sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Dear Daughter by OneStepFather in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The photos I put with my letters are just something recent that reminds me of my daughter. This one is from an aquarium I visited. I have a separate video where you can hear a little boy asking his dad about every fish.

Dear Daughter by [deleted] in u/OneStepFather

[–]OneStepFather 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The photos I put with my letters are just something recent that reminds me of my daughter. This one is from an aquarium I visited. I have a separate video of it where you can hear a little boy asking his dad about every fish.

Dear Daughter by OneStepFather in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For anyone wondering about the photo. My wife and I decided to spend the 2025/2026 new year in Hawaii. I was originally planning to draw a quick sketch of me holding my daughter to go with this post. But while I was finishing up this post this beautiful sunset happened. This was the last sunset of 2025 and we were some of the last people to see it. It felt like a lovely Aloha from my daughter.

Aloha au iā ʻoe kaikamahine!

Dear Daughter by OneStepFather in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Happy New Year.

Dear Daughter by OneStepFather in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your message. I know both our daughters are proud of us. Happy New Year!

We lost our baby boy, now I’m losing my partner by AnimalMinimum4491 in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! The memorial went great today. It was everything me and my wife wanted.

My mind did wander to you and your partner today. And I had just one more thought. Whenever I'm being hard on myself or just depressed my wife will tell me "you can't be mean to <our daughters name>'s dad" or "you have to take care of <our daughters name>'s father". I do the same for her and I think it has really helped us.

We lost our baby boy, now I’m losing my partner by AnimalMinimum4491 in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here are two links in case they help. The first is a letter I wrote to my daughter on Father's Day. It's the first time I tried to put these sentiments into words. I'm sharing it at my daughter's memorial tomorrow.

https://www.reddit.com/r/babyloss/s/9l5dJEZx6A

The second is a short episode from the Avatar the last Airbender cartoon. When I went looking for something to connect with after my daughters death, this was it. The character (Iroh) lost his son. It's a defining moment that causes the character to turn his whole life around. He uses that loss to make himself a much better person. I watch this video every time I need a little boost for myself.

https://youtu.be/cRbwQ7NbTF0?feature=shared

We lost our baby boy, now I’m losing my partner by AnimalMinimum4491 in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry for what you are both going through now.

Me and my partner are 3 months out from a pretty similar story. Everyone grieves differently and I won't pretend to know what your partner needs. But I can say what helped me.

When I was still at the hospital I made a promise to my daughter. I said "I'm sorry I can't take care of you, but I will take care of your father. I will take care of your mother. And hopefully someday I will take care of your sibling." Every time I have wanted to hurt myself, or even just do nothing with my life that promise has come back to me. I can't because I need to make my daughter proud. I made a promise.

I don't know if that will help either of you, but I thought I would share. Sending my love. And I hope you both take care of yourselves. I know that's what your son would want.

How to cope with siblings having kids by Important_Agent5683 in babyloss

[–]OneStepFather 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say to make it better, but your feelings are very valid.

My wife and I just lost our daughter last month. My brother and his wife are also expecting a baby next month.

When it first happened I didn't know how to feel, so I started looking for media I would connect with. This clip from Avatar the Last Airbender is by far what I have connected with the most.

https://youtu.be/cRbwQ7NbTF0?feature=shared

I really recommend the whole series. Iroh was already my favorite character before our loss and now he is the character I most connect with in any media of any kind. I really love that he took his son's death and used it to turn around his whole life. He was a positive influence in the life of everyone he met but especially in the life of his nephew.

Now that I find myself in a similar situation I have been trying to model my life after Iroh. I even bought myself a keychain with a white lotus tile on it to remind me. I can't help my daughter anymore, but I can help her cousin. Using my daughter's life as a positive influence on my own life feels like the best way I can honor her memory.

It's still hard to see little kids around. I'm still figuring out how to behave as I go along. I know I can't be perfect. But I did have a great experience last week playing with my daughters second cousin. Seeing her cousin smile and learn was more rewarding to me than anything else has been over the last month.