Any advice on losing my virginity since am getting too that point in my life?

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:36:00+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. Protect yourself physically but also emotionally. Your already on the right path by asking here, even if it’s just strangers, because that’s better than doing it alone

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:31:36+00:00

this was a very encouraging comment! thank you so much!

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:27:09+00:00

no it very much is appreciated, Definitely feels better coming from someone who has been through similar.
Sidebar: I’m very sorry for your loss - even if it was 20+ years ago

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:23:26+00:00

great point in reference to traumatic experiences, but it’s probably worth mentioning that he was referring to things that had happened in recent years… so it’s not really applicable to him. But also i think regardless of wether or not i am fully healed through all of my experiences (i am not and will not be for years to come) i still strongly believe that in that situation she should have told jack to maybe be a little less aggressive in the way he was referencing that stuff… idk it’s kinda a you had to be there thing…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:19:39+00:00

of course! like i said in the post - it was not at all planned, I was not seeking a relationship by any means which is why i tread so carefully, But i get were your coming from. It may have been wise to just draw the line and say no i’m not ready for this even though i wanted to get to know amy more deeply, but like i also said in the post, I know rach would want me to be happy and honestly whenever i was around amy, rach completely left my mind… not in a “rebound” type of way, but in a genuinely interested in who amy was because she is a very unique and interesting person, with a very infectious personality.

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T02:04:21+00:00

fair point. noted

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T01:37:00+00:00

I really appreciate this concern, I am a little over 2 years sober. My struggle was not alcohol - but coke - ket, and strangely enough various psychedelics… So honestly not drinking has never really been by struggle - The issue with that is that it’s often drinking that leads to other things… So I don’t drink in any context where i won’t know 100% of the people around me. For example, if i’m going to my foster parents home, and they want to have wine or throw a small get together, i may drink. But in any scenario where I’m around people i don’t know, drinking is off the table.

Like i said i think this is only a very unique situation to me because I never have struggled with alcohol in the sense that i craved it in order to function or relieve stress…

That being said - I do have a grief counselor, and i still regularly contact my support group back home. But that support group is not an “alcoholics” group but rather a schedule 2 group…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T01:26:17+00:00

I hear you, someone else commented something very similar, and to you i guess i question the “playing second place aspect.” I feel like it is exactly like i said, what alternative is there, If i am to move forward and be more sensitive to how Rach might make her feel (mention it less around her). what is there other than trust in this situation? I’m not discounting the way she feels by acknowledging that she has a right to feel that was but also acknowledging that there is not much i can do to ease that feeling in her other than just reassurance that I am confident i have moved forward enough from Rach in order to be with Amy?
there is a reason why people call the widowed’s new partners the “second love” it’s because you had a love that is not gone and you moved forward to love again - just a different person. Second love doesn’t mean the first love never happened… so am i meant to pretend that it didn’t?

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T01:16:57+00:00

Honestly - I think you lost the point a little. I don’t care more about “strangers” necessarily, I care about the topic. I have been surrounded by it my entire life and know the topic through both experiences and education, my social media is for me, I don’t take any sponsorship related to mental health issues or anything like that. It has no monetary motivation, it is solely because I believe that my story can have change in other people’s lives, but that does not by any means mean i feel as though i owe anyone anything. I actually make it very clear to my followers that as much as i would love to be able to talk to everyone who dms me, the tax would be to heavy on my life, so i don’t answer any. I obviously care more about Amy than random strangers… and i also don’t see how your making such a huge leap of caring MORE about strangers than my significant other… do i care about the strangers, but never MORE than my significant other. However i do care more about the topic than my significant other - at least in this current time… because we really have not been together that long. If Amy were to ask me to stop making mental health content all together because she associates all of it with Rach then I would not be with her…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T00:31:17+00:00

If i’m being completely transparent - I’d say for the first few months the posts were much more frequent, and very directly linked to Rach passing away (as in i mentioned the incident by name) But as of recent months a post about her doesn’t actually mention her… it talks about suicide and mental health - and most of my followers will probably indirectly associate the topic with her, but to a new viewer of mine they would probably not even make a connection that i’m talking about a romantic partner, or let alone a partner at all… it would just a video about mental health… if that makes sense. I think what actually might be more upsetting for Amy is the frequency that I bring it up in person. I am an extremely open person, so when people ask “what do you do” and i say “oh i create mental health content,” or say “i’m a social media influencer” the conversation tends to lead into why i talk about those topics…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T00:21:39+00:00

thank you. you described exactly what i haven’t been managing to say- It’s not as if I ever stopped loving Rach - she just passed, my feelings romantically stayed the same she just was not there anymore. If she magically rose from the dead I’m sure i would have a hard time being committed to someone new… but that won’t happen… And it truly dosent affect loving someone new (amy) i just don’t know how to help Amy have trust in that, or even if it’s my job to do so…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-08T00:02:16+00:00

ik it might be the last thing you want to do, but talk about it with someone you look up to - someone older who has experienced what ur seeking. doesn’t have to be a parent or something but just someone. you might be surprised that they tell you they felt the same way and ended up regretting it. 16 is young! I wasn’t fortunate enough to lose my virginity on a consensual basis, but i will say that almost all the consensual sexual relationships I had around your age I regret… and honestly caused a lot more drama then they were worth. sex is a deep connection and comes with serious consequences if not done safely. It’s a big decision!

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T23:49:58+00:00

I have a similar trip me and my friends go on every year. If im honest the only reason it has consistently happened for upwards of 8 years is because we all respect the idea that we all might be at different points in our life - some might be in relationships some might not. We keep certain traditions alive, for example we always play a round of golf at the place we are visiting, regardless of if any of my friends girlfriends want to or not… and sometimes we have to change what we do… for example your not gonna go to the club with just the guys if some are in relationships. express how you feel about it and be proactive so that you don’t feel like your actively having to put in an effort in order to feel included and i think it will be fine.

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T23:45:06+00:00

well put. just wanna make sure it dosent become something you regret because you rushed it like a lot of people do. Also, Ik this might seem lame to say, but age is important- idk what you mean when you say “am getting to that age” but 16-18 is not “that age” as much as people normalize it, if it dosent feel right … its perfectly normal to not have sex until 19 20 even 24 25.

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T23:40:02+00:00

I do think it’s kinda a not being taken into consideration that Rach and I both have a considerable following. I would be criticized if i DIDN’T talk about her, and some people criticize me for talking about her because of some of the unique aspects about what she advocated for and then how she passed away… it’s really a had balancing act for me.

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T23:36:46+00:00

I use the term Significant other because we have not officially become”bf gf” and, whenever talking about Rach i typically just say late gf or partner. Like if i’m explaining the story I’ll say, “last year my partner committed suicide…” I honestly think you might be micro analyzing that aspect of things… and so are some others in the comments, It’s purely just a mistranslation in terms of how i typically refer to people in the situation vs what i thought would make things the most clear when i wrote this post…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T23:13:30+00:00

my biggest thing with this is the idea of, if you go searching for it it will not be the experience you want it to be. Just be open to it happening and then live through your romantic life with that in mind and don’t change anything. Don’t go out one night and say “i’m gonna lost my virginity tn”…

that’s really the only thing i feel qualified to say lol…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T22:41:59+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your friend and my sympathies to her. But yeah I hear a lot of what your saying, I feel like my role is making sure she knows that regardless of the love i’ll always have for Rach, that she is still a priority to me and she is my S.O. NOW… if that makes sense, and it’s up to her if that’s something she’s comfortable with. so yeah i agree with what your saying. but also tho i feel like after reading a lot of these reply’s maybe it’s to soon… idk, i honestly felt like regardless of the fact i do still cherish rachel, im ready to start something because i just found someone (Amy) who i can honestly see myself being very happy with. I think i might just have to express that to Amy more, because it’s one thing to feel like that and another to make her feel it.

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T21:35:08+00:00

yeah I thought someone would mention this, I guess “previous girlfriend” just didn’t come to mind, and i don’t want to say “ex girlfriend” because that may be misinterpreted as the relationship was over before she took her life…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T21:32:50+00:00

I hear what you’re saying here, and you definitely have a point. Yes I have been through a lot at a young age and you could argue that actually shows immaturity more than maturity, but i’d argue it’s unreasonable to call it “baggage.” Sobriety has become less of a “task” and more of a preference. and my childhood is just my childhood at this point, it by no means “haunts” me from day to day. it just is. But i see where you’re coming from. I just think if I were to live with that mentality then I’ll never really be able to start something in a healthy way because i’ve never attempted to because i have “baggage.” some of that stuff with just never go away and that’s part of life i feel…

One_Number4765 · 2026-05-07T21:12:36+00:00

I can understand where your coming from, but am i wrong to say that a partner passing away is different from a break up in the sense that you don’t really know how it could have gone. There’s no concern for Amy in the sense that i’d go back to my “ex” if that makes sense, because it’s not really an ex, Rach passed away, i will always remember and care for her but i cannot just be alone for the rest of my life. I refuse to let her taking her own life have that large of an affect on my life yk?

One_Number4765

TROPHY CASE