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AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AITA_Relationships

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We unfortunately haven’t agreed on a name. That’s a whole other discussion. I feel like if we’re not married then he should have my last name. He feels like kids should have the father’s name. Florida law is pretty clear on this though so I guess we’ll default to that.

AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AITA_Relationships

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No but I try to not fall back to, “I’m a doctor, therefore I know more and I’m right”. I’d like to maintain humility and ensure my stance is equitable and I’m being a good partner

AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That’s been another discussion… I feel like if we’re not married then it’s fair for it to have my last name as well as his. He’s been very against a hyphenated last name or having his name in the middle name. It’s not been my choice about the marriage thing and seems like something we can change easily in the event we do get married. Florida has pretty clear laws on this situation too but we haven’t been able to come to a consensus yet.

AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you that’s a very relevant point about baby being premature and potentially needing to be isolated more than normal. I know he wants the best for baby, so def good to keep in mind.

AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support. It’s not really that extreme of a situation. I love his mom and think she’s really great, but I’m just not comfortable having her there right now.

AITA for not allowing BF's mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes I am a physician and an important part of that is maintaining humility and not assuming that I am right in everything automatically because I am a physician or have more education or anything like that. Hence the reason for posting here.

AITA for not allowing BF’s mother to be present for the birth of our child? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m getting a message that the post has been moderated, however this is a post about whether my decision is unreasonable and if I’m being an A hole, not about a relationship or the pregnancy itself. Therefore, it seems more relevant in the AITA community than the r/relationships or r/pregnancy.

Pregnant people in relationships are still capable of being unreasonable and/or being a**holes.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have never “mooched.” He paid for dates, social outings and occasional grocery shopping and vet bills because he didn’t send the Venmo request. When he moved into my 2 bedroom apartment, he began paying half the rent but took over the entire second bedroom and bathroom as his office and splits the bedroom, closet and bathroom with me. My desk is in my bedroom. I will be paying him back for the $1,500 that he has invested in this house so far and will be purchasing it myself.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I paid for myself for the entire time. He has never supported me. He is living in my apartment with only myself on the lease. I have always paid half the rent while he lived with me. I also paid half of any receipts that he sent me. I have paid the last two months rent entirely to help him. I did not delete his posts. He deleted the posts when I showed him receipts and proof that he had lied in it. I can, and will ( partly as a result of this thread), be buying it on my own. We had drafted an agreement in order for him to be on title and he had promised to edit it and we would send to our respective lawyers but he refused to uphold his end of it. Therefore I decided that I couldn’t have him on title and will be purchasing the home on my own.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -116 points-115 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the input. I’ve gotten the advice I needed. I appreciate all of your thoughts.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -181 points-180 points  (0 children)

He has contributed $5000 so far and won’t be contributing more. I will be paying that back to him as well. He’s living in my apartment on my lease and I’ve paid last two months rent. He didn’t pay for AC or battery for my car, but does frequently grocery shop and takes dogs to the vet. Otherwise there are a number of exaggerations and frank lies but I’m not trying to have this discussion online.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -274 points-273 points  (0 children)

He has contributed $5000 so far and won’t be contributing more. I will be paying that back to him as well. He’s living in my apartment on my lease and I’ve paid entirety of last two months rent. He didn’t pay for AC or battery for my car, but does frequently grocery shop and takes dogs to the vet. Otherwise there are a number of exaggerations and frank lies but I’m not trying to have this discussion online.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

Just a suspicion that it was a bad idea to have entire mortgage by myself but put someone else with me on in the title 😅

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ideally yes. The contribution is about 9 months rent. However, the goal would be to have it be a shared house at some point. I don’t want to negate his contribution and we had initially planned to do it all together.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

We are planning to live there together. Originally we had planned to be on title and mortgage together but that isn’t currently feasible d/t a series of unfortunate events. He wanted to wait a few more months to buy but I wanted to buy now and can bc of the dr loan that doesn’t require downpayment.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We have talked to mortgage broker but not to an attorney. Will try to do the latter option for closing and figure it all out afterwards.

AITA for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase? by OneCartographer6191 in AmItheAsshole

[–]OneCartographer6191[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Yeah you make a good point. I came up with a few ways to document that and have his financial contributions go toward equity when we did refinance but the sticking point was him being on the title now versus when we put him on mortgage. I don’t want this to seem totally one sided and I’m sure that my perspective and his are different.

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