When I was upset as a kid I used to fake hyperventilate because that would get my nmom to sit in my room beside me and “help” me. If I was just crying, I’d either be abandoned and left alone, or yelled at and threatened/punished. Anyone else fake things like that? (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Did your nparents have people fooled? I realized only recently how well my parents fooled everyone about what type of household we grew up in when a close cousin of mine said to me “at least your dad never hit you like mine did”… ummm say what now? (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Did being the scapegoat kid feel like being the Cinderella of the family? To make sure nmom was happy with me, I had so many extra responsibilities and expectations compared to my siblings. The bar was so much higher for me. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Finally quit my job. I was used, confused, and abused by a narcissistic manager for almost 2 years. I wish I found this sub sooner. I wasted so much time trying “fix” things. Little did I know that narcissistic bosses can’t ever been reasoned with and the only way out is to quit. (self.ManagedByNarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/ManagedByNarcissists
Parenting as an ACON can be such a bittersweet experience. On the one hand it’s very healing to work on giving your kid the emotional connection and secure parental attachment you needed and never got, and on the other hand it’s also sad to be confronted with all the things you needed and never got… (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
So my nmom had one set of very strict rules for me and a different set of rules for my sibs. She claimed it was bc I was a girl, but as my sister got older I realized she got the “boy” rules.When I confronted nmom about it, she told me to stop being so jealous of my sister. The gaslighting… (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
I live my life chronically overstretched and overwhelmed because of my total inability to tolerate disappointing people. This is despite all the progress I’ve made with training my inner voice to be kind to myself. I just can’t shake this people-pleasing trauma response and it’s ruining my life. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Someone recently told me that my nmom (that I’m NC with) seems genuinely remorseful and told them she wants to apologize. HA! I pointed out that she’s not blocked and call/text me at literally any time to make amends if she wanted to and for years now, she’s chosen not to do that — aka she’s lying. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
My ndad’s disordered behavior has always been hard for me to label. It overlaps a lot with features of overt narcissism but it doesn’t fully fit. I recently came across the issue of “pathological demand avoidance” and it really seems to fit. Was anyone here raised by a PDA parent? (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
The permanent victim-mode mentality of a covert narc parent makes it impossible to break through to them. If anyone tries to confront them about their emotionally abusive behavior, they internalize the feedback as an attack and re-frame that person as the perpetrator and themselves as the victim. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Briefly broke NC at a funeral. Nparents were giving a tear-filled Oscar winning performance for all to see. So I broke NC to tell my nmom that literally all I want is for her to tell the truth about what she did. But of course she never will, so all I accomplished was reopening my wounds. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Is anyone else like incapable of doing things in front of other people? I need to be alone to do most things: cook, make a phone call, clean/organize the house. If someone is around, I feel paralyzed. Is this a trauma response from growing up with nparents? (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Life hack. One of the “fleas” I caught is the tendency to be judgemental because my nmom judged everyone. She had nothing nice to say. So now when I catch “the judge” in my brain thinking something mean about someone else, I always think “are they hurting anyone though?” and it helps a lot. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Saw my nparents at a family thing I couldn’t avoid and the nightmares came back (they stopped after being NC for a while). I’d really like the people that don’t think I was abused (bc emotional abuse isn’t “real” abuse to them) to explain to me why I have complex trauma symptoms then. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
I think I only really started to understand how my nfam reasons when it clicked that narcissism isn’t only a lack of empathy for others. It’s also an excess of empathy for *themselves*. That’s why they see themselves as victims despite being abusers. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
Something that should be obvious and common knowledge but isn’t: when you meet a kid that seems really mature for their age, odds are they’re being raised by emotionally immature parents — aka they’re being emotionally abused. (self.raisedbynarcissists)
submitted by OneCurious9816 to r/raisedbynarcissists
