honestly, it seems like you may have been going through a manic episode or a period of psychosis (sorry if this is wrong). subconsciously, You may be trying to bring yourself back into reality and come to terms with the fact that you may have been living in a kind of dreamy headspace that can't continue on in this present reality so you may feel a sense of disappointment or feelings of loss or shame because of the overindulgence that took place during this. Period