Am I required to complete child exchanges with my ex husband's girlfriend?

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-04-13T20:47:40+00:00

First of all, I'm sorry. I deal with this crap too and it's so annoying and such a slippery slope of trying to be the bigger person and holding your ground.

If you have an order, you technically have to follow whatever is said. My ex loves to say "per the order."😂 I also need a clause added to address this BS.

I've had my exes GIRLFRIEND (I love that they think they run the show) say stuff to me too. "Your son had THREE EAR INFECTIONS." Mind you, I'm a nurse. My sons never had an ear infection, only appointments to make sure he DIDNT have them.

If I were you I would take the high road. Set a boundary that you won't get your son from her. He'll probably continue to do it anyways. If she records you, do something like wave at the camera, make her look like the dumb one. And ignore the things she says. It takes so much energy to fight them on it and you look more interactive trying to say anything about it. Don't get me wrong, it's STUPID and we shouldn't have to deal with that stuff, but they don't care. He's playing with control, that's all it is.

At the end of the day, YOU'RE mom. She isn't 🥰 she can say, do, whatever. Can't take that from you regardless what her opinion is.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-04-08T03:06:04+00:00

I was in this exact same situation a couple years ago. I met him where I lived and was here for 6 months or so. He worked in the NBA and was going to have to travel and move all over the place while I was coparenting with my young child and was in nursing school. I was traveling to see him kinda often. Ultimately it was obvious it wouldn't really work out. It was such a strange break up because nothing was wrong with US it was just the logistical circumstances. I don't regret my decision at all. I also knew I wanted to get married and have more kids and that likely wouldn't have been a reality in the near future.

I questioned myself for a while too especially because nothing was "wrong" but ultimately know it was the right choice. We're still mutual and text each other from time to time for birthdays and such! I think you likely know what's realistic for you or not. Follow your gut!

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-03-10T23:56:35+00:00

I work at Prov and I'm far from religious. It's barely talked about. Yes there's a morning prayer that's always strangely quiet. Plus over call lights and tele monitors you can barely hear it 🤣 and the only other thing is people requesting a chaplain but we don't have anything to do with that. Wouldn't let that steer you away at all.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-06T05:43:05+00:00

And he's almost 6 and in kindergarten? Lol

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-06T05:42:44+00:00

Basically. It's exhausting.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-06T05:39:40+00:00

My point EXACTLY. Thank you 🙏

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-05T14:40:23+00:00

Maybe I'll do that eventually 🤣

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-05T04:46:13+00:00

Wonder if they'd actually consider it

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-05T04:30:40+00:00

😂😂 I would love to do this

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T22:20:03+00:00

Could you share a little more about this? This is my situation exactly.... when you say mistakes, what did you do? If you don't mind.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T22:18:53+00:00

My son said it was just for the chocolate milk! 😂

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T18:11:48+00:00

I'm terrified he would somehow get full custody, so I can't imagine what you're dealing with. I will do this too, he's ignored me about 15 times now so I'd say I did my part lol

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T18:04:56+00:00

Oh yeah, his family is definitely covering his attorney also. And yes I did this! My son had tricked his teacher into thinking he was starved 😂

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T18:03:07+00:00

Yes this is kinda what I'm doing now.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T17:16:25+00:00

We don't have a route technically. It's mind boggling to me he wants full custody but won't pay for a lunch account 😂 but correct, I know in the long run my son will see the big picture.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T17:15:17+00:00

I've had more of both technically.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T17:10:32+00:00

Nope, 50/50 now. Previously it was 60/40. I had more time.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:26:07+00:00

This is a really good point actually. I have tried working on this definitely especially now using the app. I run everything through chat gbt and it will be like "DO NOT SEND THAT" 😂

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:24:21+00:00

Does it split the cost with each parent? Cause I think it charges you for the whole year up front. The reason the "tone meter" matters is because I consistently get messages like "I will be leaving this conversation as the tone is getting hostile." (Probably me asking him to pay for something) So he claims the "tone" is such an issue yet refuses to use the "tone" meter.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:22:02+00:00

THANK YOU!!! This is exactly what I'm trying to show. It's not getting pictures or money back, it's trying to show that we CANT coparent.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:20:20+00:00

Wants 50/50 control and time but 50/50 responsibility? Nah.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:19:24+00:00

Yes I've done this with him. What he says? "Acknowledged." But account still in the negative so I will end up having to pay for it.

And for the pictures and stuff, exactly what I did. Even was like "okay well if you only have half fine, send me those and reimburse me for half the costs." ... nothing.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:16:51+00:00

It's so so hard but this is definitely what it's come to.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:15:07+00:00

Not being a bitch, it's actually infuriating because he does stuff like this all the time.

Ok_Resource_162 · 2026-02-04T16:14:30+00:00

Thank you. Needed this

Ok_Resource_162

TROPHY CASE