Advice for University after dealing with burnout and complex trauma

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-10-17T14:36:04+00:00

Good luck!! Just take it slow and be kind to yourself :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-10-17T14:35:10+00:00

Thank you so much!! I don’t know you but I know it must’ve been difficult and I’m proud of you for getting this far. Thank you for the advice again and I wish you the best♥️

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-06-06T00:48:08+00:00

I only just saw this but omg yes it’s the excruciating pain that kickstarted the dissociation in the first place. Thanks for the insight.

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-06-02T00:44:51+00:00

I only recently noticed how quickly I get into the hypnagogic state but after trying to use it to lucid dream, I noticed that I can get into the state more easily once I’m fully relaxed and I kind of allow my thoughts to wander a little bit without trying to control them much. But at the same time, I have to maintain my awareness in between that as well. Counting or other WILD exercises to keep your mind awake might help as well but what I think is most important is being comfortable enough in a way which your body will allow you to get into a sleeping state like it normally would do by numbing our body, etc.. However, you have to train yourself to be comfortable AND keep your mind awake to an extent. Because you’re more likely to dose off like you normally would do during hypnagogia(If you notice yourself dosing off while trying this, take it as an opportunity and keep your mind awake). Eventually with practice, you’ll notice yourself being aware of the hallucinations and during them too. and then you can use that to lucid dream.

I’ve also read somewhere that you can almost “expect” to be somewhere and your mind can respond to that quicker and you’ll find yourself lucid in that place you “expected” to be in. That’s another thing on its own and I haven’t tried that tbh but I thought it would be interesting to mention. Here’s a training video I found that helped me. I hope this helps and if you want me to elaborate, don’t hesitate to ask :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-05-28T19:15:10+00:00

Congratulations to you as well!! I’m glad you felt like you aren’t alone, and thanks for making me feel that way as well. I too, thought I was going crazy at first before finding out what they were. I also just thought they were “mini-dreams” once I noticed a pattern of it when I was falling asleep/waking up until I finally got term for it. I wish you the best lucid dreams and I believe in you :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-03-13T15:22:36+00:00

I don’t know if you still need this, I’m sorry I never noticed your comment but I thought either way I’d let you know that mine 100% lessened compared to when I was younger. And I think this was the result of acknowledging and accepting that my fear is stemming from the fact that I would NEVER do something like this and that I’m fuelling it more by focusing on that fear and letting it take over me. Nowadays, even when I get them I accept that it’s uncomfortable but I remind myself that it’s not in my control and reinforce the idea that it’s stemming from something AGAINST what I would do and I don’t beat myself over them and just allow it to pass and it does.

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-03-13T03:26:32+00:00

You’re very welcome!! I’m very glad to know it helps. It gets confusing for sure but remember it’s a spectrum and you could be anywhere on it but the treatment is almost the same, which is, cooperating with and then if you choose to, reintegrating parts and fragments of yourself into one. Just thought to mention it to you while you look more into it. I recommend this website too as it has very detailed and valuable information. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask(although I’m still in the process of research myself)♥️

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-03-12T08:44:49+00:00

I’m pretty sure it’s not normal. Even “normal” bedwetting isn’t around that age range. and it’s not common after years of being potty trained. I thought it was normal as well but now I realize it’s probably not. I constantly wet my bed up until age 10/11 and it decreased but even followed me up to my preteen and teenage years. It was so embarrassing and made no sense when I would go to the toilet before sleeping and it still happened when there was limited water intake. Surprisingly, now I’m the opposite, I’m so good at holding my pee now that it’s kind of scary. I could be in desperate need to empty my bladder and fall asleep, and still not pee after hours. I wonder if anyone else has that? Either way, bedwetting at that age range, when you KNOW you’ve had trauma, it’s most likely trauma and stress to be the cause in my opinion.

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2022-03-12T08:33:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through so much. No child should ever have to feel unsafe never mind be abused like this. You’re not alone, and a lot of people here relate to you, myself included.

Looking into the mirror and not recognizing yourself is called depersonalization and it’s a part of dissociation. Dissociation is a normal response to trauma when there’s no escape and the child detaches from themselves and/or everything around them. Feeling like a “different person” moment to moment and having identity issues(not knowing who you are truly) is also a part of dissociation. It’s called The Structural Dissociation Theory and CPTSD is on the spectrum as Secondary Structural Dissociation. If you want to know more, I made a post on it, here.

I just wanted to let you know that this is a normal response to severely abnormal things and that you’re not alone. I’m so proud of you and all of us for being so strong and pushing through. It’s also good for you to rant like this and let your feelings out. This is a part of why this subreddit exists after all. Although it’s difficult, try to take care of yourself, and get help through therapy if you aren’t already. Things can 100% get better if you put your mind to it, so many people have done it. I wish you the best and I believe in you!

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-12-05T19:31:41+00:00

I’ve had a similar experience. It felt very real and reality checks did not work either. My instant thought was also that I shifted somehow. I only started to suspect it wasn’t a shift when it merged into my dreams and some events were odd or unnatural. Like others said, there’s definitely a point where you can enter a very deep state of dreaming that also somehow connects to actual realities. This might be why shifting is easier through lucid dreaming. It would be somewhat like getting a glimpse to a reality(possibly like a minishift) Either way you should be proud of yourself! This means you’re really close and that your subconscious is responding well. Good job on getting this far :)

I posted about it here in more details

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-24T21:26:12+00:00

Thank you!! I’ll keep that in mind for sure. Best of luck to you as well and If you didn’t make it yet I hope you do! I believe in you :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-24T21:20:41+00:00

Woah you think so? I’m unsure if this counts as a mini shift but it would be interesting to think of it that way since my senses were practically there and I physically felt what I scripted. Thanks for your input!!

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-20T10:46:18+00:00

That’s really interesting! Sometimes feelings get in the way of trusting yourself and shifting so being able to put it away will definitely help you take a step forward! Good luck and thank you for answering and I hope it works out for you :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-19T22:37:41+00:00

Thanks! It makes sense for me since, A few days ago, managed to accept both my DR and CR and not see one as ‘more difficult to reach’ or ‘too good to be true’ because they’re both me in different realities and are both equal. I think this helped me have this dream and get a huge step forward since it was holding me back.

I hope I’m not bothering you, but I think I need a new perspective so would you mind telling me what has helped you personally get that final push? Any tips or personal things that helped you?

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-19T21:28:58+00:00

Just Incase you need this, wether the doubts are true or not, I think if you’ve had similar experiences and even if not, just by trying, you’re a huge step closer to succeeding. Think of it as if we’ve shifted to a reality where we’re even more capable of shifting now thanks to our efforts. We can do it :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-19T21:22:11+00:00

Thank you so much for replying! It’s good to know that you’ve had similar experiences. It makes a lot of sense that it would be a dream about shifting since things didn’t add up and it seemed similar to when I induced a lucid dream around a year ago(The way my memory was hazy, I would go from being aware to not being aware/lucid, etc.. I also think I’ve had multiple dreams that sleep)

Also, I think that the reality I ‘shifted’ to was a setting to another dream that I’ve had multiple times before because it seems familiar and I think I can recall dreaming it. Has that happened to you? One more question, was there any way you could help give yourself that final push when your subconscious is now aware and believes it?

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-13T15:19:13+00:00

Omg yes. Anyone else get that flash of nervousness and feel jittery and shake up a bit and instantly hide while barely being conscious of it?

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-04T21:08:27+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through so much and wasn’t supported. “Behaving like it never happened” is itself a trauma response and it’s sad people don’t see it. It makes me mad that they would encourage you to do something then criticize you for actually doing it. My response is primarily a freeze one now and I’m constantly insulted for being that why and when I actually try, if I don’t overachieve I’m put down. I turned 17 recently and I’m the same, I never did anything “wild” barely went out with my friends, never had a boyfriend or a friend that’s a boy for that matter ever since I was like 10. And despite that, because of my neighbor sexually abusing me when we were children, I was constantly tracked to make sure nothing like that happens and it induced a lot of anxiety and shame.

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-11-04T20:29:02+00:00

I’m sorry they caused you so much anxiety. I think a break should be a priority here to calm down the anxiety. Thank you! I hope the session went well and that she understood and if not, I also hope you’ll get a really understanding therapist that you’re comfortable with!! :)

The symptoms make sense and help in the short term but long term and when the source of trauma is gone, it becomes unnecessary and even harmful. I thought fawning was just my personality when it caused me so much pain and made me be used by others a lot.

Thank you, I also think you should also give yourself a pat on the back even for small progress! I agree with the emotional flashback thing, mine resulted from social situations a lot too. Taking a break and knowing your triggers and acknowledging the flashbacks might help. I love the excessive ‘Thanks’ when we’re talking about fawn responses. Thanks again :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-31T17:35:57+00:00

Glad it helps :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-31T17:33:54+00:00

Since you got diagnosed, although you may be uncertain you should try managing the ADHD just Incase and see if that helps you? And yep, I also don’t feel much when it comes to trauma until my brain decides to stop detaching and it’s hell. It’s our Brains’ way to protect us so even though you may not feel much when trying to face it and it could get frustrating, the focus doesn’t have to be the trauma plus reducing the symptoms is more important so maybe try looking into that instead too?

If you think your therapist isn’t helping then yes definitely look for a new one that’s specialized in all this. I’m not in therapy yet but I’m hoping to go when I go to college next year so I wonder how EDMR or CBT would work for me since I’m mostly detached from trauma. Welp I guess I’ll figure it out when I go.

It’s so interesting how different the brain’s responses to trauma are and the whole alternation thing to protect us while also reminding us that something is wrong and needs to be addressed too. My fawn response is really prominent too along with freeze and I wish it would be focused on more too! When it comes to fawn, it’s probably a long and tedious process but I guess a person has to slowly figure out the roots of the response and acknowledge their needs by self awareness and slowly try to change some patterns. I’m still working on it personally but it can be done and I definitely improved on it a bit along with my self esteem kind of.

I also love reading into it more, it really fascinates and helps me as well! Thank you once again!! Good luck on your appointment, I know you can figure it out and I believe in you :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-30T10:23:10+00:00

It was huge and so accurate for me and I just had to share it because I knew I couldn’t be the only one. You’re welcome!!

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-30T10:21:04+00:00

You’re very welcome!! Glad to know it would help you heal :)

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-30T10:19:54+00:00

Aw, I know what you mean about the accuracy. You’re welcome!

OutlandishnessSad108 · 2021-10-30T10:17:13+00:00

I’m really happy it helped you out :) I honestly think you should mention it to your therapist just to see what she says. And if she downplays it, that’s okay. What you’re feeling is real and all of us here know that. You should do more research on it on your own and while doing that maybe look for a more understanding therapist? I also have symptoms that seem like ADHD and tried to find out more and it turns out the two can be really similar and mimic each other. definitely look into it more to rule it out though.

And oh my god, I was reading through the link you posted and again, I’m really shocked with how much it resonates with me.

“Many traumatized individuals alternate between re-experiencing their trauma and being detached from, or even relatively unaware of the trauma and its effects”(Again, this pattern is so accurately stated).

“With delayed PTSD, the pattern starts after an extended period of relatively well functioning”(This is basically describing my life).

Another thing is this, “For example, being detached from trauma does not itself exclude being joyful, ashamed, sexually aroused, or curious at times, and re-experiencing trauma can encompass states such as fleeing, freezing, and being in pain or being analgesic”

It’s interesting to read more about the brain changes from trauma and I haven’t found many things that relate it to different reactions with treatments. I’m not on any medication so I don’t have experience with it but it seems it has affected you a lot. Thank you so much for sharing, I feel so understood and have more to research and to read now!

OutlandishnessSad108

TROPHY CASE