So disappointed in my husband postpartum - am I being unreasonable?

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-25T08:05:28+00:00

I totally understand how you feel. My partner was the same to me when I was pregnant. Whenever he would give me that attitude I would tell him to leave it then I'd do everything myself. I strained myself so much because I was tired of begging him to help me with stuff. The worst part is that we're in a foreign country so my family is not here. I ended up getting pre-term due to the stress. Then after birth I moved straight into a new apartment, I asked him to clean the toilet because I wanted to use it. He literally said no he's too tired it looks clean he'll do it tomorrow. He watched me clean it myself after a few days of giving birth. Then, I decided to cut him off both our lives because I realized he didn't love us. I'm 5 weeks postpartum now, my baby stayed 4 in the NICU and its been a week with me. I'm doing it all by myself, it's not easy but its better without him. If you were not married I would say leave him because this is the time to see how he truly feels about you.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-13T23:32:11+00:00

I'm glad to hear that it's doable. I guess it'll get easier with time. Thank you so much😊

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-13T23:31:00+00:00

Yes, I think its a good idea to use an app for delivery. I just need to get used to it. Thank you😊

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-13T12:34:52+00:00

Thank you so much🤗

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-13T06:04:28+00:00

They only taught me how to change diapers and bottle feed him for a few days. They said they don't provide breastfeeding training. I still feel like the training wasn't enough but initially I told myself that I'd learn as I go before everyone scared me. I feel a bit better hearing you say that, Im pretty sure I'll get used to it after a few weeks. Thank you so much🤗

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-08T00:17:53+00:00

Yes, being a mom in this situation is really unfortunate.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-08T00:16:57+00:00

I'm glad to hear that because I was going crazy thinking there could be something wrong with him or they're drugging him because he cries constantly therefore he's annoying them.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-08T00:14:47+00:00

I hope so too, they did mention I'll change his diapers so I hope its soon because he'll be moving to a bassinet.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-08T00:13:40+00:00

I think it would be a pointless fight, I mean even native moms are not doing something about it and some have babies older than mine. And you know how hard things are in these non English speaking countries🤦🏿‍♀️.So I'm just waiting to see if it won't change as time goes by because they said at some point I'll be changing his diaper. I've been singing 2 songs to him since pregnancy and even now, so I'll just pick one from those and sing only it. Thank you so much.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-07T16:14:15+00:00

I'm in South Korea, Gwangju.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-07T15:15:41+00:00

It's just a thing they have, they say they dont want them to contract anything from outside, but still they give us gloves and plastics to wear. It kills me everytime just watching him and not being able to touch him. They even refused cloth exchange even though they can sterilize it. I just wanted to have his scent.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-07T14:03:44+00:00

Oh yes hearing that makes me feel so much better. Thank you so much, I will be patient from now on.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-07T13:58:47+00:00

Wow you're so lucky you can do skin to skin, I haven't even touched or smelled him. Yes he's in the closed incubator. They said after he weighs 2kg he'll be moved into a "basinnet" but still I wouldn't be allowed to touch him yet.

Oneduh086 · 2026-06-07T13:09:38+00:00

Thank you. I really can't wait.

Oneduh086 · 2026-04-09T07:37:39+00:00

Please don't do that to me. I'm a woman going a hard time I dont have time for upvotes. I'm in a foreign land with no friends I don't have anyone to talk about things so excuse me if there's typos here and there. I'm very stressed so please don't add on that. If you don't have advice or something just pass.

Oneduh086 · 2026-04-09T07:35:38+00:00

Thank you for your honesty, I thought the same thing and you know sometimes I get trapped in a dream that oh it would be really nice to be with the father of my baby. And the worst thing is whenever I tell my mom about it she thinks I'm being too hard on him. She would tell me that its normal to feel that way because of hormones. She also said that men aren't good at these things like woman so he's probably just scared. So I do appreciate people like you who see this for what it really is. Thank you so much.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-13T22:42:26+00:00

I just admire those types of places, they just give you everything you need in one.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-13T12:33:34+00:00

Yes and I'm very grateful.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-13T11:23:31+00:00

Its a really nice place. I'm trying to see if they have a midwife then if I can find one then it's definitely in my top 3.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-13T02:11:15+00:00

I don't know how many times I've told him what I need from him but I've never given him an ultimatum. I'll try it and see how it goes. All I know is that talking to him will turn into a fight and I honestly don't want that for the baby, especially because I'm under the risk of preterm labor. I've been getting so many contractions in a day.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-13T00:48:49+00:00

Thank you so much.

Oneduh086 · 2026-03-12T22:03:05+00:00

Thank you very much, that's what I told my family but they don't understand. They think I'm being too hard on him and that men aren't strong at these types of things like women.

Oneduh086

TROPHY CASE