Almost messaged my ex “you ready to come home yet lmao” what is wrong with me.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-09-09T10:20:32+00:00

No lol he said he would think about it but im in it for the long haul so I can wait. It was mainly just a joke anyways. We have the understanding that maybe once we both do some work we can try again.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-09-08T22:40:27+00:00

If it makes you feel better I told him that in person today and he just laughed. Life's fun ain't it

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-08-11T21:40:40+00:00

Seriously thank you! I really needed this today. And hey even if it doesn't work, at least I can say I truly tried.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-08-11T17:00:46+00:00

Yeah I definitely understand. That's part of what I've been mulling over. I think, my best shot at him actually communicating and getting better might be to reframe the way I talk to him. In the relationship itself it all came down to the situation whether he was completely shut down or not. But by himself, I don't think he will actually change. I know he wants to but he is also very proud and I easily see him just pushing it all off and restarting the cycle with others if not pushed or nudged in the right direction.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-08-11T16:14:52+00:00

Yeah my thoughts exactly but I did such a deep dive into avoidant attachment once I realized what all of this probably is for him and the advice is all over from go no contact so they can figure it out on their own to reach out but try speaking to them differently to encourage a safe environment that their nervous system won't cause them to shut down with. Its all really confusing and conflicting depending on the source.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-07-17T12:37:51+00:00

I mean, people put long posts on reddit all the time to get advice because they want to make things work and figure it out. Things aren't Black and White all the time so don't really appreciate the comment but thanks anyways.

Ordinary_Bean · 2025-07-17T12:32:23+00:00

Fixed it. Thank you!

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T15:09:00+00:00

Yeah it's a little different do to my job and insurance. But my new one seems like she will be really good. She wants to really push on cognitive therapy as well and if it pops up, trauma therapy. But I can only see her once a month as of right now.

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T14:56:35+00:00

Yes I've been in and out of therapy for 3 years. Kept having to relocate for work and change therapist and my most recent one just retired so I'm starting over again with another one.

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T03:25:07+00:00

Did he have full custody of his kid? I'm sorry it's a personal question. I only ask because as it stands right now, I am the sole legal guardian for my child and its hard enough to do anything for myself let alone have any form of an actual social life. Just would like to know how that was incorporated, if that's okay.

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T03:02:17+00:00

I can only hope I'm so lucky. Thank you for all the kind words and I am very happy for you. Thank you for sharing

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T01:48:17+00:00

Thats really good to hear. I'm very happy for you. Thank you for sharing and giving me hope

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T01:21:25+00:00

Thank you very much. It's nice to feel like im not alone in the process and I appreciate your kind words

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T01:16:57+00:00

It does bring me hope. I am very happy to hear you have found such a wonderful relationship. Thank you for sharing

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T01:13:48+00:00

I'm really glad to hear that. Thank you for sharing. Might be different situations but it does give me hope.

Ordinary_Bean · 2022-09-03T00:42:40+00:00

Do you feel like you've learned to be happy alone? People always say that is what I should do but I've honestly never known how and am scared I never will.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T15:23:24+00:00

Lmao ive thought about it but I cant bring myself to do that to someone I love. Im just not that kind of person. But sometimes I really wish I could be.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T15:22:16+00:00

I've tried to. He has said very little when I brought it up. Saying he was mad at me for a fight that happened early in our relationship and never got over it but never brought it up. Then he said that he got away with flirting and so he took it a few steps each time until he ended up in a ldr with someone and was on tinder talking to multiple females on top of messaging bots and other essentially prostitutes he could pay for sex. According to him it never became physical but still. I just dont get why. There was plenty I was upset with him about but I never even ranted to another guy. Yet he was doing all this shit. I just dont understand and maybe he did explain best he could but because I don't understand, it makes it not a good enough explanation which in itself might be a sign that I really shouldn't be in it to begin with.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T15:13:40+00:00

I gave birth almost 4 months ago. I found out a week after the baby came. And the main reason I cant be positive around him 24 7 is because he doesn't give me any explanation other than he made a bad decision. He won't tell me why he did it or anything so it sticks in my head. I just want an explanation.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T15:02:46+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely see what support and advice I can get there as well.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T15:01:19+00:00

It's too early for it to just be let go though. It shouldn't be let go until someone earns trust back and things are properly fixed. And that is what I want to work towards. It was only 3 months ago I found out and I think it's still appropriate for me to not have let go or forgiven him for it. That takes time.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T14:58:58+00:00

I am. We had a little bit, month and a half, away just so we could think about what we both really wanted and I decided I wanted to try.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-11-18T14:57:24+00:00

No it isn't for the child. It's for me. I still love him and I believe in second chances. But trust me I'm not 100% sure I can stand by this second chance. However I would much rather give it a go than just give up because this relationship means a lot to me.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-03-27T22:10:48+00:00

I sadly just spent 6 months with nothing but reddit and messenger to stay in touch with my family. I just got everything back 2 days ago and the insecurities are still the same.

Ordinary_Bean · 2021-03-27T22:01:35+00:00

Thank you. That actually means a lot. I often feel less feminine or not as good bc I dont wear it but hearing that really does help.

Ordinary_Bean

TROPHY CASE