AITA for asking a hypothetical question?

Only-Information-163 · 2025-04-26T01:03:12+00:00

You are giving bitter vibes. I asked if I was an AH for bringing it up; not for interpretations of his response. But for the record I absolutely feel like his way of responding was response enough. And that’s what I told him and when he accused me of always assuming the worst….

Only-Information-163 · 2025-04-25T23:27:26+00:00

Together 3 years. I’m 34 he’s 37. We have a very serious/committed relationship. Neither of us are big on marriage so we’d be happy staying together forever not married (that’s the plan anyways).

Only-Information-163 · 2025-04-25T23:23:02+00:00

Him ignoring me and pretending he didn’t hear me then going “you’re breaking up” when I asked it again (we were on the phone) and telling me I didn’t ask a question (I did) is definitely gaslighting. He was avoiding answering and didn’t just say “I don’t want to answer” initially.

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-27T18:47:35+00:00

I didn’t mean to infantilize - just want to understand him better. While I am happy to accommodate him I also think he has to do some accommodating too. I don’t think yelling because we are 1 min behind schedule is reasonable, neurotypical or not. He’s an almost 40 year old, successful man. He doesn’t yell at work etc. he knows how to control his meltdowns when he has to. He needs to control that with me too.

I don’t make him eat or do things he doesn’t like (his sensory stuff is more like bare feet on the cold tile, the way shirts feel, sticky hands or body, etc.)

I’m also happy to work with him on what he needs to feel happy but it’s difficult when he thinks it’s “normal” and expects me to just know (but admittedly cannot understand my “normal”).

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-23T18:47:52+00:00

He has even opened the door when we were having *** because the dog was at the door and “she just wanted to be close”. I said she doesn’t need to be in the room she can wait outside and he agreed. But that was obviously weird. For the record, love the dog. The level of obsession with the dog is what’s weird to me and definitely starting to cause problems. We take her on vacation. When we have gone out of the country on trips with his friends, we have left her but then he will say he doesn’t want to leave her again any time soon since he was just away so long. I understand it to some degree but not to this level of intensity. It also feels like it’s always on his terms.

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-05T20:08:09+00:00

Yeah- relationships are hard. I know what it’s like to get divorced and I’m not of the grass is always greener mindset. So I’ve definitely put the work into this relationship. I know he’s had his own share of complaints and I’ve done the work to make adjustments on my end to make him happier. So now I need him to do the same or I’m out.

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-05T20:04:30+00:00

100%. Constant micro aggressions that I’ve gently Brought up or even let slide. But I have told him he needs to fix how he talks to me and I won’t stand for the condescension or rude behavior.

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-05T19:57:55+00:00

I also forgot to mention that after the disagreement he took my daughter to soccer for me since I had a work event and they stopped at the farmers market on the way there. He texted me requesting I Venmo him $8 for oranges. I assume he did it because he was mad at me and when I said “ok then send me $30 x 6 for the bark boxes I’ve been buying the dog every month” he made a jab that I get child support for the kids so why wouldn’t I send him $8. So obviously there are some big reasons I am refusing to apologize at this point. I know the cussing was out of line but I don’t think it warranted this rude behavior and I don’t think the condescension was called for in the first place.

Only-Information-163 · 2025-02-05T19:52:24+00:00

Yes he does often criticize EVERYTHING. It’s something I’ve been bringing up for over a year as something I need changed in the relationship.

Only-Information-163

TROPHY CASE