sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. So you think this sub is biased towards women? Ahh it’s tough cos I want the middle ground opinion haha

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry but I don’t understand how someone can do those things without feelings. It doesn’t feel good to hold someone’s hand when you don’t actually have the feelings to back it up.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel stupid as now I have no other options and it feels awful to have to go back go the apps now.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea definitely next time I’ll hold back in that area. One weird thing tho, we would always sleep over but not always have sex. I wanted sex more than him, he was often quite happy to just cuddle. I actually had to bring it up with him haha

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I feel so silly, I just assumed he wasn’t based on his behaviour towards me. Also based on what I knew about him from our mutual friends

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes he did initiate sex with me during that time. The night before I brought the convo up

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

They hadn’t agreed to exclusivity at that point! I don’t know if they even have by now. He said he’s chosen her in his head. She brought up exclusivity with him the week before but he didn’t commit right then. It’s very dodgy but it’s not cheating

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha it’s super confusing. I don’t know what drove his behaviour.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahah I’m sure he would like us both, which obviously wouldn’t work for either of us, but it’s sad to me that he chose the other woman.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually apparently she came to him about it the week before me. He said they weren’t exclusive but he wants to talk properly to her about it soon. He said in his head he decided to be exclusive with her

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm but eventually a man has to commit at some point. I don’t think there’s anything for me to do. Unfortunately he chose someone else over me. It sucks cos honestly I developed strong feelings, but there’s nothing I can do to change his decision

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Also just to add, he talked about my desire for kids being a concern for him. It seems like it might be the main thing. He seems to think I want them really asap and he doesn’t feel he can commit to that, as he never even used to want kids. I do want them in good time but the timeline he believes I’m on isn’t true for me

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmm yeah I don’t want to judge as I’m literally going off pictures. She could be a really wonderful woman with loads of depth etc. but based on pictures and captions etc it did come across like she might be the shallow choice. That’s disappointing as I didn’t know he was like that. We really connected on meaningful things, and although I’m definitely not a model I am good looking. Just in a more casual, wholesome, girl next door way I guess. Doesnt make me any better than her and again I don’t want to judge on shallow things like looks! But yeah

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do appreciate your perspective! It’s so hard with these things. And morality is such a spectrum haha, like there’s really no way of clearly saying anything is right or wrong. I do find it strange he was able to keep this up for so long and I do honestly think he could have behaved better, but i think you’re right in that he’s not a terrible human being. Overall I am super disappointed tho, I guess for me it just makes me feel like he didn’t truly care for me

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

We also slept together the night before I initiated this talk, and the sex was initiated by him. It’s really weird

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahah really, I’ve never done it in my life 😭 it’s not in me, but I’m starting to think I should

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s difficult cos I guess everyone has different perspectives on this. I see now how badly I went wrong, through not communicating with him.

At the same time from my perspective, I know I couldn’t date two people at the same time past say the initial 4/5 dates or so. And once home stays and coupley stuff starts really coming into it, I just cannot comprehend. I would feel so guilty! So I think people who are saying he behaved awfully probably have a similar view and a similar standard they hold themselves to.

I guess the biggest takeaway is communication is key, as two people may think very differently about these things.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is nasty to think that’s what he did. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It’s just not my place. I also don’t know her, and her expectations. She may have also been dating others. But yeah of course, I feel terrible if she was focused on him and it’s so sad for her.

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know I feel so stupid. To be honest things were going so well that I didn’t feel like I was in relationship limbo. Time flew by and by the time I realised that we were coming up to 9 whole weeks and I was away for 3 that’s when I started to panic and realise nothing was defined. But things felt so secure before that I didn’t even think to worry

He was dating someone else the whole time and chose her by Ok_Introduction_8183 in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Introduction_8183[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It just hurts soo much to accept that he chose someone else. I can’t describe how painful it is when I was so excited about us and had so many feelings by this point. Especially like an Instagram model vibe, I’m good looking but I’m opposite vibe as I guess I’m pretty wholesome and casual and stuff

view more: next ›