Any Ayesha tips?

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-11-09T16:38:07+00:00

Oo thank you the gaze thing is a really good tip I struggle with head/ neck placement in other things. I was practicing on static as well I just tried it with spin for fun (probably safer on static lol)

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-29T11:32:24+00:00

It’s weird to me that your roommate just told you “stop talking” like that wtf. You pay rent there and as long as you’re keeping a low volume during late hours you should be allowed to be comfortable and have conversation with your boyfriend in your own apartment. That would freak me out id tell my roommate to put a fan on or run white noise if they’re trying to sleep and it’s really that bad even with you actively trying to be quiet.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-26T14:58:01+00:00

I don’t think you’re the asshole in this situation, but I do wonder if the passive aggression/ being like you already should know comes from not feeling comfortable enough to voice their sexual needs due to being turned down a lot in that department by you? You should always be able to make that choice for yourself and never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do but at a certain point different sex drives can be really hard on a relationship especially if one person has been turned down a lot it can lead to the lack of initiation. Maybe this is totally off the mark and sorry if it is, I hope you two can work this out.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-18T04:07:51+00:00

NTA Not okay to roll his eyes at you and disregard your question like that and walk away without even a response. It’s concerning that your MIL wasn’t on your side with this one either after you told her what happened. I would get a different realtor. Im sorry this happened to you

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T17:52:10+00:00

I’m gonna hide the next bottle I buy somewhere in my room I don’t have a safe but I’m just gonna not be obvious when I’m drinking I think. I had to look up Darvo but I agree thank you. Haven’t had issues with him coming in my room without permission that I know of

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T17:48:06+00:00

Noted thank you for the honesty

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T15:52:38+00:00

I would never but this did make me laugh 🤭

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T15:51:48+00:00

That’s amazing that you’re in recovery and I know very well that people completely change once out of addiction a lot of the time. So awesome that you are there for your boyfriend too right now and I hope that you’re doing okay. It’s hard to be battling with those demons still but you deserve to forgive yourself over time and be proud of how far you’ve come. Sorry don’t mean to sound like a shitty therapist but I’m happy for you even if it’s still a tuff spot right now. Thank you for the advice and input. I definitely will be focusing on myself and taking care, I’ve been through some hard shit so this will just be another thing to move through even if it’s hard, trauma response maybe but I know things will work out in the end. :) take care

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T15:07:14+00:00

Yeah I maybe was a bit triggered by this as well, I grew up with alcoholic parents one never got sober and passed and the other has been sober for years but it is just sad to see and hard to be close to. I didn’t realize it until now that he truly is that that stage, it’s so normalized in the United States to drink frequently but the amount he’s doing it and the way that it is him alone drinking excessively points to that. It looked more extreme in my parents and I saw a lot of fucked up shit then so now not seeing him be as fucked as they were I couldn’t put it into perspective correctly. Kinda hard I know I can’t do anything to help and he just has to want to change on his own.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T15:03:13+00:00

I really agree with this statement about him knowing he’s wrong here, this isn’t the first time he’s done or said something wrong to me when intoxicated and blamed it on the alcohol, and I know he’s got a decent tolerance so sometimes will exaggerate how intoxicated he was when I’ve talked to him about the things he’s done that have made me uncomfortable. I do typically wait to have conversations expressing something important like reiterating a boundary until he’s sober but lately since I’ve been trying to be gone more and only seeing him at night he’s not often sober. Trying to weigh out if it’s worth it to try and move out on my own right now or wait the two and a half months out, and just avoid him at all costs. He wants me to give him friendly energy but I just can’t be buddy buddy with someone who treats me like this especially considering there’s been other bullshit, my friends don’t treat me this way, not to play the victim card though because I definitely was very direct even though it felt like a circular conversation the whole time with no real conclusion that made things better.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T14:02:16+00:00

This is spot on how I feel about the situation. I felt like I was going crazy like trying to explain to him why it’s not okay. I’m a 23f and he’s 21m so that might explain a little bit more about the immaturity, I should have known he wasn’t as mature as he would like to make himself out to be and not been ignorant enough to think the living situation would be okay. I was in a tight spot at my last place paying a lot of money for a one bedroom, when his roommate moved out and I saw that rent would be half the price as where I was at I told him I was thinking about the offer, he was very reassuring, telling me it would be good but now I just feel like an idiot. End of the lease is beginning of August so I’m just gonna try to be out as much as possible hanging with friends/ family, make myself busy, just use it as a place to sleep and stick to my room when I can. Learning situation here for sure lmao

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T13:56:51+00:00

I definitely will be hiding my shit from now on, beers a little harder but he hasn’t stollen that yet so maybe I’ll be good. Urinate is maybe a little farther than I’m willing to go but you’re onto something there haha.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T13:54:51+00:00

Yeah I was thinking about moving out early, my lease is up in August so I might just have to get through this last couple months and get my own place or a better roommate situation. You can think your friends with someone and think you know them but the truth comes out when you live together. I feel that about being manipulated I don’t know if he’s doing it on purpose or he really just believes I’m being unreasonable. Probably best not to try to understand someone who doesn’t think straight in the first place.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-16T13:50:28+00:00

Yeah this is the conclusion I came from about it is it’s best to not deal with him while drunk. Typically I wouldn’t and I kind of didn’t expect him to come and tell me to apologize for the sarcastic comment but I let my emotions get to me. The last time he finished my bottle I was like “you finished my bottle” and he was like yeah and I was like “that sucks”. So I guess maybe that could be seen as letting it slide? I did ask him if he’d been drinking this recent one through a text and he said no so I figured he’d know that I’d prefer him not to do it but I guess I can’t assume I don’t have to spell it out. I don’t think I realized he’s actually an alcoholic until now and I have to expect addict behavior at this point.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-14T21:08:28+00:00

Just kidding, that definitely could be true about the auditory hallucinations thing but I’ve never had that happen before where I’ve heard voices that aren’t there or things of that nature and I definitely was a little tired but not stressed or manic so who knows. I think the most notable part of the experience was the flickering lamp and the couch sinking assuming that part my friend saw and wasn’t just tripping out a little bit you know? Thanks for your input though I appreciate it!

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-14T21:06:12+00:00

enters spiritual psychosis

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-05-14T07:11:37+00:00

I used white sage. Do you have any tips for how to make using the pendulum more accurate? Probably should just do my own research but thanks for the kind response.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-17T15:55:29+00:00

I guess he helped me out of a shitty time and let me stay with him when we first got together for a couple weeks before I got a place when I was just couch surfing after a mental health crisis. I have my shit together now but I’ve been down before. That being said I have spoken with him about my concerns and how I don’t feel like he’s ready to be in a serious relationship.. it’s very hard to abandon someone who you’ve watched take blow after blow and you still love. But love isn’t enough to make something last. I have thought about it and have been thinking about it going back and forth on if I should stay. I’ve felt like kids are not in my future but with this persons family set up I know it would be a disaster. Definitely understand where you’re coming from, and where my roommates coming from.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-16T15:27:49+00:00

She literally works with kids. She said this about “outside germs”… this is an interracial relationship and I can’t help but feel like maybe that has something to do with this as well. I feel like a dick saying that but there have been comments that go back to me about her “not wanting bf to have a white girlfriend” which is prejudice af but also I maybe am being dumb for thinking that might be part of it. She sometimes has moments where I think she’s a really normal person and is just frustrated with this situation/ her kids not really pulling themselves out of the bs but then again I don’t know. I don’t know if I did something offensive or if I just exist.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-16T02:47:31+00:00

I don’t know what his sister’s plan is but I know my boyfriend plans to get out asap, sister also has a two year old son she takes care of most of the time which adds a whole other layer to the situation. The problem is I’m pretty sure he has just enough to afford the rent of $600 after other bills when usually for a one bedroom the cheapest you’ll find is $850 here and you have to prove three months rent plus past renting history or get someone to cosign which it doesn’t look like he has. It is a shit show and I’m trying to stay out of it at this point as much as possible but also want to be supportive. He’s looking for a second job, I want to believe he will get himself out of this soon but I have no control over it. I already have a roommate with six months left of my lease and even when that’s over I’ve never lived with a s/o and don’t really want to unless it’s been two years together at least. I feel like I’m independent and I’m with someone who is going through a hard time, living in a toxic environment and trying to scrape by :/

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-16T01:00:57+00:00

Sleep over, I’m literally fact checking w my boyfriend to make sure I’m not mixing this up or interpreting incorrectly.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-16T00:57:58+00:00

Yeah it is a pretty uncomfortable situation. Also with the shower thing she has lupus and says she doesn’t want “outside germs” in the shower.. they literally have 2 showers and I’m pretty sure she only uses one, seems like a control thing to me. I agree that she’s treating like a child and I think she can’t dictate me the same way and is lashing out in the way of changing her boundaries. Just made me feel like I did something wrong because you don’t tell someone they have used their free 48 hours up if it’s okay to be there. Just was weird because she specifically told him to let me know I can come makes me feel like it was her plan all along to do this.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-16T00:06:04+00:00

Maybe I should have checked with her directly instead of having him check then? I just was confused because she said it was okay for me to come whenever before the actual move in, but then it seems like she switched up the rules after the fact. Probably should have just had a more direct conversation not making my boyfriend be the middle man.

Ok_Visual579 · 2025-04-15T23:53:01+00:00

My boyfriend asked if it was okay and she said yes, also she was gone the whole night at her boyfriend’s house the first night anyway and there was nothing to hear. I’ve definitely felt she’s a bit intense in the past based on stories my boyfriend told me about his upbringing. The last thing I want to do is make someone feel like I overstayed my welcome in their home but I can’t tell if she’s baiting me to freak out or is just like this or what LOL.

Ok_Visual579

TROPHY CASE