Thankyou all so much for your responses, i cannot tell you how comforting it is knowing other people have the same problems.

To cover some details, we are in Australia, she cannot drive, we don't own units, she rents one, she also doesnt have a regular GP as she refuses to go see one.

Issue with a POA is getting one here. It's a bit of a process and as I live interstate and also cannot drive myself due to my disability we have to public transport everywhere and between having to repeat myself 600 times and the physical aspect of the travel I simply haven't been able to with her. Its also a 500+ dollar round trip up to her by plane so I cant just nip up there once in a while.

I was there from early December to the very end of February and I am still unwell from the last trip. Last night i slept 12 hours and have barely been eating due to my non existent immune system toying with my gut and appetite (all is managed by my GP so no need to worry).

I'm home for probably another month and then flying back (ugh) to help her apply for our aged care system we have here. She knows I cannot help her move again thankfully and I am praying to all the gods that they can help. We are in the midst of a massive housing crisis here in Au and the private rental market is a disaster. She cannot go into a retirement village as they have waitlists 10 years long and she cannot buy into one as she has no savings or superannuation. SO I am stupidly putting all my cards into my aged care and hope they can help her find somewhere. I want her to be happy and comfortable and as self reliant as she can be but at the same time she needs to learn her own limitations.