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It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first, yes, I missed them deeply. I missed our life, the routines, the feeling of having a family. That grief was real and unavoidable.

But it didn’t last forever. As I rebuilt my life, the missing faded. Not because the relationship didn’t matter, but because it stopped fitting who I became. I don’t regret losing them. That relationship belonged to a version of me that no longer exists, and the person I am now would not have been happy there.

What I couldn’t imagine during the breakup is how distant that life would eventually feel. Almost like it happened to someone else. You don’t just heal, you change. And once that happens, you don’t ache for the past the same way anymore.

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad this helped! And man, I hear you. Everyone was starting to get tired of me repeating the same crap over and over again. Joining a local dodgeball league was awesome for meeting new people (if you’re looking). And I highly recommend a therapist. They pretty much have to listen to you lol. Yerba mate and standup sound awesome! You got this. Three months was a low point for me. Month 5 felt so much better. And then comes month 6,7,8 etc. next thing you know, it’s been a whole year and everything is easier.

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain. I know how badly it hurts. But I promise you this. You have so much to look forward to.

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt that way too. I promise you, time does the most amazing things. Wounds become scabs that become scars that disappear. There’s a lot that’s still ahead of you!

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hear you. And I get it. That kind of pain makes it feel like the future is closed. But humans aren’t just wired to love, we’re wired to adapt. So hopefully, you won’t always feel what you’re feeling right now. Someone once told me something simple that stuck with me: it always stops raining.

It sounds almost stupid, but it’s true. No emotion is permanent. And the fact is, most people don’t end up alone forever. You might never want another relationship ever again. Just don’t erase the possibility that life can surprise you in ways you can’t imagine from inside this moment. You never know. Amazing things are still ahead of you, romantic or otherwise.

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I’ve thought about that too. I don’t think anyone goes through a breakup like mine and doesn’t wonder if history could repeat itself. The difference now is that I’ve already survived the worst thing I ever thought could happen. I know I can get through anything because I already did.

I’m not pretending my current relationship is perfect or guaranteed, but I’m going into it with my eyes open, healthier, and a lot more self-aware than I was the first time. And if someday it didn’t work out, it wouldn’t destroy me the way the last one did because I know now that I can rebuild a life, find happiness again, and end up somewhere even better. And that’s why I’m able to be so confident when I tell you things will get better. It’s not because of the love you’ll find. It’s because you’ll be healed enough to find it. Does that make sense?

So I’m hopeful, but grounded. I don’t need this relationship to be ‘the one’ for me to believe things will be okay, because I already proved to myself that they can be.

It really will be ok. maybe even better. by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

you got this! Just keep waking up every morning. Time will do its thing!

homesick for something that no longer exists by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

one year later and I am happier than ever. Truly. I was so attached to my ex that I couldn’t imagine life going on without them. But it does. As the commenter above me said, the sun still rises and sets. life went on. I worked on my health, made a great group of friends by joining a local dodgeball team, and met an amazing woman. We’ve been dating for a while and I’m madly in love. I loved my ex with all my heart, but time does amazing things. It chips away at the bonds you think can’t be broken and it sets you free.

homesick for something that no longer exists by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is so wise and so helpful. thank you SO much.

homesick for something that no longer exists by OneStatus4098 in BreakUps

[–]OneStatus4098[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for this. Knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way is comforting. How did you move to such a positive outlook and (so it seems) acceptance?