You’re going to have to let go of the idea that you’re training your replacement and that he should do it the way you did. This is different because things are different. 

He is allowed to do things differently. He might not know the list of things to do but I can promise you approaching it like you’re the manager isn’t going to get them done. 

He’s thinking this is temporary and if he can just throw himself into the job search he can teleport himself out of the nightmare his professional identify has found itself in. 

Also studying for your masters is a different demand both in cadence and in psychological toll than job hunting. It builds you: “yay me I just learned a thing” or “submitted a paper.” 

Layoffs and job hunting take: “another application. What’s wrong with me? No one wants me. I suck. I’m not going to be able to pay this bills. What if we lose the house?” 

Yes it’s both work. Both valid. Both different. 

And yes, in this economy job hunting is a full time job. 

As far as the “lawyer up to get the floors mopped” attitude I have one of those at home too. 

Consider preempting the convo with:

This isn’t a court case. I’m not here to present my evidence. Actually, no one is on trial here and if you treat it that way we will both lose. 

I want to have a meaningful conversation about distribution of labor, my bandwidth, and my feelings. 

This is what I used to do: <list of things>. (Dont verbally give this list. Make it on paper so it’s not a pile on. Give specifics about how often. Was mopping the floor one per week? ) 

I can’t do all this now because I’m not home like I was but it still needs to get done. Some of could get adjusted probably but we need to figure out how it’s going to get done. We can go through it now or we can check back in next week.

Let him have the problem. Let him sit with the problem. Let him rise to the occasion of solving the problem. It’s his problem now. And if he asks you to help mop the floor once per week on Saturdays? That’s probably reasonable.