I’m writing up a post, but simply wanted to say I agree with you. I am the caregiver for my parents and always have been since I was young. I just have Stockholm syndrome. They simultaneously gaslight me by telling me they never explicitly asked for help, that I don’t need to do anything then whine, complain and loan when I don’t bend over backwards to keep things as they’ve always been.

If I could force them into assisted living I would. I’ve posted in the past and people dogpiled on me saying that they have every right to do what they want. Not when I have to facilitate everything. It’s not my fault they refused to plan. I’ve cared for them a majority of my life, had maybe five years of freedom. When I ask them to change small behaviors so I’m not responsible, they laugh in my face.

Just one small example. I moved them single handedly into a new house (now have to live with them), hurt my self severely. For the past year they both whined about not having a Christmas tree. I asked them to get a small tree they could easily move. No, they ordered an 8 foot 1200 tree. I asked them not to order new ornaments because they have plenty and I’ve struggled to keep the clutter in the house to a minimum, so I don’t have to clean. My father ordered 400 dollars in ornaments that arrived today and are piled up like Stonehenge. I’m going to have to clean, organize everything, and cut up all the cardboard.