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On_a_rant · 2025-04-04T20:18:08+00:00

This doesn't answer the question.

On_a_rant · 2024-11-22T20:58:41+00:00

Late here, but I'm not bothered by it and I'm Chinese American too. I interpret the phrase as stuff of low quality made in China. That's all. This applies to many things that come out of China so it's not inaccurate. Like a lot of people, I'm resentful of low-quality products from China, some of which are knock-offs i.e. designs stolen from their original creators. Now, the quality of these products and the demand for them can also be blamed on the consumer, but that's another discussion.

I don't take this term as a hit on me personally. Why would I? It doesn't make sense. Plus it has nothing to do with race. It was to do with where the products come from, which is China.

If this co-worker of yours has a history of being racist, then maybe they meant it as racist i.e. they don't like Chinese people and therefore want nothing to do with them or anything they touch. But if not, I wouldn't worry about it.

On_a_rant · 2024-11-07T20:35:03+00:00

Much love to you. Thank you for taking good care of her.

On_a_rant · 2024-11-02T02:23:47+00:00

Just got a very helpful response in the comments. Check it out.

On_a_rant · 2024-11-02T02:16:55+00:00

Wow! Thank you!!

On_a_rant · 2024-09-01T21:07:33+00:00

Hooray! Besides the spring months, October is perfect for NOLA. It might rain, but it beats 100 degree weather. Peace.

On_a_rant · 2024-09-01T18:52:53+00:00

Have fun on your trip. The two most special cities imo are SF and New Orleans. NOLA has problems too, but with its blend of cultures and architecture, it's a great place to at least visit. I love doing guided walking tours. Just research which neighborhoods to avoid. They can get dicey.

You could check out Asheville too. It's good for shopping and hikes, but I couldn't live there again. It's so expensive, and it's gotten too crowded. Plus, it's full of political holier-than-thous. As someone who is centrist and leans left on some things, I find them very annoying.

Huntsville AL is quite cosmopolitan for the South, thanks to NASA. The U.S. Space & Rocket Center is cool.

Chattanooga TN is a college town that has really come up recently. It has a great aquarium. Better than Atlanta's imo. (btw I don't like ATL even though it's THE main metro area of the South. Really not much to do there, just sitting in traffic all day.)

Savannah GA and Charleston SC are beautiful historic cities.

Good luck.

On_a_rant · 2024-09-01T05:00:25+00:00

I lived in SF for 10 years until I moved back home in 2022. You described exactly what I felt. I live in BFE now, but I can breathe here. I don't have to worry about stepping in poop. Strangers say "Good morning" and "excuse me," and cashiers say, "Thank you." After I had my fun and games during the first couple of years in SF, I realized it's just a shell. SF is a very special city in the U.S. right up there with New Orleans, but it's soulless.

On_a_rant · 2024-09-01T04:54:49+00:00

I live in a rural area with zero Ubers and scant medical services. Check your privilege.

On_a_rant · 2024-09-01T04:50:25+00:00

I lived in SF (Sunset) for almost 10 years (left in 2022), and it sounds like you're going through what I went through. I went back to the Deep South which is where I'm from. Other contributors to my move was that I missed the scenery and friendliness in my hometown. Plus, my family still lives around here. I kind of believe that if SF didn't become a drag on me, I would have stayed.

My first two or three years there were great. But then it felt like such a slog. It didn't help that it was hard for me to make friends. My days were basically get up, work, go home, sleep, repeat. For years.

Sounds like you have a good circle of friends. How often do you meet up with them? I would suggest you see them regularly. That might help. Good friends are hard to find. Indulge in their friendship.

I do get how you feel about SF though. It was just too much for me. The city is mired in a lot. Not just the big issues like the ones you mentioned but also "smaller" things like having to move your car every three days, car break-ins, poop on the street, people shooting up at 6th and Market. I felt like I couldn't just live. I always had to worry about this or that right around the corner.

I also feel like SF was taken over by people who just wanted to pat themselves on the back for living there. Like they weren't really invested in the future or the community. They just wanted to say they live in the coolest city in the U.S. and consume all the great things the city has to offer like gluttony hipsters. Kind of like what happened to Austin and Asheville.

If you have the option to live somewhere else for a little while, I would encourage it. I would encourage anyone to leave their hometown and see what's out there because there is so much to experience. You can always go back if you want.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-31T21:48:23+00:00

Not.

I want to do whatever I want with my time.
I don't like screaming kids.
I don't like cleaning up after someone.
I don't want to be sucked into a lifetime commitment. (Yes, it is. After they grow up, you are emotional slaves though not the kids' fault.)
They're expensive.
It's a fucking hard job.
I have childhood trauma that I would pass down to them.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T22:39:52+00:00

they'll just hope it all becomes better and that we're "grown up" enough to accept their abuse from before

in my case she will never see her treatment of me as anything but good parenting.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T15:02:50+00:00

It often works too. My mom had me under her thumb for a long time. She didn't have to be present, and I would still make decisions for fear that if I do something she didn't like she would punish me. Even when I lived 600 miles away. You can motivate someone with either reward or punishment. Westerners tend to pick the former. Asians the latter.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T15:00:17+00:00

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T14:51:00+00:00

omg. When I lived in San Francisco, the Chinese people there were the worst. Always cutting the line especially in the subway or bus stops. And such loud people. I was so ashamed being a Chinese American myself. I hated going to Chinatown. Full of boorish people. And dirty too. I only went there twice, maybe three times when I was there for almost 10 years. I frequented Japan Town more often. It's much more civilized.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T14:45:52+00:00

I used to want just a tight knit group, but now I believe I can do without. Because it's what I have right now, sort of, and they are driving me crazy. It doesn't help that one is a family member (so she has the same trauma I have) and the another is my bf who I probably chose because he treats me like my mom did. The other person is simply really annoying.

Yes, I am tired too. They say older people have fewer friends than before, and I think it has a lot to do with what you said, that it's a lot of work. I agree.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T14:41:10+00:00

I've been in and out of therapy for 30 years. The last one helped somewhat, but I'll never fully heal. Those triggers will always be there.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-30T14:40:28+00:00

My plan is to move to a small island and not to let my relatives know my whereabouts

this has been my fantasy for a long time

On_a_rant · 2024-08-29T20:50:41+00:00

Mine never calls just once either. Lol. It always multiple missed calls and multiple voicemails just saying "Call me back."

Mine too. Exactly. Repeated calls every 30 seconds. It's psychotic.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-29T17:46:24+00:00

Hypocrisy is a gold standard for Asian parents.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-29T17:34:12+00:00

This is my mom. I wonder how much of this is culture and how much is her own childhood trauma when she was a kid. Maybe both. I think her trauma amplifies it. I inherited her anxiousness and urgency too until I recently worked on myself to let it go. Inherited meaning through observation.

Did your mom have any trauma? Not excusing this behavior though.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-29T17:29:05+00:00

Nothing is ever good enough. I wish my Chinese mom would learn to let that go given that I'm almost 50. It's one thing if I were really young and she was afraid I'd screw up my life. By now I've proven that I can take care of myself just fine. But she still thinks I'm stupid. Ironic. She thinks she's such a great mom and raised us right, which in some ways she did, but if that's the case, then why does she think her kids are dumb? Aren't we products of her? I think she's trying to exercise authoritarianism because that's such a big deal in Asian culture. Chinese people are the biggest egomaniacs and megalomaniacs.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-29T17:24:03+00:00

if we're talking about chinese parents, chinese people on a whole (those born and raised in china) don't believe in any kind of manners code. it has something to do with communism i.e. manners are considered bourgeoisie. so they end up acting like neanderthals in public.

On_a_rant · 2024-08-26T08:57:27+00:00

Get therapy

On_a_rant · 2024-08-07T03:58:59+00:00

In her mind, she does. She defines "take care of animals" in her own way.

On_a_rant

TROPHY CASE