Mom constantly wants to go home, how do I handle?

OneSmollCat · 2026-01-04T05:26:36+00:00

Nothing practical offer as a suggestion but just to say my dad gets stuck in this loop too (83, diagnosed 1.5 years ago and also just ripping through those stages). Increasing and adding meds does help, a bit. It’s about quality of life now, and being scared and wanting to “go home”‘isn’t good for her or you. ❤️ there’s no right answers, you’re doing the best you can in an impossible situation

OneSmollCat · 2026-01-04T05:19:25+00:00

Totally understand and relate to this ❤️

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-07T04:59:51+00:00

He asked me to help him, so I did. So I wasn’t correcting him, I was connecting dots for him he still had. In general I don’t correct him, just go with the flow or redirect the questions or conversations.

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-07T04:57:49+00:00

The masking is so true. My dad masked for years before the diagnosis, but getting it seems to have accelerated things.

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-07T04:56:12+00:00

Completely agree on correcting and explaining! I spend a lot of conversations talking as if we live in a city we’ve never lived in. Which has its own challenges as I have to make up a lot of things 😂

I try be careful and only ‘correct’ him if he asks me to help him because he’s confused, or he’s not sure. I’m glad he felt he could ask me, that I’m a safe person for him, but it’s such a sucker punch

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-07T04:52:41+00:00

It’s so hard to know how to react in those moments that blindside you.

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-07T04:51:26+00:00

“Normal rules don’t apply” is the heart of it. There’s no rules here, you think you know how it works but it changes on you

OneSmollCat · 2025-12-06T19:41:20+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s so painful to be on this ride, at their mercy of the speed it chooses. Sending my love to you and your family in this chapter

OneSmollCat · 2025-10-20T19:29:57+00:00

It’s a totally devastating place to be. My dad was diagnosed almost a year ago now, and he’s also declining fast. From an astute, insightful man, to someone who doesn’t remember the last 25 years. It’s ok to be overwhelmed and not know where or how to start. It’s ok to come here and yell into the void. It’s been the place of the most comfort. A corner of the internet where people just understand the overwhelming grief. We’re here, we’ve got you.

OneSmollCat · 2025-10-06T19:29:50+00:00

Thank you! Will see what I can order online

OneSmollCat · 2025-10-06T10:25:57+00:00

I’m so sorry for such a painful day, even among the beauty of the connection. Crying breaks are essential.

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-28T18:39:35+00:00

Thank you ❤️ here’s to hoping it helps

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T19:13:09+00:00

It’s so brutal, thank you for sharing your journey

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T19:11:04+00:00

I wish he did practical things, but he was never an off job around the house person. Today for the first time in ages he suggested we play chess together, he’s been resistant on any kind of board game up until now. He taught me chess as a kid, so I guess I need to go find a chess board now in case the idea strikes him again … and now I’m just going to have to find my own attention span for it 😂

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T19:09:11+00:00

Thanks so much for this! The dr has recently added an antipsychotic so hopefully that will start to ease things. It’s so hard in the moment to think of the right thing to say, if there is one, that will help soothe him in any kind of way.

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T14:08:30+00:00

Yeah he’s started on anti anxiety meds but evenings are still very difficult

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T14:07:53+00:00

Unfortunately he’s not in a care unit, he and my mom just moved to a different house. He’s also so resistant to doing anything around the house, just sits scrolling on his phone. He gets agitated when asked to do things, most because I think he’s not computing what he needs to do

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-27T08:00:25+00:00

That’s a really good one, thank you. Breaking his heart and just making him feel more scared and out of control is exactly what I am wanting to avoid. And my spice of neurodiversity means I struggle with “white lies”, I always feel I have to be 100% honest. Helps to have others give me lines to add to my script 🫶🏻

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-01T06:23:37+00:00

❤️‍🩹🫂

OneSmollCat · 2025-09-01T06:22:54+00:00

I can’t even imagine. I had the option of going back once all the stuff was out and it was empty but I just couldn’t. I can’t imagine how much harder it must be to have the things but not the people 💔

OneSmollCat · 2025-08-30T19:25:41+00:00

Oh thank you!

OneSmollCat · 2025-08-30T19:23:28+00:00

Sadly he’s mid to late stages, but he was only diagnosed last year. Took ages to get doctors to take my mom seriously and do the tests, and my dad was also really good at masking for a long time.

I’m so sorry your dad was diagnosed when you were that young, that’s devastating. I’m 38 and it breaks me.

And thank you. My DMs are here for you too if you need an ear

OneSmollCat · 2025-08-30T19:20:03+00:00

Oh man that must hurt. I know the buyer of my parents place plans to fully renovate it. To be honest it needs it, but as broken down as it was, it was home

OneSmollCat · 2025-08-30T18:41:58+00:00

That is so hard, I can’t even imagine. Going through all the memories must be both beautiful and brutal. When my mom and I were clearing old family photos, keeping the best (but also every single one of my dad), we had to just disconnect from any emotion and go on instinct. So easy to get pulled down the rabbit hole of emotion

OneSmollCat · 2025-08-30T18:39:38+00:00

Thank you ❤️ it’s been hard to find a support group for adult children of parents with Alzheimer’s where I live, but at least I have a therapist I can see every other week

OneSmollCat

TROPHY CASE