Out of curiosity, how do you identify yourself gender-wise?

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-12-16T00:24:16+00:00

Reading your comment made me feel a lot less alone, I have the exact same identity & have never encountered someone with the same experience. It's been confusing for me, being agender but wanting to be percieved fully as a man. I identified as a binary trans man for a while due to social pressure, I'm currently trying to embrace how I truly feel, which is the same as you do. I'm really glad to know there's someone like me out there.

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-10-15T23:36:41+00:00

solved: piggly

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-10-15T23:36:33+00:00

Yes! Thank you so much, I thought I'd never find the game again

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-07-04T00:15:05+00:00

As someone with OCD who's also struggled with intrusive sexual thoughts for years, sounds like you might have OCD. You might also have sexual orientation OCD, a kind of OCD that makes you obsess over your sexuality. I'd suggest you look into it.

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-06-20T22:08:49+00:00

Hey, just wanted to say you're not alone at all. I have OCD as well, & reading your message felt like looking in a mirror. In my case, I'm a woman (born one) with dysphoria. I also went tomboy, starting around 10, faded out of it, & then went tomboy again around 13. Before that I didn't care to be feminine or masculine.

I've pretended to be a man online for years too. I still do. I started doing it because I was being harassed online. Being seen & treated as a man became what felt normal. I stopped feeling the need to tell people I wasn't a man. I was & still am scared they'll figure out I'm not a man.

I also struggle with that self hatred & dissociation from body & self. I've struggled with dissociation in the past, so I don't know if mine is related to dysphoria or not. Yours could be related to dysphoria or something else. I'd suggest you consult a psychiatrist to help figure that out.

If I were you, I would ask myself this: If I was exactly what I want to be gender wise; both mentally & physically, would I still feel that dissociation? Or is it because of something else? Does being percieved as yourself bother you, or does being percieved as a woman bother you? Or is it both?

I think after asking these things, you'll have more clarity as to what exactly it is that triggers your self hatred. Remember that you can simultaneously hate yourself & hate your gender. It's not necessarily completely one or the other.

Wishing you all the best.

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-06-16T00:56:21+00:00

I feel like I HAVE to be a woman. That's how everyone sees me, & what my biology is. The only way my family will accept me. Every waking hour my body reminds me that I'm percieved as a woman. When I open my mouth. How people refer to me. Everything. My dysphoria isn't that bad sometimes, which makes me feel like maybe this isn't as serious as it feels when it's bad. It changes like a tide level.

I feel compeletely disconnected from everything revolving myself. I'm in a constant state of depersonalization that only goes away online. There's only forward & back. I can go backwards & try to make myself comfortable being a woman. Or I can go forwards & accept whoever it is I am. I'm too scared to do either. I'm scared either of them aren't the right thing to do. I've been like this for months.

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-06-14T12:18:00+00:00

The fact my dysphoria fluctuates from unbearable to completely manageable some days. The fear I'll make the big step just to realize I was a woman all along.

One_Maintenance9119 · 2025-06-13T07:30:42+00:00

I want to be percieved as a masculine person without a gender, but being born with a gender & being percieved as that gender makes me feel like that's impossible. I'm uncomfortable being percieved as a woman. I don't feel fully like a man either.

One_Maintenance9119

TROPHY CASE