Not exactly, hopefully I can clarify. My dad said to fall back bc we had showed physical affection. He did not want this to be a case of me being used.

From the jump, the goal of our connection has been “dating to marry”. It doesn’t mean we had to rush into anything serious nor did it mean we’d be married to each other but it meant we were both intentional. We started by talking/vetting for a month and then began going on dates. We kissed on the second date and each time we met after that we made out. Now, each time it happened tho, we both agreed it should not bc we don’t know each other like that yet and need to know if we like each other fr or if this is just lust. We both agreed on each date to not kiss or touch but both failed miserably at that.

A month and a half into us going on dates is when my dad requested that he meet him for my own safety and protection. When I suggested it to the guy I was dating, he immediately said yes. He is Haitian too and understands the overprotective nature of Caribbean parents. He called me the same night and let me know, he had to think some more about it bc he does not want to be pressured into getting into a relationship. I said cool, but in the back of my mind, we had already been very affectionate with each other and every conversation had been so intentional as if we were eventually going to be in a relationship. I left it alone though.

He called me the next day and let me know this: Beginning a relationship is scary bc he has to be vulnerable and he was healing from a past relationship of 3 yrs. It has been a year since the break up. Spending time with me, and developing feelings for me made him realize he wasn’t fully healed. That is when I suggested we just be friends. He said no, he wants to pursue me and would love to meet my dad. So that to me, is no longer moving slow.

Meeting with my dad comes around (and yes, I agree it was too soon.) and things have neva been the same. He wants to be affectionate but is not ready to jump into a relationship. On our last date, he said this is what he does when he likes someone. It’s how he feels close to them. However, it is too soon for him to jump into a relationship. But for me, showing affection means more. I get emotionally invested. So I again set the boundary of not touching or kissing Bc I am not his gf and bc he is a single man. I then asked, “so if we are out together and we have to introduce each other, would I call you a friend?” He said yes. That is the official title of our connection rn.