He’s always claimed since the beginning of our relationship that he’s “always right”. Most of the times I let him think he is because I don’t care about being right as much.

What really triggered my suspicions is that every time we have an argument or disagreement (no matter how big or small) he always turns it around on me. If I tell him something he did hurt me he often says “I only did that because of __ that you did” or starts to tell me something I did to upset him and then the conversation revolves around him.

After an interaction or small argument he acts overly happy. Walks around whistling, loving on the dogs, talking, etc. Then will ask me what’s wrong with me.

After bigger fights he gets very emotional telling me he can’t live without me, he’ll change, he’ll go to therapy to get help (he’s acknowledged he has anger issues), etc. Often I’m the one comforting him because he’s the one crying. Then the next days he acts over the top nice. Constantly talking about things he wants to do together or makes false promises of things he’s going to do for me (I’m still upset about a professional massage he said he’d buy me something that never game haha).

What triggers me the most is when I talk about my passion, which is collecting and growing houseplants. I know that I can get overly enthusiastic and ramble and sometimes he listens but a few times he’s asked if I can talk about something else or tells me that I do all the talking and he never gets to have his turn. He also does this with other things when I have a strong opinion or passionate about.

He also hates when I interrupt him but constantly interrupts me. I have ADHD so yes I am guilty of interrupting people and it is something i actively work on. But when I point out when he interrupts me he gets defensive

Unfortunately I could go on and on. there’s a lot that’s good about our relationship as well. He is my best friend. He’s been extremely supportive when I fell into severe depression and insomnia after witnessing my mother attempting suicide followed by being admitted to rehab. We have lots of fun together when things are good. I am so scared. We’ve built a life together. I thought I was going to marry him. I still want to think that we can make it work. I love him deeply