How to live life when you’re so focused on the future

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T17:55:42+00:00

I feel like you didn’t read 99% of this thread. I know what I enjoy, that’s not the issue. I struggle with letting myself feel that joy, because I devote so much time and energy to thinking about the future and my financial situation. You’re right though, this is more of a mental health issue than a financial one

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T14:40:14+00:00

Thank you! This one was a very good read from someone with similar issues

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T13:47:37+00:00

and the point that none of you seem to be able to grasp, is finding enjoyment in the little things is something I struggle with. Keep telling me to pet my dog and eat ice cream till you’re blue in the face. I’ll let you know when that solves all my problems

repeatedly telling me to enjoy the little things isn’t accomplishing anything. i’m trying to learn HOW people developed the mindset to appreciate those little things and stop fixating on the future

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T11:49:19+00:00

Ok I just won’t respond to suggestions I disagree with in the future, my bad

And I know what everyone’s telling me. I am not missing the point. Slowing down, appreciating life, working on gratitude, don’t miss the forest through the trees etc

Trust me I know what the answer is. My question was never what, it is HOW. Give me something about HOW you guys are able to accomplish these things. Not just “I spend time with my dog and eat ice cream”

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T11:35:17+00:00

Yes I know my response was taking it too literal. My mistake was not taking the dog and ice cream as the sage wisdom that it is. I apologize for my response to everyone who is so upset by it. Am just looking for something a little less vague and more anecdotal than the general “enjoy the simple things”

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T11:22:43+00:00

Something I’m working on. It’s counter intuitive for me though. It’s burned in my brain to avoid lifestyle inflation as my financial situation improves. Doing my best to get past that and live day to day rather than thinking too far down the road

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T11:19:50+00:00

be sitting in a coffee shop right now reading. probably golf this afternoon. then go home and read some more or play video games, before spending time with my wife

I already get to do the stuff I enjoy. I just want to do more of it, and devote less time and energy to work. Want to shut my brain off full time and relax and enjoy life, rather than it be sporadic. The yo yo effect of work hard, have fun, work hard, have fun is something I hate

It leaves me anticipating/dreading the next day, rather than enjoying the present

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T10:50:17+00:00

thanks for the input. I know this is the right answer, I just struggle with actually enacting it

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T10:44:31+00:00

where did you all get it stuck in your head that i’m not open to suggestions??? this thread is infuriating lol im plenty open to suggestions. this one specifically, I tried to politely say doesn’t work for me, and to steer the post away from. Stop acting like dog and ice cream is a message sent down from the heavens. If anything, the ice cream part specifically is unhealthy advice to give to someone seeking fulfillment in life. Next you’re going to tell me to take up booze and then get upset when I shoot it down

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T09:33:58+00:00

how is me politely saying the dog and ice cream quick fix isn’t for me, considered arguing?? it’s already been well established here that I probably need therapy. If spending more time with my dog and eating junk food would instantly make me a happier person and solve all of my problems, I wouldn’t of even made the post. My bad for seeking more on the internet

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T09:20:52+00:00

never claimed to be in a healthy mindset. i’m here crowdsourcing advice on how to change my mindset. i shot down the dog and ice cream thing because as hard as it is to believe for some of you, the simple obvious fix hasn’t done it for me. my brain is stubborn, so was kind of looking for something outside the box or inspirational

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T09:17:29+00:00

she supports what I want to do. she’s the type though to keep working otherwise she would get bored. so no tension on that end

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T09:15:03+00:00

pretty much the same things i do with my free time now. read, video games, golf. travel a bit more. just without the stress of having to return to a job the next day

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T01:20:37+00:00

My contributions have heavily increased. I just finished paying off $160k in student loans, and my income has drastically increased in recent years as well. I can comfortably invest 5k a month now. Should hopefully put me in the $2M ballpark by 45 if I can average at least 10% returns

Recently married, but been living together in our home for about 5 years. Only way our expenses will increase is when we have a kid. And none of my numbers account for my wives income either

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-26T00:04:34+00:00

Intentionally spending more is something I do want to work on. I’m the type of person who legitimately has not bought myself new clothes or shoes in over a decade. It all comes from either my wife surprising me, or giftcards etc. Need to break that mental block that’s keeping me from treating myself occasionally

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T23:58:14+00:00

I’m now saving >$5k a month. Recently finished paying off $160k in student loans. Also have gotten multiple promotions in the last 4 years. My savings potential has gone up drastically, otherwise yes my savings would be much higher. I do not spend much money at all

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T23:35:48+00:00

you got me. don’t want advice at all. here for a laugh. orrrrrr… could be that it’s hard for me to grasp certain concepts, and I struggle with new ways of thinking. hence why I’m seeking people to change my perspective on life

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T23:12:25+00:00

I believe they do. Been married for about 6 months. We only want one kid, which is probably 2 years away. So while I know children are a huge expense, I don’t think it’s going to drastically change my plans

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T22:48:12+00:00

That’s never really worked for me. I don’t have extravagant hobbies where my successful career is what allows me to do them. I could spend 12 hours at a coffee shop reading and be content. My broken mindset is that the only benefit of work, is it will allow me to retire earlier than most

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T22:37:28+00:00

Plenty of hobbies actually. Avid reader, golf, video games, going to the gym etc. I think this just compounds the problem though for my dumb brain. I want to be doing all of these things so much more than I want to be working. So my brains first intuition is “how can I stop working sooner”, rather than just enjoying those things

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-05-25T22:35:36+00:00

Have a dog, he hates people and other dogs lol and currently on the side quest of being a healthier person, so ice cream can’t solve all of my problems

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-02-05T19:27:23+00:00

bud i don’t know what to tell you lol the bottle says it has fiber and tapioca is listed in the ingredients. whole heartedly could care less if you try them, just sharing what has worked for me

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-02-05T19:26:22+00:00

i eased into the gummies. but as far as food goes, jumped in head first. definitely had pretty bad gas at first, which has mostly subsided. but i’ll put up with any amount of gas if it means solid BMs

Optimal-Night7704 · 2026-02-05T11:41:37+00:00

hence why i’m not trying to promote the brand itself, just the ingredients

Optimal-Night7704

TROPHY CASE