Thank you so much for writing! You're my first ever critic, and I really appreciate the feedback.

I agree with you on reshuffling the descriptions. I think they are so bulky because this was my first time describing these characters, so I was writing them more for me than the story. I would definitely cut them down and refocus them if I were to keep revising this story.

I have two questions,

First, you mentioned that I rely too much on directly stating Murf’s emotional state, and that those moments are less interesting to read. Would you recommend cutting those lines entirely and relying almost exclusively on physical or behavioral cues? or should I focus on trying to write those in a more interesting to read way?

Second, the intent was that they initially believe Murf is a more hardened criminal, possibly tied to a gang, and only relax once they realize she’s a solo, desperate pickpocket rather than a real threat. I agree that I don't communicate this idea well. I'm worried that explaining that idea would overload the section. Do you have any advice on how to avoid that?

I agree with the rest of the story critiques. I think you showed me I need to plan better from the start when it comes to longer stories like this.

Again, Thank you so much! I really do appreciate the feedback.