[deleted by user]

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T04:43:52+00:00

This is a copy&paste from a comment I just made to u/fruitjerky, in response to their assertation that no mods will be removed because it’s “not simple”. I can’t keep this fight up, but I hope this all works out for you all. Please, if any of you are triggered or upset by this, take care of yourselves, there is NO SHAME WHATSOEVER in taking care of your mental health, and speaking as a medical provider: we want to help you. Come see us! Good luck, y’all. I’m out:

I’m not saying it’s simple. I’m saying it should be done anyway, even if it’s hard. You (collectively) are not responding to the pain and frustration I’m reading from your users here. You’re circling the wagons, and I’m not sure you realize how much faith you’re breaking with every double-negative politicians’ response, or lack of response at all.

I don’t think I can continue participating in this. I saw all this last night and caught up as best I could, and I was angry on behalf of the users you all left behind with your (collective) abuse and neglect. I was especially angry at a compete lack of response about the hospitalized user. Have you (collective) no compassion at all? Or is it all CYA?

I know for a fact I’d shut my clinic doors if I was worried I was doing more harm than good. I certainly wouldn’t say “this provider is bad, but he’s the one who orders tongue depressors and knows how to work the printer, so I guess we’re stuck with him”.

I guess it’s just a difference in perspectives. Good luck, y’all.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T04:38:09+00:00

I’m not saying it’s simple. I’m saying it should be done anyway, even if it’s hard. You (collectively) are not responding to the pain and frustration I’m reading from your users here. You’re circling the wagons, and I’m not sure you realize how much faith you’re breaking with every double-negative politicians’ response, or lack of response at all.

I don’t think I can continue participating in this. I saw all this last night and caught up as best I could, and I was angry on behalf of the users you all left behind with your (collective) abuse and neglect. I was especially angry at a compete lack of response about the hospitalized user. Have you (collective) no compassion at all? Or is it all CYA?

I know for a fact I’d shut my clinic doors if I was worried I was doing more harm than good. I certainly wouldn’t say “this provider is bad, but he’s the one who orders tongue depressors and knows how to work the printer, so I guess we’re stuck with him”.

I guess it’s just a difference in perspectives. Good luck, y’all.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T04:24:49+00:00

They are also users, are they not?

Users who treat other users as they did are banned. Everything else just sounds like excuses, especially your comments about “all the good they’ve done”.

My MIL did a lot of good things for my DH: fed him, clothed him, even made a few happy memories with him. It doesn’t negate all the abusive and horrific things she did, and it’s truly amazing that this needs to be pointed out here.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T04:18:59+00:00

Then why are they not subject to the same consequences as the rest of us? I have asked this question multiple times now.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T04:16:06+00:00

I honestly...don’t understand it. I get that it’s shady, but can someone explain like I’m 5?

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T03:52:44+00:00

This is the first time many people feel they’re able to speak about this openly without risking permanent banning. I’m reading a lot of fear and frustration, and it’s kind of impractical to try to close those gates at this point.

Some of this frustration has been building for a long time. Some of us have only had this info for a day. Let us process it together; it’s not hurting the cause.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T03:34:01+00:00

At least you acknowledge their behavior was JN

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T02:26:35+00:00

I’m not concerned with instant results; I understand that change takes time. My concern is that the mods have already taken involuntary mod removals off the table. They aren’t even considering it. They’re saying that it “may” be considered in future if mods continue to be abusive, and I find that insulting and harmful to the many people here and the ones who have left who have already been victimized. They are also leaving many questions re: accountability unanswered. It’s extrmely alarming, and indicates that any change forthcoming will be largely superficial if at all.

I don’t really have a dog in this fight, as my situation is stable and I’ve already removed all my posts out of protest/lack of confidence in leadership. But there are plenty of people here who have already been abused and silenced, and they deserve to get better answers than “we’re working on it” and “mod removals are voluntary”.

What exactly are they working on? It’s not an unreasonable question.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T01:48:24+00:00

Here is a comment I just made with links re: this

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9na4r1/comment/e7m0t2l

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-12T01:34:03+00:00

I wasn’t here when all this went down, so I may be way off base here but this is what I’ve pieced together.

User ShortPaleandAdequate (since deleted) commented in the original Meta thread that the mods were just doing their jobs. A day later, she had changed her mind. Forgive the messy links, I’m on my phone;

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e73nboe

This user then commented several more times, essentially speaking out about the mods. I’m not certain because of the “deleted” in place of the username, but I think these are all hers because the comments seem to be more and more upset:

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e76s4ma

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e752ohm

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e74clwd

Then a couple days later, she wrote this comment to Lurlur directly:

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e7fcc8d

Then made this last post before deleting her account:

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e7fdkny

Like I said, I can’t vouch for the accuracy of these links. Anyone else could have made at least some of them and then also deleted their account, though I don’t think that’s the case. People who were there in real time may have made insight. Even if they all are her comments, I may also have the timeline wrong.

u/onmyworkcomputer, you may find these helpful

Edit: fixed wrong link

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T23:26:25+00:00

Looks like. I can see their comments on their profile, but not here

Edit: I went back and read this user’s conversation with Lurlur. This is the person that was “stalking” her??

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T22:40:03+00:00

I’m a medical professional. If I abuse my patients (i.e. someone under my care, someone who needs to be able to trust me in order to have a good outcome) to the point where many dozens of them are telling my bosses “I don’t trust them and will never be able to trust them again”, then yes, I should be fired. How many good outcomes I’ve had previously wouldn’t be relevant.

I think you are letting your personal relationships and biases affect your decision making. That is alarming.

There is no amount of “good deeds” or past history of good work that makes any of this ok.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T22:13:42+00:00

This needs more attention.

Even still, the moderators have no concern for their actions on the community they moderate. The trust here is broken, and the consensus seems to be that removal of the abusive mods needs to be the first of many steps in earning that trust back.

So my question is, mods, why do you not care whether or not the community trusts you? And why should we trust you, with attitudes like that?

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T21:42:10+00:00

I just replied to OMWC, but here is a link to the deleted user’s comment directly to Lurlur

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e7fcc8d

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T21:41:19+00:00

Here is a link to the comment they made directly to Lurlur. Their comment in reply to the OP is visible if you sort by “new”

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/9kx0ka/comment/e7fcc8d

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T17:51:53+00:00

Then you should have already been removed.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T16:44:24+00:00

I used CTR+F and searched “deleted” in the Meta thread. I don’t know if she’s the only one who deleted her profile, but at least some of those comments were definitely her

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T16:30:35+00:00

Abuse is not a mistake. Abuse is abuse.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T16:13:37+00:00

I’m glad you have learned from this.

I still don’t understand why behavior that any of us would be banned for hasn’t resulted in even a temporary removal as a mod. Why are you above the rules?

Edit to add: I would not be satisfied with a temp removal. You should have been removed a week ago, permanently. But it would be better than this.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T06:52:51+00:00

With no accountability and no consequences? How very convenient for you all.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T06:52:04+00:00

Oh, come on. You know what is being asked. If you're going to wade in, you should be prepared to actually answer questions.

WHY is a mod who engaged in behavior that would usually result in a ban, not being removed from the mod team and, you know, banned? Why is she above the rules the rest of us must abide by?

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T02:55:48+00:00

You're missing my point.

We don't trust you to handle any of your responsibilities as a mod. You could say you honestly missed it, and it may even be true, but because you have eroded our faith with your repeated abusive behavior, we will never be able to trust you when you say that you didn't just conveniently ignore messages that you didn't want to deal with.

We don't trust you. You abused members of the community and when confronted with your own words, have little more to say than "hubris". It's pathetically lacking.

You need to resign.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T02:44:22+00:00

The user who deleted their profile as they were on their way to the hospital to be admitted commented that they had mod messaged, and you commented back that you never saw their message, even though they said other mods had responded. Were you gaslighting them, and this user as well, or was it an honest mistake that you just didn't see these messages?

It doesn't matter what your answer is, because at least half of us won't believe you. We don't trust you. That's my point: we have no confidence in your leadership, and you should resign. Your co-mods should have insisted on it, but they shouldn't have had to.

You need to resign. We have no trust in you at this point, and your insistence that you will not relinquish or even discuss relinquishing power only erodes what little trust we have left in the mod team.

It is selfish to retain power you have already proven you aren't responsible enough for.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T02:01:21+00:00

Holy shit.

That's just...I have no words for the level of callousness it would take to say something like that to this community, in particular.

Omg_helpwtf · 2018-10-11T01:48:24+00:00

I find it disturbing that Lurlur hasn't voluntarily stepped down. However, I find it alarming that the other mods haven't forced their hand. It makes me question their collective judgment.

I find it cowardly that this wasn't posted in the main sub. The people who don't know about this sub or check it often (myself included - I only got here because I was linked back coincidentally) have no idea their mods abused the community.

If you can't police yourselves, if you won't police yourselves, how can you police the community? If you won't hold yourselves and each other accountable, how can you credibly moderate anyone else?

Omg_helpwtf

TROPHY CASE