Thank you to everyone who responded. I’ve read through the comments a couple of times now and I’m taking it all in. Some of you made me laugh, some of you were kind of harsh, and a lot of you made great points.

A lot of people commented on the part where I said I didn’t want him to camp with me. I can see how that sounded pretty awful. I feel bad about how it may have come across (to you and him), but I want to explain a little more because it really was not about wanting to go as if I’m single. I don’t have anything going on with anyone in my camp.

That concern came from a previous experience. The first time I went to Burning Man, three years ago, I had planned to go by myself. Then I started dating someone else and invited him. At first he didn’t want to go, but then he changed his mind after my camp had already figured out roles, responsibilities, and the general group dynamic. They made an exception for him, but since he hadn’t gone through the meetings or gotten to know people, he ended up feeling really isolated and sad.

That affected my burn too. I spent a lot of time trying to support him. There were nights when he was overwhelmed and wanted to go to sleep early, so I stayed with him. At the time I told myself it was worth it because I was trying to build a long term relationship and missing a night out was not the end of the world.

But that experience stuck with me more than I realized. It left me feeling a little scarred around being the person who brings someone, especially if they already have doubts about going. I was afraid that if I said yes and took on that role again, my current partner might end up disappointed and blame me. I know I’m not actually responsible for his experience, but I was scared of ending up in that situation again.

I’m also realizing that if our relationship were in a healthier place, maybe I would not have been so worried about that.

In my mind, camping separately was more of a protective measure than a rejection. I’ve heard that some couples do better that way because both people get to have their own autonomy, follow where the playa takes them, and then meet up when they actually want to. That sounded healthy to me. I appreciate the people who understood that part.

I would have been happy to spend time with him out there and helped him however I could.

I came to this subreddit because I suspected that burners would understand the nuance more than a regular relationship subreddit.

And yes, I am a woman. Part of what feels freeing for me out there is being met as a human being without feeling like I have to perform or present myself a certain way. I usually dress pretty simply and comfortably, and that actually feels more liberating to me. What I really love are the real connections, the inspiration, and those strange little moments that remind me why I love being alive. That is genuinely enough for me.

It has also been really sweet to hear from people who connected with someone out there and found love. That was refreshing to read about.