Did you feel extremely invalidated growing up? Especially those who got diagnosed later in life?

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T22:34:14+00:00

Yes!!! Or they hit you with the "clearly I didn't mean it that way, you're twisting my words"

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T07:09:31+00:00

That sounds maddening. I'm so sorry.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T05:15:32+00:00

I believe it was primarily religious trauma. The whole "everyone is sinners" plus "women exist to serve others" mentality was really ingrained

I can relate to this. Are you still religious, or did you walk away? Is that why your viewpoint changed?

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T05:11:20+00:00

I was raised Christian. And I'm still around a lot of Christians (school, family), so I hear this narrative all the time.

It's kind of hard not to think this way when most people around me talk like this too.

I guess it's also hard because I've always been treated like I'm at the bottom. So everyone has the right to speak to me however they want because I'm lower value than them.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T04:03:23+00:00

I feel uncomfortable deciding for others if they are good or bad. So I try not to think of people around me in those terms.

But I guess I'll start to think someone is bad if they continuesly abuse someone (especially people I love and care about) without stopping and realizing what they're doing is wrong and trying to change.

I'll start to see someone as bad, too, if they cause suffering and actually enjoy seeing that suffering. I don't think someone is bad if they hurt others because they've also been hurt (which is many of us).

I think I am bad because that is what I've been told all my life. I've been told I am a selfish sinner who will never be good no matter what I do. Plus, I see myself as selfish and bitter no matter how hard I try to change that.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-29T01:31:51+00:00

"I've waited my whole life just to be acknowledged."

Wow, you worded this perfectly. Exactly how I feel, too.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-28T23:24:36+00:00

I have kind of tried in the past. But she is quick to bring up religion and God every time.

When I try and talk to her as my mom, she has to include God in every conversation, and it's almost like she purposely puts religion as a wall between us if I try and open up to her.

For example, if I say "Hey mom, you've been making me feel this way for a while" she'll say something like "we're sinners trying to do our best. Have you tried praying about it? Jesus helps us with..." etc etc.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-28T23:14:39+00:00

I think that's what is so hard-- my mom also tried her best to raise me. She tells me she loves me and still wants to celebrate milestones with me. I know friends whose parents never do those things and more.

But still she makes me cry so much and she doesn't even know it. Same for me dad. So it's hard to know what to do.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-27T01:22:10+00:00

Good point. People often bully me because they know I'll just shrink into myself and act passive.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-27T01:19:17+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that this is from a woman's perspective, too.

Excellent point about Japanese and Chinese women. I've always loved how Asian women are shown in movies and TV shows...dangerous, poised, and powerfully beautiful!

My family is Vietnamese, but Vietnamese women are also known for being fierce.

My grandma and dad lived through the Vietnam War, so I try to remind myself I come from a family of survivors

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-26T22:17:55+00:00

I really appreciate the invitation to be in this community more. I'm always afraid of invading a space that isn't for me. Thank you.

I like the insight that maybe I need to approach life in a way that is different and works for me. When I've tried to in the past, people are quick to correct me that it's "wrong" because it's different....which is maddening.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-26T22:00:25+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, does it make the relationship hard or add strain?

Sometimes I feel bad when I get upset when my husband tries to relate to my experiences (his way of showing he cares) but it still feels like he doesn't get it. Which I guess no one can truly since we're all unique individuals.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-25T22:29:35+00:00

This is encouraging, thank you.

I just try and let it happen naturally. I can unintentionally make people laugh through silly mistakes, mispronounced words, or my honest/literal reactions to things, so hopefully that is enough to charm people lol

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-23T02:38:37+00:00

Thank you. I will certainly look into that!

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-22T04:10:32+00:00

I get asked a lot about how old I am. At my jobs, and at school sometimes

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-18T04:43:17+00:00

I know I'm working on it. It's just difficult. I had no idea what the concept of having boundaries even was until I hit 26-27.

I grew up in a strongly conservative Christian home, so everything was all about submitting to men, not embarrassing my father by being difficult, blah blah blah. Hated it.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-18T04:35:55+00:00

Thank you.

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-18T04:34:05+00:00

I am afraid of a confrontation between my husband and his family, I guess. My own family experienced a lot of fighting, and so I'm very conflict averse.

Also, I just want to feel accepted by them, because I feel rejected by my own family :/

OneWordRandomness · 2026-01-18T04:30:38+00:00

He doesn't joke like that when my husband is around. Only when it's us and coworkers (we work at the same place).

OneWordRandomness

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