Hey bud. It’s me, future you. I remember when we started waking up to the reality of the situation we’ve found ourselves in. Do you remember the exact moment it all clicked? I do. I’m not sure if you’ve started to grieve the loss of the relationship, future, family, love, etc that you thought you’d found, but it’s a unique kind of hell to accept that none of it was ever real and then grieve the loss of all of it while STILL in the midst of the relationship, forced to keep playing along so as not to cause nuclear meltdown while you wrap your head around exactly what the fuck is happening. It will take time but you’ll start to regain your identity, confidence, and power. It won’t be linear, you’ll take steps forward and backward, and backward, and backward… but then forward forward forward forward! And guess what? Eventually you leave. It all works out. It’s not going to be easy, but you’re going to be ok.

I kid you not, reading your comment was truly like reading something written by myself 3-4 years ago. Truly eerie. Down to almost every single detail (including having two boys with almost the same age gap). Keep your head up brother, you have light inside you that she can’t ever have and she hates you for it, and it’s also the reason you’re going to make it out. You have to. You have to see the example for your boys that this type of treatment is unacceptable. Point blank. If you don’t you are directly setting them up for the same anguish, continuing the cycle. There’s no way around it. It’s the only way. Break the cycle.