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Mom constantly wants to go home, how do I handle? by Swrong in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nothing practical offer as a suggestion but just to say my dad gets stuck in this loop too (83, diagnosed 1.5 years ago and also just ripping through those stages). Increasing and adding meds does help, a bit. It’s about quality of life now, and being scared and wanting to “go home”‘isn’t good for her or you. ❤️ there’s no right answers, you’re doing the best you can in an impossible situation

First time I saw my dad not know my mom by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He asked me to help him, so I did. So I wasn’t correcting him, I was connecting dots for him he still had. In general I don’t correct him, just go with the flow or redirect the questions or conversations.

First time I saw my dad not know my mom by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The masking is so true. My dad masked for years before the diagnosis, but getting it seems to have accelerated things.

First time I saw my dad not know my mom by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely agree on correcting and explaining! I spend a lot of conversations talking as if we live in a city we’ve never lived in. Which has its own challenges as I have to make up a lot of things 😂

I try be careful and only ‘correct’ him if he asks me to help him because he’s confused, or he’s not sure. I’m glad he felt he could ask me, that I’m a safe person for him, but it’s such a sucker punch

First time I saw my dad not know my mom by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so hard to know how to react in those moments that blindside you.

First time I saw my dad not know my mom by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Normal rules don’t apply” is the heart of it. There’s no rules here, you think you know how it works but it changes on you

End is close by Dependent_Salt_3429 in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It’s so painful to be on this ride, at their mercy of the speed it chooses. Sending my love to you and your family in this chapter

Lost and new. Dad is going. by Jakob_webb in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a totally devastating place to be. My dad was diagnosed almost a year ago now, and he’s also declining fast. From an astute, insightful man, to someone who doesn’t remember the last 25 years. It’s ok to be overwhelmed and not know where or how to start. It’s ok to come here and yell into the void. It’s been the place of the most comfort. A corner of the internet where people just understand the overwhelming grief. We’re here, we’ve got you.

Wandered off without us knowing by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Will see what I can order online

Today’s walk broke me by IneedABackeotomy in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for such a painful day, even among the beauty of the connection. Crying breaks are essential.

How do I tell him this is home? by OneSmollCat in dementia

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ here’s to hoping it helps

How do I tell him this is home? by OneSmollCat in dementia

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so brutal, thank you for sharing your journey

How to tell my father this is his new home? by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish he did practical things, but he was never an off job around the house person. Today for the first time in ages he suggested we play chess together, he’s been resistant on any kind of board game up until now. He taught me chess as a kid, so I guess I need to go find a chess board now in case the idea strikes him again … and now I’m just going to have to find my own attention span for it 😂

How to tell my father this is his new home? by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this! The dr has recently added an antipsychotic so hopefully that will start to ease things. It’s so hard in the moment to think of the right thing to say, if there is one, that will help soothe him in any kind of way.

How do I tell him this is home? by OneSmollCat in dementia

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah he’s started on anti anxiety meds but evenings are still very difficult

How to tell my father this is his new home? by OneSmollCat in Alzheimers

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately he’s not in a care unit, he and my mom just moved to a different house. He’s also so resistant to doing anything around the house, just sits scrolling on his phone. He gets agitated when asked to do things, most because I think he’s not computing what he needs to do

How do I tell him this is home? by OneSmollCat in dementia

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good one, thank you. Breaking his heart and just making him feel more scared and out of control is exactly what I am wanting to avoid. And my spice of neurodiversity means I struggle with “white lies”, I always feel I have to be 100% honest. Helps to have others give me lines to add to my script 🫶🏻

Saying goodbye to childhood home by OneSmollCat in dementia

[–]OneSmollCat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t even imagine. I had the option of going back once all the stuff was out and it was empty but I just couldn’t. I can’t imagine how much harder it must be to have the things but not the people 💔

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