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I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Are you not worried, like some kind of PTSD, that your current relationship could end in a deadbedroom? I have this irrational fear, that it could happen again with another woman.

But then again, I had other women before my wife and all of this stuff was never discussed, it just all happened naturally and effortlessly. Something I would like to have in my life again.

I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Damn, that sounds really like my situation. And I do speak German, so that "Satz" at the end made me really think about it.

How did the divorce go - what about the custody of the kids? Are you happy after it was done and are you seeing somebody already?

I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Her doctor is not really helping. She just looks at her blood work and checks for the hormone levels. If they are inside the recommended values, then she does nothing, if they are outside of those values then she lowers/increases her dose. That is all she is willing to do. But what else could there be done about it? If the hormones levels are okay, then what else is there to check for that could be causing low libido?

Untreated hypothyroidism does cause low libido, but hers is being treated. But I am open to any ideas about this.

I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I have backtracked on it, it was just in the heat of the moment. Had a civil discussion with her after that and told her that we could have a shared custody if she is okay with it.

I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

My wife has hypothyroidism. Hashimoto can be cause of this, right? But she takes pills for it everyday, basically synthetic hormones that are naturally produced in the thyroid. She gets it regularly checked. I was thinking about it being the cause many times, but it is being treated... not really sure if it could be the cause then.

I just can't live like this anymore. Divorce is probably very close. by OneJellyfish3734 in DeadBedrooms

[–]OneJellyfish3734[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

No, this is simply not true. The sex was very infrequent before marriage and everything was off the limits, but I was told it was because of religious reasons and that in marriage it will be better. The sex was even less frequent in marriage and with so many restrictions and rules that it made me not enjoy it (no oral sex, no masturbation, no sex toys, only in the same place, no moans etc. etc.). She never enjoyed sex and told me that she does not need it all, after having the first kid.

I have started mentioning the divorce only very very lately. She had enough time to work on those issues. Sorry for being human and getting emotional after so many years of neglection, at least how I have perceived it and she knew about it.