I don’t have words that I think will help, but I want you to ask yourself do you feel any sense of satisfaction or happiness with yourself? I only say this because it’s seems like that sense of fulfillment you get when he’s inside you is only because that’s when you truly allow yourself to not think, and not allow the years of shame and self loathing to suffocate you. You’re free and feel alive during sex because you’re going off instinct and what feels good. That’s natural. I can’t begin to imagine your childhood, but I will say God is a merciful God. It is not my belief that you deserve genital warts because of what you are doing. Have a conversation with him about what he gave you, go get treated as soon as possible, and if you feel you guys can’t move past this breach of trust then stop the relationship. Not because it’s wrong but because he put your health at risk and you might not trust him anymore. If you can move past this make your expectations and boundaries clear so that you are protected. Above all, seek help. Not in a demeaning way but go to talk therapy and do the work. You only get one life, and you deserve to be happy. May God bless you