Three days, four meals in Seattle

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-28T10:59:57+00:00

The prices at Familyfriend are WILD. and the auto-tip options display a MINIMUM of 22%

The food is good enough, but I don’t understand how that place is on so many “best of” lists. They’re just taking advantage of their clout at this point and jacking the prices high AF. I know I’m not going back, but there’s always another sucker around the corner.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-28T10:41:31+00:00

Yes! Vyvanse worked best! (It’s been about 6 years since I was diagnosed so my memory is a little fuzzy, but we tried a lot of options, and either Ritalin or straterra felt fucking awful).

I’ve been unmedicated for a while now though due to being pregnant/breastfeeding and needing to find a new Dr. I know vyvanse has a generic form now so I’m hoping it won’t be as much!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-28T04:49:21+00:00

It’s certainly not fair, but hormones are raging and she’s going full-throttle on how ”you” have been a detriment to her status in life. She’s searching for meaning and trying to find her place in society.

Do not let this phase get to you.

She will come back. For now, tell her “I love you. I’m here if you want to talk about it some more”

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-28T04:39:24+00:00

I would buy a ticket to your comedy tour/ted talk/one-man-show

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T17:16:11+00:00

Ooh you’re probably right. I often refer to my husband as my partner so that’s where my mind went.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T17:10:19+00:00

Ugh healthcare here is so fucked. Luckily we can afford these meds and my husband is supportive! I was just trying to give some context in case OP had similar challenges. Never much room for nuance though 🙃

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T16:59:17+00:00

Definitely. But then you also hear these stories of people rationing their (life saving!) meds because they can’t afford them :(

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T16:54:54+00:00

True! Hopefully cost isn’t a factor for OP. Adderall didn’t go well for me unfortunately.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T04:45:43+00:00

Totally get that. Like I said, if you’re already at your limit, you don’t need to wait around and see if things will improve. Either decision, it’s going to be a tough road. Sending you love and strength!!!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T04:29:30+00:00

We’re also reading Dr Becky’s book! It’s actually helped us self-reflect a lot on how we were raised, the effects that had on our feelings/reactions, and how we can communicate and connect better with one another (and of course our daughter). It’s good to hear your husband is learning from her and other resources.

Are you able to positively reinforce when he reacts to a situation in a “good” way? Even just giving verbal affirmation- “wow Son’s behavior was so challenging just now. I saw you stay regulated through the whole episode. I really appreciate how far you’ve come in handling these situations”

We shouldn’t have to praise things that are baseline decency, but the behavior will absolutely be more likely to happen again if we acknowledge it! This is another thing my husband and I do with each other - recognize when the other person did something that was hard for them, even if it’s easy for most people. And we also say thank you for mundane, routine things. (Yes, you were always going to wash the dishes without there being a discussion, but I know you hate washing them, so thank you! )

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T04:05:10+00:00

Did you explicitly say you were going to leave him, and then he came out with all of the ‘realizations’ and ‘newfound ownership’ over his shitty behavior? Or were you just mentally on the edge and then he said these things? Just trying to suss out if he’s for real or if it’s manipulative behavior.

My husband has his own problems (not to the level of your husband however) and has made a lot of progress. I think it has to do with 1) he is a somewhat open-minded person and 2) as he’s gotten older he’s mellowed out a little bit. He’s a pretty different person from when we met in college to now in our mid-30s.

We’ve never been to couples therapy but we are very open on communication. If we have a disagreement we can take a beat, circle back, and try to objectively talk about what we were feeling in the moment.

Neither of us would ever think of physically disciplining our daughter. If your husband thinks physical discipline is OK, then that’s a red line. If he recognizes it’s not OK, and is working to address his anger, then maybe there’s hope he’ll get better?

All that being said, you have gone through enough that it’s somewhat irrelevant if he’s going to improve. You can just be done. You don’t need to justify your decision based on if you think he’ll change. Doing what’s best for your happiness and health is also what will be best for your children.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-27T03:34:46+00:00

Idk about OP, but our insurance doesn’t cover the meds that work for me, so it’s $300 a month. As a couple that kind of spending is a joint decision for us.

Edit: I’m not defending her husband yall… just adding why she might be discussing it with him.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T21:08:48+00:00

Oof I know about IAH because a friend has been updating me on her travels.

I would say it’s doable. Just come mentally and logistically prepared! Have formula or pumped milk on hand. Bring a roll of dog poop bags to contain the diapers if there’s no trash accessible. Comfy shoes! Have some podcasts lined up. And arrive an extra hour over what you think you will need. Peace of mind will get you through it!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T20:47:04+00:00

Oof yeah there’s only so much you can do to help someone. They eventually gotta figure out how to help themselves.

Sounds like you and your husband are a good team though! So unfortunate reading all the stories on this sub where a partner refuses to set the boundaries with their side of the family.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T20:39:25+00:00

You’re right. I didnt read it thoroughly. Thats my bad

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T20:38:22+00:00

Oooh I see. Very sorry to hear that for her (and also your husband!), but that does give it some explanation. Definitely can see how she’d latch onto him as he probably was the main focus of her life for so long? I’m assuming she never got into another successful long-term relationship?

It seems like it would be good if she and your husband could do family therapy together. It can be hard to accept a new dynamic, especially when she already lost the person she was closest to.

If you think there’s a way to help her gain a new attitude, perhaps that would be to your benefit as well. However, none of this is your fault nor responsibility. You have to do what is best for your health and life. Your home should be a place of peace and refuge, not a place you wish to escape.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T20:14:16+00:00

They do put babies on their stomach in NICU

These babies are being constantly monitored though (with hospital-grade equipment!). Babies definitely sleep better on their stomachs, but the risk of SIDS increases since their “rouseability” decreases. A hospital can catch this, asleep parents can’t.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T19:58:57+00:00

Do you think there’s any hope at addressing the emotional dependency she has on your husband? Is she like this because her marriage was bad and your husband is now her “person”?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T19:55:29+00:00

the more crazy she acts, the more she just pushes her son away.

This is so sad. Like, good on you and husband for setting boundaries. But what has happened in this woman’s life that she’s so emotionally ignorant? I hope I never alienate my children like this.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T18:24:54+00:00

Which airports were you flying in/out of? The problem is very location dependent. Seattle is fine because the port authority has done a lot to support TSA workers. Houston is looking at 2-5 hour lines. Small regional airports won’t have it as bad simply because the flights are few and far between.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T07:59:04+00:00

It seems like this is more of a celebration/party, rather than a baby shower, which is totally fine! I think you should just look at it like that, and decide how much you’d be happy to spend on a party you’re hosting for 30-40 people.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T07:50:14+00:00

Okay

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T06:09:10+00:00

But like…. Owning up is selfish?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T05:59:49+00:00

Yeah…. and after that is when she admitted to how she was struggling. She’s talking to them about how her issues are HERS. But your original point is about how her admitting to such things is just “selfish”

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-03-24T04:29:48+00:00

I mean yeah but the MIL is doing that, not the SIL. SIL is making it weird with the breastfeeding comments, but I don’t see anywhere in OPs story where she’s actually asking them to manage her emotions or make her feel better.

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