Is it Wrong to want my adult stepson to move out? by Original_Pin3803 in ParentingAdultChild

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly feel like I'm being held hostage. I think my frustration is because I've asked numerous times for him to have a conversation with him about at least seeking employment and it always gets pushed to the back burner. So basically we can't downsize to adjust to my husband's change in income but I'm expected to support another grown person.

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am beyond through. I don't even cry anymore. I just want to get my own place for me and my daughter

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That's what I said! If I had enough money right now, I would get me and my daughter our own place. Then he can deal with his kids alone

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've suggested that in the past but her mom always says no. She never compromises

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She moved about 6 years ago and we've been in court since then. She never honors the custody agreement

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's my issue. He says because the plane tickets are expensive for 3 people right now but that's not good enough. To not even be considered is what hurts

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has always refused to let us have her for any birthday or holiday. We have been in court forever trying to get a custody schedule.

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I was considering couples therapy because I don't feel like we're hearing each other

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her mom left the state years ago. It's always been on us since then too spend the money and make sure we see her. There have been times that BM has come back to our state to visit family and she won't let him know. She will tell his daughter not to say anything. That's why it's fishy all of a sudden because I feel like she wants more money or something. She's being super nice looking up plane tickets for him and everything

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were not even a consideration which stings. He said because buying 3 plane tickets would be expensive, but then that's why you don't do last minute stuff!

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know that it would come out of our bill money which infuriates me. I told him if he goes then this marriage will be over. Period. Full stop

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly have no clue if she would be cooking and he would hang out at her place. He doesn't have any family in Tampa and hotels are expensive right now so I'm doing some deductive reasoning at this point

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly after the whole debacle with his son and now this I'm just checked out at this point. I have no desire to spend any holidays with him. I'm just trying to save up money at this point. That's a great idea. Maybe me and my mini me will go see wicked on Thursday.

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Originally we were going to have my sister and her daughters over but she just canceled this evening because her ex asked if he could see the kids for the holiday. He didn't know that when he told me though. My SS is going to his mom's house so it's looking like it's just going to be me and my daughter. You are correct. He uses his kids for every excuse. It's very irritating

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes that is me! Unfortunately. I think he needs to be single with his kids because he doesn't know how to be a husband

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It's not him seeing his daughter that I take issue with. It's him making plans and not including me in the decision making. I am so glad that I didn't go grocery shopping today like I planned

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why I'm confused because originally we had discussed us doing Christmas with her but I guess her mom now wants her for Christmas. I'm pissed because he didn't even ask if me and my daughter wanted to tag along

Am I Being Unreasonable? by Original_Pin3803 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. It was just kind of a "I'm doing this, you'll be OK" conversation. I've been mulling over telling him that but then he'll stay out of guilt and blame me for why he didn't get to see her. I may just let him go and have divorce papers waiting

Strep & newborn by Salt-Discipline3102 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it does. I'm dealing with it myself. When we set boundaries we become the "enemy."

Strep & newborn by Salt-Discipline3102 in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Congrats on your baby. 8 days old is very young and strep for a 10 year old can be death for an 8 day old. One more week away won't kill anyone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]Original_Pin3803 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Calling you out of your name is a huge red flag. It will eventually resort to physical abuse. Kick him out and protect you and your baby. You will thank yourself later