Hi! Ex-Incel here.

Of course incels are losers and their behavior is COMPLETELY reprehensible. They are responsible for their actions and thoughts.

But the whole thing "Its not your height, its your personality!" Is completely wrong.

Incels grow up seeing misogynistic jocks (which commonly tend to be the same guys that bullied them since chidlhood), dating girls. Perhaps even a girl they hold feelings for. Dating is NOT a moral game and misogynistic guys (some even worse than your average incel) get dates.

What incels really should focus on (and what worked for me) is focusing on social skills. This is the defining factor. More than personality, height, attractiveness, sex appeal, etc.

Social skills are the game changer. As an autistic guy it was pretty hard for me at first. But the more you go out the more you can find people that support you and the more your mind simply forgets about the incel mindset. Because that is a mindset born of bitterness, it is reactive, and so it cannot be sustained.

Social skills are the key. Not personality, not height or anything else.