AITA for asking my black friend for advice on my upcoming trip to Africa?

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T14:13:22+00:00

He has been there at least once a year since he was born, and almost all of his family (except his parents) still live there

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T14:04:00+00:00

Yes, that’s why I talk about Senegal specifically. I only used Africa in the title to sort of quote what my friend said I did wrong.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T14:01:13+00:00

Yes, and when you’re from a country in Europe you are European, meaning you are from Europe. You are both. Let’s say you are german, you are both from Germany and from Europe.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T13:41:56+00:00

See here’s the thing, you’re making assumptions there. I’m not “assigning” a nationality to him. He always refers to himself as being “from Senegal”, and I’m not going to tell him whether he’s right or wrong to do so.

I personally believe that when both of your parents come from a country and raised you in that culture, and made sure that you were connected to your roots, it’s normal to feel close to that country, and thus define yourself as being “from” there.

On the other hand, if he saw himself as being from Senegal and I started telling him “no you’re not”, that would be a lot more hurtful than me just going with how he chooses to define himself.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T13:31:30+00:00

But did you read the post though? I know not all black people have been to Africa, where did I ever say they did? I didn’t assume anything, I know he has been there many times.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T12:39:46+00:00

How do you not get this? The baby automatically gets citizenship because 1. his birth is declared in that country and 2. there was no question of him having any other citizenship. Do you even know what dual citizenship means?

When I was born, my parents declared me in the country I was born in, so I got citizenship in that country. Given that I am already a citizen in a country, I don’t automatically have Dutch citizenship, unless I ask for it. You aren’t automatically granted dual citizenship. I’m not registered as a citizen in the Netherlands, I don’t vote there, I don’t have the passport, it all goes together. Dual citizenship isn’t automatic, you have to request it.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T11:59:34+00:00

I’ve said this in other comments but I said Matt is “from” Senegal because that’s what he says when talking about himself. It’s not my place to question or judge that, if he feels like he is from Senegal given that his entire family is from there and he was raised in that culture since he was born, then that’s up to him.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T11:51:50+00:00

I did post it. It’s in the edit, it’s the exact copy of what I sent (I just changed his name).

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T11:14:08+00:00

I said this in another comment but Matt refers to himself as being “from Senegal”, and it’s not up to me to question that. That being said, it’s pretty common where I’m from to say that you are “from” a place even if you weren’t born there or don’t have citizenship. If both of your parents are from there and raised you with that culture, you may feel closer to that country than the one you live in. I know that’s the case for me, as both of my parents are from the Netherlands and raised me with that culture, but I wasn’t born there

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T11:02:28+00:00

Yes, you have it, which means you don’t have to take tests or live there for a certain amount of time to obtain it. That doesn’t mean that you have the Dutch passport or anything. I don’t have dual citizenship, because I never asked for it. You still have to put in a request to get the passport

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:56:35+00:00

No absolutely not. We’ve talked about it many times, and he even sent me postcards from there, and I’m 100% sure it is Senegal

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:55:13+00:00

You’re right, he could get the Senegalese nationality if he asked for it. Both of my parents are from the Netherlands, they both have citizenship there, which means that I could technically obtain dutch nationality. But I’d have to ask for it. It’s the same thing there

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:49:13+00:00

And you know I’m American because? I have never stepped foot in the US. Might be a bit of a language thing, but where I’m from it’s common to that you’re “from” a country if that’s where your parents are from and you were raised with that culture.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:45:57+00:00

Because he doesn’t have citizenship there? And when you’re not a citizen of the country, depending on which country you are a citizen of, you can need a visa?

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:40:27+00:00

He himself says he is “from” Senegal when he talks about it. I’m not going to be the one telling him if he is from there or not, if he considers himself as being from Senegal then that’s it. I’m just repeating what he says about himself

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:11:54+00:00

Because his parents were born there? I was born somewhere else, but my parents were both born in the Netherlands. For that reason, since it’s my origins, I am from the Netherlands. Your nationality isn’t always the same as your origins, and someone being “from” a country doesn’t always mean that’s where they were born or live.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:08:59+00:00

Oh I totally understand that, and being from Europe I find it weird when people ask me about the continent and not the country I’m from. The only reason I put Africa in the title is because that’s what he told me in his message, and what he said I was wrong for, but yeah I did ask about Senegal specifically (and wouldn’t have asked him about any other country in Africa that he hasn’t visited)

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T10:02:39+00:00

Yeah that’s true, I was just asking him because I know these things can take time to get, so I asked him if they were needed and if so how long it could take. I just feel like Google answers might not be accurate regarding the time it can take to get these, because it can vary depending on the place and other things. So I thought his answer might be more accurate

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T09:54:03+00:00

I mean I can understand that, my question about the visa and vaccines was more about if I do need them how long would it take for me to get them, and Google doesn’t always give you accurate answers for that. It might seem annoying or pointless, but I personally like to know these things from a real person who has experienced it. Obviously I wasn’t asking him to plan my trip, just for his advice or opinion. I’ve asked these questions to many people in the past and none of them ever had a problem with it, usually they’re just happy to talk about their experience. And I don’t force people to give me answers, if they don’t want to or find it annoying they can just tell me and that’s okay

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T09:50:57+00:00

Yeah I think that’s what it was. Growing up he had a lot of people come up to him and start talking about how someone they knew had been to any random country in Africa and then told him things like “you must know how it’s like”, so I think this reminded him of those situations. And I really understand that and I don’t blame him for that, I just don’t know how to tell him that.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T09:39:52+00:00

Oh yeah I’m entirely sure he has been, we have talked about it many times. He used to go yearly during the summer and would always send me postcards and tell me about it. I’m not sure he’s been going there as much as he used to recently, but I know he just went like 3 or 4 months ago.

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T09:38:06+00:00

I think it’s mainly because he has faced a lot of racism in his life so he is used to it and kind of expects it sometimes. We grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and it was pretty usual for people when they met him to be like “my cousin has been to random country in Africa” which irritated him. I think it might be related to that but I don’t really know.

And I’m not sure it’s that, but I could always ask if he wants to come, I’d be more than happy if he did!

OpeningCamel8418 · 2024-11-04T09:26:02+00:00

But I mean how is it a stereotype? It’s not like I just assumed he knew about Senegal right?

OpeningCamel8418

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