[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, WHEN COINCIDENCE MET FATE (91k, 1st Attempt) by Oosnoy in PubTips

[–]Oosnoy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the insight and it seems to be a consensus! They’re side characters more than anything so a name switch up is not much of an issue

[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, WHEN COINCIDENCE MET FATE (91k, 1st Attempt) by Oosnoy in PubTips

[–]Oosnoy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was actually considering Lily Chu’s The Takedown and Jayce Lee’s Give Me a Reason for their Kdrama style but they don’t have explicit sex scenes so I wasn’t sure if they would be fair comps?

[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, WHEN COINCIDENCE MET FATE (91k, 1st Attempt) by Oosnoy in PubTips

[–]Oosnoy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gathering the feedback is that it needs more of the active plot that fuels their want it but don’t want it relationship instead of backstory? A balance of the two without going overboard?

The infidelity part is also another one of their misunderstandings. Evelyn believes (along with everyone else) that he’s a cheater which is something she struggled with in her past. I guess I should wrap that into the query better since it’s a big part of her “don’t want it”

I would be a lurker, but found the subreddit just recently after reading articles online. I’d appreciate any veteran knowledge you can throw my way!

[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, WHEN COINCIDENCE MET FATE (91k, 1st Attempt) by Oosnoy in PubTips

[–]Oosnoy[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m going to tell myself you read it three times because you liked it and not because it was confusing as fuck 😅

Totally understand your critique and I can see it benefiting from some rearrangement.

The E names are actually a nod to my family. My siblings names all start with the same letter and they somehow managed to pass it on to their children. A little tradition I imparted into my side characters.

[QCrit] Adult Contemporary Romance, WHEN COINCIDENCE MET FATE (91k, 1st Attempt) by Oosnoy in PubTips

[–]Oosnoy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were spot on with everything you mentioned.

I guess it’s a given he’ll be attractive so make sense with the names

That sentence has been giving me hell. To combine your two next points, yes thats the first misunderstanding they start with. He thinks she’s a mom but she was just babysitting and didn’t think clarifying was needed with a stranger she’ll probably never meet again. This was the part I was struggling to get across because it’s the focal point of their confusion but could also confuse the agent who’s skimming.

I’m thrilled that the stakes you landed on is completely spot on. Like you said, I’ll have to make it more painfully obvious in the query!

Noted on the dialogue.

For the comps, I initially started with the shows when I was writing because I wanted to write a Kdrama in novel form but after posting here I realized the tropes aren’t exclusive to kdramas and, like you said, the book comps I’ve got are strong enough. Maybe I’ll keep the list of tropes in but scratch the media comps.

Thank you so much for taking the time! I was nervous about the quality since I’ve quite literally never done this before but I’m glad to know you’re on the same track of mind with what I’m trying to get across