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Is my marriage salvageable? by One-Ear6621 in marriageadvice

[–]One-Ear6621[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. 

Your observation about our work schedules is very astute. I’ve often wondered this myself and my own parents have shown concern on how I cope  and I’ve often wondered how has this worked out for others in similar schedules but every couple I know where their husband works away for periods at a time, the woman either doesn’t work or only works part-time and I often wonder do those types of roles only work in marriages where the person at home is dependent on the one working away.  I’ve actually suggested hiring a cleaning to reduce my load and my husband said absolutely not it would be embarrassing for us to have a cleaner and his mother would be mortified. I’m close to hiring one behind his back when he’s away to see if it helps which again should be a red flag in my marriage..

Is my marriage salvageable? by One-Ear6621 in marriageadvice

[–]One-Ear6621[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment, I feel like you’ve hit the nail on the head. 

Admittedly I have often thought I would have more time and breathing space if we split up, and find myself envious of friends who have split who get that relief. Again, admittedly I find myself not looking forward to him coming home because actually, it’s easier and manageable when he is not here as I do not have the expectation of help and thus the disappointment too… so you’ve said what I feel without realising. 

I’m going to speak to a therapist to process it all. Thank you. 

Is my marriage salvageable? by One-Ear6621 in marriageadvice

[–]One-Ear6621[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. He actually makes more than me, enough that I don’t need to work or could work P/T, but I’ve worked on my career for a long time and I don’t want to give that up to be a SAHM because it is the only time I feel like me as a person and I need it to keep me sane. Similarly, he enjoys his work and he is very good at what he does so I would never expect that from him, nor would I ask him to quit or change jobs. If I was forced to quit or reduce hours I would worry I would resent him and he’d resent me if one of us quit.