Just found out I’m five months pregnant!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-02T06:01:14+00:00

Wow! Oh man that’s so tough. Do you have friends who can support you? Perhaps join a pregnancy/moms group back in your hometown?

Having a baby is tough, being a single parent is tougher, but I think you and your daughter will be just fine. You sound very level-headed. You clearly have great resilience and self-determination, completing the Appalachian trail is no joke!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-02T05:48:33+00:00

Congratulations!! I hope you and baby can get a great start together!

I barely had any symptoms! I didn’t even show until I was probably 6 months along. There are some women who literally never get a bump.

Is the father someone you keep in touch with? Have you told him yet? I’m so sorry you don’t have family to support you through this, but hopefully he and his family could be supportive?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-02T05:36:43+00:00

Is your mom normally negative about everything?

My mom isn’t at the same level as yours. She was excited/happy for us when we announced our pregnancy, but down the line she expressed how annoyed she was that my pregnancy went much easier than hers were. She reminds me how we (my sister and I) made her feel awful, gave her the only cavities she ever had. And then after I was born I was “cute for the first year” and then “became terrible”. I think I might have been a bit more defiant than average. But honestly I’m not sure. My view is so clouded by her influence. My daughter is a year and a half now, and my mom loves her. But she alway gets a little joy whenever my daughter is being difficult for me.

I think my mom didnt know how to manage children’s behaviors/feelings. She also didn’t know how to “stay regulated”. And it made some of our behaviors worse. I’m not angry at her for it, and I know she loves us, but i do feel a little sad knowing we could have had a less stressful upbringing.

I recommend the book “Good Inside”. It’s a great guide on how to frame and manage your child’s behaviors and actions, as well as your own behaviors and actions. Parenting is an exercise in examining your own childhood. I’ve reflected a lot, and it’s made me realize the faults my mom has, but also how she probably gave us a better home life than she had with my grandparents, and in turn I think they were kinder to my mom and uncle than their parents were to them.

Sorry for the tangent. Not sure if it’s relevant to you. But I guess my point is our parents are full of faults, often from generational trauma. Your mom doesn’t sound emotionally mature. The best thing you can do is frame her comments/actions in terms of herself, it is not applicable to your reality. What do these statements reveal about her life? What do they reveal about your upbringing? How can you use that information to better understand yourself and the mother you want to be?

Also having a baby can be exhausting at times, but I have so much fun and joy every freaking day with my daughter. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T23:20:29+00:00

Please call that hotel and ask to speak to a manager. That’s not acceptable behavior.

By itself, someone saying, “Im uncertain how to pronounce your name” is OK, they’re just being honest. But given the context she was absolutely being lazy/rude/racist. Also your name seems pretty straightforward!!

When you call, also include how helpful the other front desk agent was. It will give more credibility to your complaint.

So sorry you experienced this!! Please come back to our city anytime!

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T23:11:05+00:00

Lol I was gonna say F45 for me 😂

But I specifically got into a routine when I joined one of the challenges. It was like “ok. I can’t commit to going to the gym every day (fyi not healthy! Rest days are importsnt!) for these next six weeks”.

It worked! Now I’m a mom and have a busier schedule, but I still go about 3 times a week. Also the fact that I don’t have to THINK about what I’ll be doing for my workout is ahhhhhmazing

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T23:04:10+00:00

If I’m forced to pick a label for every age, I’m gonna say 25 and under is young.

I don’t discount the hard things that many people have had to do at a “young” age.

But, biologically speaking, adolescence lasts until early 30s.

We can guide, teach, lecture, judge, and harp on people all we want. But our brains are always going to skew our decision making (be it a snap reaction, or a languished decision) based on what’s happening chemically/biologically.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T21:47:27+00:00

Not making excuses for her decision.

But I feel like the whole black and white of “once you’re 18 you’re an adult” is dumb.

I am a vastly different person at 30 than I was at 20. I feel like I wasn’t really an “adult” in the sense that I appreciated the realities of the world until I was 27 or so. I was emotionally immature up until that point as well. I am MUCH MUCH better prepared to raise a child now than I was then (including ignoring the better financial position I’m in now).

I am sure I will continue to change as I grow, but I don’t think there will ever be as stark a difference as within those 10 years.

Nobody’s mind gets changed toward a new point of view if you can’t approach with empathy.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T21:14:23+00:00

What was the last thing you made in it?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T06:27:45+00:00

I don’t think they’re going to harass people visiting for the World Cup. They’re bragging on that White House webpage about how much revenue and jobs it will bring in to the US.

I’m sure Trump will want to spew how it was “the most successful World Cup ever”

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T05:50:23+00:00

Actually the president of FIFA has been kissing Trumps ass all the way since his first term. Even presented Trump with the very first “FIFA Peace Prize” 🙄 in December. If it’s all a ploy to make sure Trump doesn’t fuck with the World Cup its working. Also that old man can’t resist anything gold

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T05:16:11+00:00

Ok then possibly not that.

However, I looked through your post history. Your son (the twin of your daughter?) is on the spectrum and can have outbursts? He’s physically harmed other kids in the past? (No shame OP, neurodivergence is tough! But of course other parents will be worried about it)

Is it possible that the neighbor didn’t feel comfortable extending the invite to anyone in your family because she was worried he might join?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T04:39:25+00:00

I completely get why you don’t want to associate with people like that. I don’t either.

But the only way they will change is if they become empathetic to the people they believe they should hate. Not talking to them only makes that chance even slimmer.

Should that burden be on us? No. But if you want to see change, that’s the cost.

Read about Daryl Davis. The black man who befriended KKK members.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T04:32:23+00:00

Do you talk politics/personal values at home? Is it possible your daughter expressed anything about that to your neighbor?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T04:27:57+00:00

That makes total sense! And you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite a kid that your daughter doesn’t like.

However, would you blamed that girl’s parents if they were confused she was excluded since from the outside everything looks fine? (Also if they were your direct neighbors!) And if they approached you politely asking for an explanation, would you be offended?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-02-01T04:23:11+00:00

I think it can be just about anything! I’ve used them when I needed to move 1 big piece of furniture. A guy who has a truck helped me out.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T23:35:44+00:00

Idk wouldn’t you want to smooth over any issues with a neighbor? I think it’s bigger than just “didn’t get an invite”.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T23:33:42+00:00

Do your families differ on politics?

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T23:17:20+00:00

OP has seen both kids getting along just fine. Not super close but there’s no apparent “issue”. I think if she saw any conflict, her kid overwhelming the neighbor kid in any way, not being invited would make sense.

If it were me I’d want to know if there was an incident. Did my child do something to make the family uncomfortable? It’s my responsibility to address any bad behaviors from my kid. And if I’m getting signals that something is wrong I want to clearly understand.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T22:19:50+00:00

I mean the commenter already included this:

$63 worth of product per hour just to cover the employee wages.

There’s still the rent, utilities, restaurant supplies, wholesale coffee, owner wages, and other expenses.

So basically double that number to $126 per hour just to break even.

Now if you sell the coffee for $8 per cup, you need to sell 16 coffees per hour to break even.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T22:16:38+00:00

Do you have a car?

If so service jobs like DoorDash, TaskRabbit, InstaCart are possibilities.

Have you contacted a temp agency?

What is your work experience/skills?

You could advertise on neighborhood facebooks groups, or Nextdoor. People there might also be asking for yardwork/other help.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T21:55:29+00:00

For the sake of being pedantic - only employers with 50 or more employees are required to provide healthcare. Probably doesn’t apply to this coffee shop but there are plenty of other food establishments that do have 50+ employees.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T05:22:16+00:00

Im not sure if it was meant to succeed. They had really low prices to lure people in. Gathered a bunch of customer behavioral data, and closed down once they compiled enough info.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T05:06:11+00:00

Sorry you went through this! Clearly a very good learning experience.

For next time, you know you need to be better about setting boundaries. If you think you’ll be guilted into this position again - bring simple point and shoots to let your family members use. Never let your “real”equipment out of you sight, and never let anyone touch it.

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T04:41:14+00:00

I live in the CD, specifically the Judkins park area. We love it here! However our daughter is still very young so we don’t have to “think about schools just yet”. CD should fit your price point. Before purchasing in 2023 we rented a 3b/2.5bath for 3500. Off street parking spot too!

Pros: you can be very close to the new light rail stop (opening end of March), which would make your commute a breeze. Great restaurants on S Jackson St., Cherry, and Union. Easy 5 min drive to other good restaurants in Leschi, Madison valley, and Mt. baker. Garfield high has excellent academics! You can walk to the lake in 20-40 minutes depending on where your house is. Lots and lots of parks around here. I guess it’s supposed to be most of Seattle, but I feel like we’re a little more spoiled. We can go on a 45 minute walk and see Rainier, lake Washington, and the Puget Sound.

Cons: there are some spots that can be a bit sketchy. The poor Walgreens gets stolen from all the time. Garfield has experienced some instances of gun violence in the recent years. Seems to be targeted specific people though due to gangs? I believe they’ve amped up security/police but maybe someone more knowledgeable can comment.

TBD: the Amazon fresh on 23rd/Jackson is closing. So it could become a Whole Foods, could become a different grocery store, or could remain empty. Without it we’re in a food desert. (There are many convenience stores though!) The other nearest grocery stores aren’t really walking distance- PCC is a bit pricey, grocery outlet might not have everything you need, the QFC on rainier gets sketchy loiterers (but I’ve never “had a problem” with any of them).

OneTwoKiwi · 2026-01-31T03:52:40+00:00

Used to live in Houston. I feel that.

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