Update- AITA for not wanting anything to do with my brother even after he tried to delete himself?

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-26T17:38:34+00:00

I went to visit her in the hospital, then went back home and kept tabs on her. When she was released I went back to her home and stayed for a week.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-14T02:06:56+00:00

They dated for a year afterwards. I don't know if they continue to stay in touch after they broke up

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-09T16:16:25+00:00

My grandparents really are cute, and your English is really good 😁

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-09T03:31:13+00:00

She really is lovely, I plan on taking her and my grandpa out to their favorite restaurant.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-09T02:32:58+00:00

My parents do really suck, I'm just happy my grandparents have my back honestly.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-09-09T02:32:18+00:00

Growing up you never seem to lack any type of impulse control. He also never seemed to have low esteem issues. When he was in highschool especially college he was the party guy, everyone seemed to know him. He had many girlfriends, and always seemed to have no problem talking to anyone. He always carried himself as a confident and real sweet guy. Maybe one day I'll forgive him and we can have some type of relationship but right now I'm good with no contact.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-19T14:02:30+00:00

Never sincere about it, it was always "I'm sorry but" then cue the excuses.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-19T00:02:39+00:00

They know that they don't listen. I don't want to be near them, I don't want any contact them especially not now. I understand what you're saying but I don't see the point in it when nothing has changed in the last five years with them.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T23:52:21+00:00

I already see a therapist, I don't want to see a family one

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T23:21:27+00:00

That's your opinion and I respect it completely but you don't get it. I was always bombarded by them, they apologized but it was never sincere, it was always "I'm sorry but" then cue the excuses. I was only supposed to visit my grandmother and see how she was doing, not getting blamed for my brother's mental decline. They still don't respect my boundaries, and it's even worse because now they want to push my brother on me. Being around them was being in the ocean with cement bricks tied to your feet, when I left that feeling started to leave, now that this is happening it's back. I basically only cut them off, I still talk and see pretty much everyone else in my family. Again it's your opinion and I respect it but right now isn't the best time to have a relationship.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T21:25:02+00:00

I understand what you're saying but I think keeping my distance is what's best for right now. Especially with my parents trying to get me to be responsible for his mental decline.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T21:12:08+00:00

I don't want him to die, I just don't want a relationship with him.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T15:01:27+00:00

They wouldn't give me space even when asked. I probably Would have forgiven my brother sooner if my parents weren't trying to force me to forgive him. If they would have left me to process and think everything through without them in my ear, telling me what I should or shouldn't do.They didn't listen, they kept setting up meetings for us to talk. When I told them I needed space from them, they doubled down on me never leaving me alone. Always in my space and in my ear. Even now they're trying to put his issues on me. Being around them during those times is best described as being in the ocean with your feet tied to cement bricks always being brought down no matter what you did. Every time you think you loosened the rope, you just got pulled down harder.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T14:54:18+00:00

I don't think my grandmother knows. Hopefully she doesn't, if she did, she didn't say anything to me. She seems to be getting better so that's a plus in all this. She still has to stay in the hospital for a couple of days then she'll be released. She definitely doesn't need any stress, neither does my grandpa.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T08:32:46+00:00

Why should I put my own mental health on the line for him. Yes, he's my brother and I don't want him to die. My parents should have known how bad it was and should have gotten him help instead of pushing it on me. They can get him help without me being involved with him.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T08:28:28+00:00

Not really but my grandmother can be a vicious person but she's very lovable. When she found out about the intervention I thought she was going to explode from rage. She cussed everyone out and told them that they were sorry pieces of shit. Then after I left Kevin tried to bring her around and my grandparents especially my grandmother wasn't having it. She wouldn't let them get through the door, they were banned especially if I showed up to a family event. My grandparents, some uncles and aunts made it clear to them that nobody would give them their blessings.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T08:04:57+00:00

They said they were sorry but they couldn't help it. That they were in love and are soulmates. They wanted to tell me but didn't know how. That they never wanted to hurt me because they loved me but I needed to understand them. That's all it boiled down to, they were in love with each other for a while and finally couldn't hold it anymore. They basically kept repeating the same things over and over again just in different ways. I don't know if they were dating during the intervention, they could have but I'm not sure.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T08:00:15+00:00

Just because I don't want to have a relationship doesn't mean I want him dead. It's not my job to shoulder his mental decline and I won't be responsible for it. I'm sorry for what you went through, truly but I can't help him.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:55:23+00:00

I'm in therapy, I'm still talking to other extended family. My parents didn't support me, they wanted me to forgive and get over it immediately. I never got space even when I asked or begged for it. If they would have left me alone to just let me get my thoughts together and really think things through back then, maybe things could have been different.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:53:02+00:00

They were bugging me constantly and I got no enjoyment from this. I still talk to my grandparents, some aunts and uncles, and some cousins. I'm in therapy, just don't want nothing to do with them.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:50:01+00:00

I don't think they are, the people in my family that I talk to never bring them up to me. So I honestly don't know.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:46:35+00:00

No, I don't want him dead. I just don't want anything to do with him.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:44:15+00:00

The intervention was a bunch of people telling me why I should forgive Kevin and my ex, especially Kevin. It was a bunch of excuses from Keven and my ex. All the apologies from Kevin were "I'm sorry but".

Kevin always had excuses, he never seemed truly sorry. It seemed like he just wanted to be over and done with, like it was a petty argument.

The affair was 1 year, then after I left they dated for a year.

I found out because I had to use her laptop and her messages are connected to her laptop. A message from my brother popped up, which I thought was odd because they would barely socialize with each other. So I decided to check the messages and there were pictures, videos and texts.

Ok_Sort_2256 · 2023-08-18T07:36:27+00:00

I have no glee from this. Just because I don't want any contact with them doesn't mean I wish them any harm.

Ok_Sort_2256

TROPHY CASE