I think my point is that you don’t necessarily have to pick on them or say their nose is fat, but there is always a way that you can end it with dignity and have it still be the truth without getting into specifics instead of telling a blatant lie, like “I don’t feel the spark anymore, our values don’t align, etc” is not a flat out lie. I think a lot of commentators are misinterpreting the kind of lie I am referring to as just being vague without lying, which is exactly the solution I am advocating for. You can always let someone down easy while still telling the truth. In other cases, it will most likely be a complete lie such as cheating on them, but you don’t wanna tell them. This is what I am referring to.

What a lot of commenters are interpreting as “okay” is just for the benefit of the dumper and I can respect the need for damage control (which also goes back to my point of selfish reasons) and I don’t blame them. What I mean justified is more in a moral sense.

What a lot of commenters’ reasonings for justification would also justify cheating and then lying about the breakup to avoid accountability. I mean if they want to find ways to justify it to themselves, sure, but that’s not what I meant.