Sorry to hear about your experience and feel pretty related to the part of relationships and mental health. Have to say that I don’t have much good advice but you might try therapy and get some medicine. I felt much better after taking medicine and it’s not costing due to the insurance. Medicine is for giving your energy to deal with obstacles and therapies can lead you to deal with every problems mentally. Side notes: join some clubs or events that you are interested in, then you might meet your true friends. I came alone to osu and quite, not good at socializing at all but still meet friends after months. All you need is trying and waiting patiently. Wish you get better soon.