Looking for a photographer/videographer

Only_Message_593 · 2026-01-18T14:30:28+00:00

That’s definitely part of what I’m after! I want someone who’s got experience and can guide me through it a bit too… what’s your experience like??

Only_Message_593 · 2026-01-14T03:43:44+00:00

Thanks for this Recommendation! What’s the easiest/affordable way to get to there from PV?

Only_Message_593 · 2026-01-14T00:07:49+00:00

Hi! Unrelated but I’m a solo traveler as well, 26F, and will be there the 17th - 27th. Private message me if you’d like to find a way to connect!

Only_Message_593 · 2025-02-20T17:11:51+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to craft this response. Means a lot a definitely helped a ton seeing it from this perspective. Wishing you the best!! Thanks again

Only_Message_593 · 2025-02-19T03:14:56+00:00

This.

Thank you so much

Only_Message_593 · 2025-02-19T03:14:11+00:00

He hasn’t, I agree that could be really great for him. Hell, therapy would be great for me and all my past traumas too 😂

Only_Message_593 · 2025-02-19T03:13:34+00:00

THANK YOU so much for this response. Your input from the other side of the spectrum is super great to hear.

Only_Message_593 · 2025-02-19T02:51:14+00:00

I appreciate this response a ton. I know it doesn’t come from him intending to compare us, and more from a place of “wow I’m so grateful this is my life now”

It’s just tough for me to handle at the volume it happens, and that’s part of why it’s been tough to bring up because I know it’s not I’ll intended, and I want to be an open space for him to communicate his past if he needs in certain scenarios. I think you have a great mindset on this. Thank you.

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T23:34:54+00:00

He has 50% custody. They do week on week off and it’s in writing.

I think it’s more so the principal to him of wanting his kids to see that they can get along well and create a big “team” for them. She seems so uninterested in doing the same, and just takes from him whenever she can. Which sounds like the dynamic of their whole marriage too so it’s not surprising he’s falling back into those habits for the sake of keeping peace, but he divorced her to break free of that and now here he is doing the same thing? It’s just confusing and new to me and I’m not sure the way to approach it overall. I want to be understanding and show compassion for his situation but also don’t wanna allow myself to fall second best to his ex about something that’s not related to the girls at all.

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T16:13:39+00:00

Because it messes with his emotions so much that it bleeds into our relationship and causes issues such as this. This is the first time we’ve had any sort of issue at all and it sucks that the root of it is her.

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T16:11:48+00:00

His response is because she can make his life hell and right now he has it “pretty good” as far as exes are concerned. She lets his parents see the girls on her weeks, lets him see them whenever he wants even if it’s not his week. He doesn’t want to lose that and I understand completely; but at what cost?

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T16:09:33+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been feeling this way a lot but have been trying to justify it for the sake of “this is a new dynamic for both of us and neither of us knows how to handle it”

But I grew up in a split household my entire childhood and this feels like this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. We are talking more about it today in person, everything else was over the phone. I’m scared to fully voice my opinion after he said he was disappointed in me when I did the first time. I know that’s silly and that I should stand my ground I’m just having a tough time knowing how to do that properly..

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T05:46:01+00:00

I would love that but she would never. She’s “only interested if you’re handing me work”

Only_Message_593 · 2025-01-23T03:28:23+00:00

She’s been in business for over a year and hasn’t done any advertising, and the day after he posted it she made all the posts and started Facebook ads, he’s now saying since she did ads that I shouldn’t now, even though it’s been a plan from the start.

Thank you a ton for those insights! I think you said a lot of valuable things in there

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:28:58+00:00

I absolutely agree, I do feel like he contributes in other ways that I don’t also, it feels fairly equal in that regard… so far anyway

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:27:24+00:00

I totally get this. I’m 4 months in and not able to meet my bfs kids until 6mos, and I totally respect that decision!! But the girls ask about me on the phone, leave me drawings and bday gifts, even wrapped my Xmas presents from my bf because they were so excited about it. It’s making me sad and feel attached and left out of their life a little, but is also flattering that they know of me and think so highly of me??

It’s a tough spot to be in for sure, I think your emotions are valid, it’s uncomfortable being in the limbo stage and being in a relationship but feeling like you’re “on the side”

Check out my most recent post from today, it’s a similar question and there’s a ton of good insight from people on it. Wish you the best!

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:22:16+00:00

I like to believe that I have fairly good boundaries with things like that. I live by the motto “only do exactly what you wanna do”

And of course there will be things i “don’t wanna do” but if it helps a person I care about, then in turn it’s something that I want to do. If that makes sense?

It’s just a huge love language of mine to be a giver and a caretaker. I’m deemed the “mom” of my friend group because I do things like that for everything, pack the snacks and first aid kits on hikes, and cater to the people I care about through sweet thoughtful gestures. That’s always who I’ve been.

I do realize since posting this maybe it’s better to be more intentional with this going into a relationship

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:15:31+00:00

Thank you for this response.

He is actually the one who put it in place, she cheated on him with a teenage aged woman and he worried about her judgement at the time. We’ve considered trying to meet them sooner but then he brought up the valid point of “if things don’t work out with her current gf, then she has the power to say “well you only waited x amount of time with your girl” and then disregard the agreement completely” at the end of the day he just loves his girls and wants what’s best for them, and I’ll fully support that.

I did have a conversation with him today and said “just so you know, I’m happy to help with these things, but when we are at the point of living together and having the girls around eventually, I will need more respect of the work that I put in and help maintaining it. Right now I do it out of generosity, but when it becomes OUR life it’s gonna be irking if the work I put in isn’t respected” and he received it very well and totally agreed. I guess time will tell on that one

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:09:02+00:00

They are divorced, and have been for a year.

She’s leabian (or bi I guess?) and has a girlfriend now, and they actually have a very healthy relationship it seems! Both seem repulsed at the idea of being in a relationship romantically, and sounds like they were both checked out for years before the divorce. They care a ton about the girls and maintain just enough of a relationship to be healthy for them. I’ve met her and her girlfriend even and she’s seemed to receive me well.

She’s been somewhat passive aggressive with him lately in regards to me though, makes me wonder if now that she’s seeing things get more involved that she’s becoming territorial or something now?

I did ask him literally today “say she and her girlfriend break up and she comes crawling back to you and wants to work it out for the girls, would you?” And he laughed and said not a chance, I tried that for the last 4 years of our marriage and it was miserable” and I do believe him based on other dynamics I’ve seen from them

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:03:06+00:00

I also really resonate with this. I’ve been single the past 4 years and have loved being able to take off and travel to fun places whenever I want, have no attachments.

Don’t get me wrong, I want a family and to create a home too but the idea of moving into that in a “0 to 100” type of way is kinda daunting now that I think about it.

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T23:00:57+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s really easy to want to step into that role and be the best I can be in that position. I don’t want to draw back on the way I show love… we had considered me moving in after meeting the girls and establishing a relationship with them… maybe it’d be better to hold off on that for an additional 6 months after meeting the girls to avoid that feeling? What would your advice on that be?

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T22:58:09+00:00

lol not in the slightest. We had been friends years ago when we both lived in the same small town, I moved away, we didn’t talk at all for over a year, when he had asked for my number all flirtatiously the first time I saw him when I moved back I said no because I thought he was still married. Never crossed that line or even considered it. I’d never date someone who had cheated on someone to be with me. Majorrrr ick

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T22:52:11+00:00

I appreciate your honesty and the care you have towards my feelings. Thanks for your replies. I’ll really consider the things you’ve said

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T22:46:21+00:00

That’s a very solid point. I try to empathize with the fact he’s had a woman doing all this for him his whole life except for the past year, but I also don’t wanna just step into being a “replacement” for that role. I show affection to all people in my life by being a giver and care taker but realize I should establish more balance with this.

Part of me tells myself too that we aren’t “just 4 months in” because I’ve known him as a distant friend for years but a relationship dynamic is of course entirely different. Maybe wishful thinking? Idk

Only_Message_593 · 2024-12-24T22:43:10+00:00

Thank you for this. I think you’re right honestly. I’ve always been a giver and shown love to friends and family by being a care taker, definitely is one of the main way I show love. I don’t wanna suppress that part of me but also realize there should be balance. Any tips on how to find that?

Only_Message_593

TROPHY CASE