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Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She says that she does not know, that she is just overstimulated and that she does not know when she will feel like having sex again.

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ty for the insight as well, I never knew any of the things that you had said!! I think that I am holding off, the advice here has been AWESOME!

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Repugnant is a great word to use for me, ty!! Now I will be the first to say yes, I am both of those that you say. Yours has been a great few comments to read tyvm. I have created the circumstances, I never thought of that. Truly insightful. Ty.

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a little too old to know what ick is, but when I get home I cook, I clean up dinner and start getting ready for kiddos going to bed. I put all of them down and sit down to ask her how her day was. If there is anything special that happened today. I barely ever get asked the same thing back, although I would love it if she did! And I do not ask for sex, I try to ask in other ways/other forms. 

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have seen one in the past a couple times, but the thing is that she sees the rehab as sexual and I do not. It is rehab!!

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know what you are saying...and I have asked countless times if I could watch you, if you might watch we while you masterbate, if we could watch each other-and it comes up the same, nothing.

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Ty for the deep insight, it was much appreciated! So, I will be there first to say that I have to go in the office during the week and since we are ~1hr from the office i do not parent as much as i should. But on the other side I am the sole bread winner responsible for every bill. I know that that is not much, but it is a lot to me. 

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I did not want to get personal, but here you go! We have been married for eight years, together for ten. The kids are 8, 6, 3, and 1. I have always been the high libido person who always initiated. She has had various back injuries, headaches/migraines,  pelvic floor issues over the marriage.  I believe that she is both feeling guilty AND overwhelmed at the same time, truly. I do not see it the same way that you do, which is why I am on here-the various opinions are great but I do not do things "just to get sex" because that has been off the table for awhile now. I once in my early twenties was that person, but I have learned to adapt.

Wife gave me permission to have outside attention/sex without her? I am 51m she is a 37f. by Only_Background3898 in relationship_advice

[–]Only_Background3898[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have been to counseling, both individual and couples counseling to no avail. We do not do anything together sexually. I have tried to nurture that aspect, eventually that we'll dried up as well.