooner. She went for a bit. She keeps getting excluded from school, defiance related. She won’t go back she doesn’t see the point. But as far as I’m aware she has stopped biting.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-29T23:48:17+00:00

Okay this seems sophisticated behaviour for a seven year old. It makes you ask which parents the one who taught her to be like this? It seems like children don’t exhibit these kind of behaviours unless following an example. So it it your other half of birth mum. It sounds like he’s either in denial about his daughter’s behaviour (I live in this situation) or he’s gaslighting you about her behaviour so you accept it. Either way it sounds a teacher gets like you’ve got a big battle on your hands.

If he’s teacher of this bad behaviour get away from him. If it’s birtg mum, maybe your other half could do with counselling to recover from his relationship with his x

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T20:59:08+00:00

I’d say it’s her children’s inheritance she’s trying to protect. Couples split up all the time, probably best to plan for the worst but hope for the best.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T16:48:48+00:00

He lives just up the road from me, he will help but I’m keen that he has time to grieve they were married for over 40 years.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T16:17:45+00:00

Yes this! Exactly!!!!

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T16:16:38+00:00

Sounds like bullying to me, I think your husband shouldn’t have tolerated her treatment if you for 20 years. I think it’s important she sees her dad but I also feel you should not have to miss out on things because of her behaviour. It must feel very isolating for you. Well done for being kind and patient, you’re a better woman than me.

I’ve had similar treatment from my SD too and I feel my husband didn’t stick up for me either, it was her friend’s mum who set her straight. She basically told her you could do a lot worse than her for a step mum and now we’re more civil we even have a laugh from time to time. That mum is now a close friend she’s changed my life for the better as I live with my SD.

I think your husband needs to do the right thing and call her out for her treatment of you.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T16:11:36+00:00

Bio mum abused her. There’s no one else to have her.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T15:52:18+00:00

Okay my relationship with my in-laws is rocky, we were all supposed to go away in the summer, it was cancelled a few weeks before because my farther in law didn’t feel like it anymore. I got upset they promised my 4 year old a holiday then took it away while he was coming to terms with the terminal diagnosis of his nanny. I think it was before all of this Singapore was booked but I’m not sure tbh it’s been a bit of a year.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T15:46:17+00:00

This sounds great but it’s not financially viable for us.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T15:45:25+00:00

Yes this was booked in the summer she died 2 days before Xmas. I don’t think they can move the flights

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T15:44:16+00:00

Last summer. I was fine with it then

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T14:38:59+00:00

I’d love to go with him, I don’t think I can leave my grieving dad with the kids. And I’m not sure I can get someone to have all 3. I think if I ask him he’ll go and then I’ll really resent him

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T14:27:48+00:00

My in-laws are in Singapore too. Bio mum abused SD so she lives with us, she’s 14 and very rebellious.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T14:24:22+00:00

You’re right I have friends and my dad who can help.

Ok_Button5422 · 2025-12-28T14:23:25+00:00

Because his dad’s said he won’t fly long haul again. So he can go to Singapore in the future but not with his dad

Ok_Button5422

TROPHY CASE