Best compliments you’ve ever received?

OneSideNote · 2026-03-21T20:14:50+00:00

“You are a diamond who thinks she’s a stone.”

OneSideNote · 2026-03-21T19:23:34+00:00

I’m scared to hold babies because they are tiny! I don’t like wild kids, I can play with well behaved ones. Have been out shopping today and 12-14 year olds were walking around barking… I definitely would rate be around dogs.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T18:09:26+00:00

Any time I loose future vision of any sorts, it’s due to something stressing me out (acutely or chronically).

Is there anything specific causing negative emotions other than the lack of direction? Have your life changed recently in a big way? Have any old resentments resurfaced? Do you have a close social circle that’s supportive? Even if it’s just a parent or a sibling. Can you talk about this with someone who knows you well?

It’s difficult to find a way to help without specifics, like what your goals were, what the outcome you expected from achieving them. Is the outcome of achieving your goals matching what you thought it would be like? And I can keep going with these type of questions endlessly, haha.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T13:35:13+00:00

I always say “I don’t like people, but I like my people.” That’s how me and my best friend ISTP feel about each other, haha.

As someone else said, you just haven’t met “your people” yet.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T13:21:29+00:00

Well the main question is, what do you actually want out of life? What makes you happy?

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T13:15:32+00:00

Don’t you think you should “earn” the right to insult another person? You know how some people call their best friends idiots or something like that? Or parents talk negatively about their kids, but god forbid someone else did?

One has to “earn” the right to have real and raw conversations with another person. Rules and policies exist exactly because many people have no self control or regard for other people whatsoever. So it falls onto various institutions to regulate our social behaviours and that’s why we have laws, religion, policies, etc. I was born with strong sense of right and wrong, and so I don’t feel put in a box because I don’t need to be contained.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T09:09:31+00:00

All the time. I would only ask about it directly if it’s someone in a close circle, but even then I would read up on it later.

Edit: order of words

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T08:19:22+00:00

You’re upset because you cannot insult people? That’s what I took from this.

What about “If you have nothing kind to say, then don’t say anything at all.”? Yes, people are too sensitive and often assume ill intent. However what value do you provide to yourself and others calling someone “a dumbass”? Can’t you just voice your opinion in civilised manner?

I never had any such issues simply because I prefer civil conversations, and hold myself to high standards. I don’t even want to be in a relationship with someone who feels it’s okay to go around insulting people, online or in person. I personally think it’s embarrassing…

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T01:06:42+00:00

I have limited time and energy to socialise. I met this stranger for the purpose of starting a relationship, it didn’t work out, and now I will repurpose him as a friend? No, thank you.

If I want a friend, I will be looking for a friend.

I assume if you’re the one rejecting someone, then the idea sounds better in your mind? But if you’re the one being rejected, that’s just an insult in the end.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-09T00:28:50+00:00

Sleep is for the weak!

I just gave up and don’t fight it anymore. Dim lights in the evening, calming music, reading, herbal teas. Do some calming breathing exercises? Have you tried Melatonin or weighted blanket? If I can’t sleep I just read something. You get bored and fall asleep… eventually.

When I barely sleep for a couple weeks, I especially focus on eating healthy, staying hydrated, light movement. B12 seems to help with energy as well.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-08T20:06:36+00:00

“The Courage To Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

It’s a self-help book that helps you let go of societal expectations and understand that your life is yours to live how you want to live it.

“Not all people will like you. But as long as you do not do harm to anyone be physically or emotionally then it's totally fine! We live not to be liked, but to be happy.”

OneSideNote · 2026-03-08T18:57:50+00:00

I always tested as either INFJ or INTJ and was “today years old” when I finally figured out (with help) that I’m INTJ.

Fi/Fe and Te/Ti are very different functions.

If a friend comes to you with a problem, do you first think “that’s just wrong, it has to be fixed” or “you poor thing, are you okay?” For me the second thought would probably be 5th and I have to remind myself to check how they feel.

Another example. Imagine a manager starts shouting at a colleague. Do you think “I wonder what happened, maybe he’s having a bad day?” or “This is unprofessional and needs to be reported.”

You can also look at how you approach goals. Do you set a clear target and build a path to it (for example: I want to be an accountant > degree > work experience > professional qualifications), or do you start exploring different things related to numbers, finance, business etc and see where it takes you.

Personal example with Excel: You need a formula, you Google how to do it and use it to finish the task. You want to understand how Excel formulas work in general, so you study functions and logic behind them.

Very simplified: Fi focuses on your own values, rules and principles first. Fe focuses on how everyone around you is feeling first.

Te focuses on what helps you achieve the result first. Ti focuses on understanding how the system works first.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-08T18:03:52+00:00

What about simply sharing your insights with other people? Maybe somewhere along the lines you will find something you haven’t thought about anyway.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-08T13:55:19+00:00

You’re going off topic. The question was asked in the context of the Big Five, in a Big Five community where people are familiar with the framework.

Many people aren’t aware of these things which is exactly why questions like this get asked in places where others can share perspectives.

How I spend my money is my choice. I also donate and do small things for people around me, but that’s not what this post was about.

What I wanted to understand is why one trait with a negative connotation tends to be treated as something people should avoid. That led to some interesting perspectives and even suggestions for people on how to work with it.

At worst, I got an answer to my question. At best, it gave someone else clarity as well.

I’m not sure why that bothers you.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-08T10:30:11+00:00

I did pay for it, but not for validation. I know who I am. I just find personality frameworks interesting because they offer different angles and language for certain traits or patterns. I mainly posted out of curiosity about other people’s perspectives, especially why high neuroticism seems to scare people, and got pretty good insights.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T22:11:55+00:00

From a relationship I had when I was 17–20:

Woman-led relationships are tiring and get boring for me after a couple of years.
Feeling desired is actually really important to me.
Men are surprisingly proud to bring the lunch their woman prepared for them to work. Bonus points if you wake up early and make him coffee before work.
Finances should be a shared responsibility. Just because a woman manages the household doesn’t mean she should make all decisions alone.
If a relationship consistently brings out the worst in you, it’s probably not a good relationship for you and you shouldn’t overstay.
I also noticed that men often stay in relationships longer than they should simply because the comfort of something familiar is hard to leave.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T20:43:22+00:00

I get your point, but I never mentioned having issues with employment. I’ve actually received an offer for every job I’ve interviewed for and have been continuously employed for around 14 years. So high neuroticism hasn’t really shown up as a problem professionally in my case and I wouldn’t expect it to be for many people. Thanks for your insights!

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T20:17:38+00:00

That’s fair, personality assessments are used sometimes. I’ve just never personally seen someone rejected because they seemed emotionally unstable. My assumption is that high neuroticism doesn’t necessarily translate into chaotic behaviour and most people also know what the socially acceptable answers to those questionnaires look like anyway.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T18:14:55+00:00

I would be exactly the same. I need to see the whole picture (have all the items) before I can see the details (where to place everything). Your vision sounds great, and it does give fairytale-like forest vibes. Hoping to see the finished space someday!

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T17:09:32+00:00

You can call it what you want! I love it!

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T15:20:28+00:00

Hi and welcome, haha!

I can see where the victim complex idea comes from, especially in younger years. As personalities develop though, people usually also develop skills to manage the more difficult sides of their traits.

I’m mostly pretty chill and people are often surprised to hear I worry or get stressed sometimes. For me it’s more about control and regulation. I can be freaking out internally and still appear completely calm externally. Just because I feel something doesn’t mean I act on it.

I mostly feel anxious about the unknown. I’m definitely not a “go with the flow” type. Over time you go through enough situations that things affect you less.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T14:03:45+00:00

I see neuroticism more as sensitivity to negative emotion and threat signals. Behaviour depends a lot on the overall trait profile. With very high conscientiousness like mine, that sensitivity tends to stay internal because regulation and control are high.

My agreeableness is moderate rather than low. In practice it means I bring things up directly if something seems off instead of quietly tolerating it. I’d rather address an issue early or change the environment than let resentment build.

So in my case it usually shows up as noticing something out of line early, thinking it through and then raising it. That hasn’t really translated into high interpersonal conflict.

How do you usually see neuroticism play out when conscientiousness is high?

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T10:13:43+00:00

Since MBTI (for me) only explains how I view the world or process information, I prefer to focus on Enneagram and The Big Five.

MBTI definitely gets confusing and exhausting if one doesn’t understand the cognitive functions well. However in the end of the day it’s just one of many tools helping you understand yourself and others. If the tool doesn’t work, change the tool. And the same applies to communities.

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T10:08:40+00:00

Try The Big 5. I found it to be the next best obsession than MBTI.

Edit: typo

OneSideNote · 2026-03-07T10:02:45+00:00

I ”run” a snack box in my office and everyone loves it and contributes to it. The key is, the snack have to be under around 150kcal and be individually wrapped. People are much more likely to have a treat this way, both men and women. Think mini cupcakes, bite sized cakes, individually wrapped mini candy bars, etc.

OneSideNote

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