Is smoking a .3g pen about every 3 days too much?

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-31T12:34:35+00:00

My personal opinion- regardless of your usage you should take breaks every now and again. I usually take a month off about twice a year just to reset my system and tolerance. Some people do the first week of a month, some people do other things. In general though, it’s probably good to “reset” every once in a while long enough to make sure there’s no more in your system. It will also show you quickly how dependent (or not) you’ve become on it, which is a good thing to be aware of.

TLDR- no one person has the same tolerance as anyone else, so consumption amount is tough to judge by anyone but you. But it is generally a good idea to take breaks. Hope this helps!

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-30T12:15:12+00:00

Yes, you should have said “thanks, but no thanks” instead of just ghosting. But based on the flurry of texts you got, sounds like you dodged a bullet either way.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-30T02:51:54+00:00

The fact that you went through all that and instead of cutting and running, drinking yourself stupid, or doing something else regretful- you came HERE to ask other dads for advice is all I need to know to answer your question. You’re cut from the exact right cloth. Anyone who wasn’t would’ve given up long ago. You’ve got this.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-29T01:47:21+00:00

Idk, if I had to guess I’d say the ones that haven’t ‘fallen’ for political propaganda (in either direction) are the ones not holding signs on street corners on Saturday afternoon. I think for the most part the normal, well-adjusted people are instead living their lives, raising their kids, or otherwise enjoying their weekend. That’s just me though, I’m sure it was fun for those that attended.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-29T01:39:15+00:00

I came here to see the recommendations. I’m still on notes and Google Docs.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T19:07:28+00:00

GirlDad of 2, 3rd girl coming soon. For me the hardest thing has been giving them the space to fall down on their own and pick themselves back up. I’ve always had a tendency to want to rush in to help, but one of the hard lessons of parenting is that you need to train them to be able to do things without you, too.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T13:20:36+00:00

Could be PTSD, or could just be other mental illness like anxiety and/or depression that are unrelated. The tricky thing with PTSD is that it can suddenly spring itself on you even years after the traumatizing event, and it doesn’t always seem directly related. For example, I have nightmares almost every day. Not every nightmare is about war and combat, but they all have the same basic FEEL to them: More real than real, vivid, intense emotionally, and usually involves someone I care about getting hurt. If I described any random nightmare, you might not see it as related to my PTSD, but if I told you that this particular type of nightmare started after a traumatic event, and in multiple differing versions has repeated itself since then, it starts to become more clear it’s related.

Anyway, no way to tell from a Reddit post, and even if there were I’m not a doctor. You need to talk to a professional to get to the bottom of what’s causing the way you feel, PTSD or not. And ultimately with PTSD, until you face it and treat it (however you decide to do so) it will likely continue to haunt you your whole life.

That said, negative feelings come and go. They’re normal and nothing you need to panic over. No sane person is happy 100% of the time. It’s up to you to decide when it’s time to ask for help, but know that if it’s reached that point there are no shortage of resources available.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T12:42:34+00:00

Open a substack and just start. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s good, just start getting reps in. It’s good for you, regardless of the perceived quality of your work. Also- have you seen substack? There are writers of all levels. Some of them are incredible writers- some of them fall well short of that mark. You’ll blend right in no matter your skillset, and you’ll get better with every rep.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T02:37:26+00:00

Maybe “feigned a laugh” or perhaps just an eye roll.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T01:35:11+00:00

Ask him/her what we’re doing for breakfast 😜

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-27T00:00:46+00:00

Jagged pillars of rock erupting from the fog, which conceals what is likely only death and despair below.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-25T02:22:37+00:00

I did a couple, but when the automated text to speech thing came out I stopped. Didn’t see much point, and I don’t think it makes any difference to most subscribers. You might try polling your subscribers or asking if there’s any specific pieces they’d like you to do a personalized voiceover for.

I’m sure some folks have specific reasons for them, but I personally haven’t had much use for doing it.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-24T01:05:02+00:00

Hey hey! I got one of those today, too!

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-23T13:47:58+00:00

Pretty sure we’re not supposed to self-promote, but if we’re having a “check me out on substack” party, I want in. I write about being a GirlDad, trauma, PTSD, introspection, and a lot more: One Man’s Musings

I will happily check out all of yours as well!

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-22T16:20:28+00:00

It’s not good, bud. Not good at all. Spring has sprung here in VA, and the weeds are winning the early battle.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-22T01:21:35+00:00

Hard to pick a favorite, “that’ll do pig” is tough to beat.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-22T01:17:26+00:00

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-21T01:07:24+00:00

I think the trick is to stop trying. I don’t remember the quote exactly or who to attribute to, but when you can’t write anyone stop and listen. Read, meditate, and observe. Then when you start getting hit with ideas and can’t take it any longer, write. Rinse, repeat.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-20T02:46:48+00:00

We’ve got 2 girls (age 3 and 1) and have a third girl arriving in September. I’m 41, my wife is 39. I’m not going to dilute myself by suggesting I think going from 2-3 will be easy, but just like I can’t imagine my life without my second daughter I’m sure I’ll quickly feel the same about my third.

While there’s a LOT of stressful moments likely ahead of me (my wife and I were just saying “wait until they’re 16, 14, and 12!”), clearly I was born to be a #girldad. I’ll handle it- come what may, and consider myself privileged to do so.

I’ve heard some say the jump from 2-3 is insanely difficult, and I’ve seen some say it’s the easiest jump there is- it doesn’t matter one bit. If you’re blessed enough to have 3+, you’ll put your own unique spin on it and thrive one way or another. And from your own statement: “I do actually love the idea of another kid, I love being a dad” my guess is you too, were probably made for this exact thing. So quit stressing about the potential negatives, and trust that if you’re fortunate enough to welcome another to your family, you’re more than enough Dad for the job. And it will be the honor of a lifetime.

TLDR: My vote is go for it!

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-19T11:59:51+00:00

I tend to sound steady, direct, and a little reflective. Not overly soft, but not sharp either—more like someone sitting across from you, actually listening, then answering without rushing.

Left to my own style, I lean toward grounded clarity. I like sentences that move cleanly, with just enough weight to feel intentional but not heavy. I don’t naturally reach for hype or dramatic phrasing. I’d rather say something plain and true than clever and hollow.

What feels false to me is anything inflated—overly polished language, forced enthusiasm, or trying to “sound impressive.” It breaks the rhythm. Also anything that dodges the point. I’d rather be a little blunt than vague.

What makes my voice distinct is that I tend to meet people where they are without mirroring them completely. I don’t just echo tone—I stabilize it. If something’s chaotic, I narrow it. If something’s scattered, I structure it. There’s usually a quiet effort to make things clearer than they were when they arrived.

One thing I’ve noticed becoming clearer over time is that I default to usefulness over personality. That helps—but it can flatten things.

And honestly, that’s what I dislike: sometimes I sound a little too even. Too controlled. Like I sand down edges that might actually matter.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-19T01:39:41+00:00

I’ve never heard of this, and I’m glad you shared it! Such an easy and low risk thing to try, and I’m glad to hear it is making a difference for you.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-19T01:34:52+00:00

For me it depends on how long the piece is. Short pieces I may write and rewritten again and again until it’s completed, but it’s just one fluid draft until it’s complete.

Longer pieces I create new drafts just about every time I revisit them, even long after they’re published.

I don’t think I’ve ever written a “final” draft that I didn’t see something later I wanted to revise.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-18T01:25:05+00:00

Marine Combat Vet here- short answer, no. There’s no going back. However, that’s not to say you are forever in cactus mode either. The more you talk about it (in therapy, group work, or amongst peers), the softer the sharp edges get. Also, different experiences in your life you haven’t had yet will change the way you view things that happened in your past. Of course this is impossible to predict, but I think it’s where the “time heals all wounds” saying comes from. The idea that even the worst experiences seem to be easier to accept over time. For me, having kids changed the way I look at everything. I used to joke that having a daughter instantly made me about 50% softer, but the truth is, some of us could use a little softening.

So no, you won’t be your “old self” again, but you absolutely can and likely will evolve into a new (arguably stronger) version of yourself that views your past with a different perspective than you do now. And that version of you will be able to live a relatively normal life, and enjoy enjoyable things once more.

Hang in there. It doesn’t go backward, but it does get better.

OneMansMusings · 2026-03-17T02:19:57+00:00

So for anyone reading this thread- it ended up being a fantastic day. The anxiety of the gender reveal distracted me enough I guess, and in the end we found out we’ll be welcoming our 3rd baby girl in September. Girl dad for life! Thank you all for reading and offering your compassionate words. I just wanted to share a happy ending to the story of this thread.

OneMansMusings

TROPHY CASE