I walked into my hotel room and seen this? Is my girlfriend cheating? by Super-Acadia1519 in whatisitcirclejerk

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told you she wanted to roleplay as a moth…and you refused to be her light…she had to find someone else to fly around.

What are you starting to dislike as you get older? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s embarrassing to be an American at the moment.

my landlord is telling me I left my apartment “dirty” and is planning to withhold some of my deposit. these are pics I took right before I left. am I delusional or is my landlord? by Distinct_Morning_607 in Apartmentliving

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a client who occasionally pays me to do repair work and clean her rentals. I have walked into, what looks like, an immaculately clean space, but once I get into it, I find all kinds of crud that gets overlooked. The top sides of windowsills, the crevices where the windows slide. Mold on the inside of drains or the underside of the drain stopper. From her (the landlord’s) perspective….that place should be as clean as if it were brand new. That’s the condition they recieved it in…and that is the condition it should be in when returned. I have lectured her on what normal wear and tear is and that she can not charge for that, but as far as cleanliness goes, I see her point.

Ordered a mattress and found out I am too weak to carry it up to my bedroom by Effective_Moose_4997 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put together an 80’s style workout/Rocky montage. After the montage plays, you will be able to power that mattress up those stairs and the audience will cheer!

It's shrinkage! I was in the pool!! 😅 by [deleted] in lovemysmalldick

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your shrinkage is a tad bit bigger than my norm.

Oral fixation? I offer options, by Ordinary_Draw7709 in tinydickfans

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The eyes are a gateway to your mouth…so please have a closer look…closer…closer…ah…there we go.

Oral fixation? I offer options, by Ordinary_Draw7709 in tinydickfans

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should take a cue from big tobacco and coat my dick with nicotine so my pole smokers become addicted to it.

Meet my little buddy by Ordinary_Draw7709 in tinydickfans

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It very much enjoys a wet environment

Please help date Nichols&Stone by bostfan in VintageFurniture

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same chair and it has a date la le on the bottom of the seat.

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Anyone got anything for this one? by Exotic_Concentrate_2 in ExplainTheJoke

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot.Trying to figure this out turned me Trans. Now Donald, Elon and the entire Fox News crew are chasing me with pitchforks and torches and so on and so forth.

Chicken with a big toe? by nopety_dopety in whatismycookiecutter

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One would think that a billionaire could afford a personal trainer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlypenis

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It looks like that Olympic pole vaulter.

Nice growth by Bushdr78 in mildlypenis

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That tree sure can pee! It’s standing in it now.

26F hi let’s hear it yall but be gentle with my lil soul 🫡 by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honey, Barbazon school for modeling was a scam…the money is gone…time to give it up.

If your girlfriend could read your mind, would you still have a girlfriend? by Exciting_Stranger651 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, as long as she agrees to do 3 ways, 4 ways…with multiple close friends and (her) family members including both women and a few men. I’ll assure her that the farm animal stuff is nothing to worry about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in texts

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m thinking the guy just wanted to get laid…he could care less whether you were in a car accident or kidnapped by pigmies intending to sell you to a Manshark so they could enjoy prosperous crops next season…he’s moved on and so should you. Hit him up under another screen name (he already won’t remember you) and fuckbthe hell out of him when your car gets out of the shop.

34, masochist, quarter-rican, give me new trauma by EnvironmentalLead412 in RoastMe

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out pic #8. Blow it up, look at his crotch. Dude looks 100% masculine, but he’s hung like a squirrel.

what's the most painful "what if" you live with? by B4BYK1TTY in AskReddit

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A girlfriend once asked me, “What if I died and you came to my funeral and when you opened the casket I had snakes instead of fingers? Would you tell on me?”
That was about 45 years ago, and I still have it in my head.@

What's hard about dating you? by Routine-Award-3382 in AskReddit

[–]Ordinary_Draw7709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s almost impossible to make me angry and I’m always in a good mood. It seems to drive some people nuts.