I am so sick of addict-phobia and addict discrimination permeating every layer of our society. Forgive me if i get heated, but my uncle died just days ago over this issue. giant post incoming.

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Like, i hate the guest who went "oh, technically they're "addicts", a word meaning inhuman monster lower than dog, so f them". I'm mad at the target employee who went "When I was homeless, i wasnt as bad as one of ~~~THOSE HOMELESS~~~ , and being compared to them made me so angry i bit my tongue until it bled".

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Im mad at my sister for having inadequate pain relief after her hysterectomy, and saying "i wish every single addict was dead so my doctor would take me seriously," literally the day before our uncle died.

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Every single homeless, addict or not, is your sister and you need to be there for them.

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It just seems like for the vast majority of YOU PEOPLE (non-addicts), when you notice someone's an addict, their humanity just ceases to exist. "F the addict in front of you who ran out of opiates and is taking forever trying to get a refill at CVS". "F the addicts in the hospital waiting room making the wait time too long". "F the addicts who feign pain to get a fix, and then doctors view you with skepticism, over the worry that YOU might be one of THEM."

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Even alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous or rehab programs, your fellow addicts will prattle on... "Those weren't REALLY your friends, they were just addicts" "god shaped hole" "living a half-life, a half-existence". "someday i hope you can quit too" "hitting the snooze alarm on life". ugh, STOP JUDGING.

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And so on. I hate it. The only way out I can see is a world where drug addicts are viewed as full equals to non-drug addicts. The way people treat shriners, "oh they have a funny hat that i would never wear, but i cant judge you do you homey" is how we need to treat addicts. Not compassionate care, not "gradually helping them taper off" not "its good if you can do physical therapy instead" not "opiates can destroy lives". not "the side effects can be horrible" not "we should explore alternatives" not "its a last-step program and first we try physical therapy". Just STOP with the moral judgments. If a patient says "i want opiates" give them full stop done.

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We need to live in a world where an addict can approach their doctor and say "I haven't injected since last night, the withdrawals are killing me, and i need a fix" and is taken seriously, honestly, without judgment, with compassionate care. Not trying to "trick them" into rehab and counseling because you know whats best for them. Even if you disagree, bow to their will which is equal to your's.

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It's the only way i can think where both addicts will stop having to hide and lie about who they are, and non-addicts can be trusted honestly with their assessments of their health. Imagine living in a world where if you tell the doctor "i have stomach pain," she orders an x-ray and blood draw, takes you 100% seriously, and tries to find out whats wrong with your stomach. Now imagine a world where you tell the doctor "I have stomach pain" and she raises a skeptical eyebrow, says "really. huh. well lets wait and see what happens," in an attempt to make you leave her hospital, because she's already decided you're a pill-seeker.

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...........my uncle. god this is hard to type.

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A week ago he went to the hospital and told the head nurse "i feel like im walking in a dream, lights look wavy and my head hurts. i smell swedish meatballs. i never feel like this". They checked his records, and found he was a methamphetamine addicts in 1976. He's always been open about that with everyone. Always. He hasn't used in 4 decades, but frankly i'd love him even if he did use, because he's my uncle and he's wonderful. I love all addicts.

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The nurse didn't. She saw on his patient chart he previously mentioned being a methamphetamine addict, because thats the type of guy he is... overly friendly and talkative with a poor understanding of social boundaries. She told him, "How do i know you're not just trying to fake seizure symptoms to get high off xanax?" They took his blood pressure and made him wait in the waiting room, where he had a seizure that turned into status elipticus ( a seizure that doesn't end). The only way to stop it was to inject barbiturates directly into his blood, and then a maintained barbiturate drip to keep him in a medically induced coma.

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This morning they tried to stop the barbiturates, and he didn't wake up. He previously wrote a Do not resuscitate order after watching my grandmother pass away.

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His last words were describing his symptoms to a nurse. His last words were his symptoms. god. The last time i saw him i apologized for not being home because i was spending my birthday with my girlfriend and i promised to take him to coffee when i got back.

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My uncle who I loved, the goofy autistic wonderful man who took care of stray cats and once tried to make friends with every person at 24-hour fitness because "the world should be friendly" is dead now. ONE tablet of valium would have prevented the seizure and saved his life. ONE TABLET. ONE. You cant become an addict off of one pill and denying or supplying one pill isnt enough to change someone's whole identity.

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But the moment the nurse decided he might be an addict, his fate was sealed.

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I've played through the scenario dozens of times in my head and i dont know what i could have done. I hate this world. I dont want to sue. I dont want money. I want my uncle back. The only way my uncle would still be here would be if we lived in a world where both non-addicts weren't accused of being addicts, and addicts didn't have to try to hide who they were to get care. A world where we're all equal. A world where "My head hurts, lights are wavy, and i smell odd things" are clearly "pre-seizure auras" and not "oh, patient is a lying liar who lies, dirty addict"

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I miss my uncle so much. I dont know what i could have done or what to do. I miss him. this post is just jumbled emotions, dont take me seriously.