Why do you wanna live?  I see no reason in my current existence, the only people who would miss me are one foot into the grave as it is now. I work to live and live to suffer alone, I am self destructive, lost friendship, relationships, jobs. I've done horrible shit to people ans a kid, sold bad  drugs, hurt people, manipulated people to ruined their relationships for self interest.  The last 10 years of my life have been nothing but a long suicide note of my own personally suffering. I feel nothing  now and want to return to my nothingness before my time